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They F**king Did It; Movie Movie is Happening

This Is Not a Joke / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 10, 2008 | Comments (55)

How many times have we joked both above and below the comment line that, after Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Scary Movies 1 - 47, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Fat Movie, Skinny Movie, Dumb Movie and Holy Fucking Shit Movie that there’d be nothing left to spoof, leaving Hollywood with nothing left to do but a Movie Movie. In other words: A spoof of a spoof movie.

The powers that be have been reading a lot of Pajiba, folks. And they’ve heard your pleas. This is not the stupidest movie ever — it’s a spoof of the stupidest genre, thereby falling both above and below the stupid meter. You know that whole joke about the space/time continuum ripping apart under the weight of the collective dim-wittedness of Hollywood? Well, the space/time continuum’s space/time continuum just ripped. And my asshole is numb. The truth behind the entire universe is set to be revealed, and it is this: For the last 6,000 years (creationism was right!), we’ve been living in the eternal space between Meat Loaf’s bitch tits. That explains life’s weird odor.

The deets, according to Satan’s newsletter, Variety:

Chevy Chase, Burt Reynolds, Vinnie Jones, Michael Madsen and “Stuttering” John Melendez are spoofing the nonstop flood of spoof films in the upcoming indie comedy “Not Another Not Another Movie.” Chase plays a studio head who quits his floundering company, leaving his ex-con sibling (Madsen) in charge. Soon their equally inept gangster friend (Jones) takes over and assigns a production assistant (David Leo Schultz) to direct a spoof of spoof movies. Reynolds plays an actor playing the director of the chaotic film within the film.

It’s appropriate, I suppose, that in spoofing movies starring largely up-and-coming has beens, Not Another Not Another Movie will feature has-been has beens, or actors that have been has been so long they no longer be, if you get my meaning. Also, a note to writer/director David Murphy: We want royalties, you motherfucker. We know you read the site: You’re a long-time camera operator. What the fuck else do you have to do?

No word on whether Carmen Electra will cameo.


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Comments

I can't...I just can't grasp this. It's a fucking wormhole.

I think my brainstem just shorted out.

Posted by: Nicole at November 10, 2008 11:04 AM

I am hoping this is going to be so monumentally bad, it becomes brilliant again. It will either win an Oscar, or it will cause blood to shoot out the eyes of everyone watching while simultaneously triggering The Rapture.

Posted by: Tammy at November 10, 2008 11:06 AM

"Well, the space/time continuum's space/time continuum just ripped. And my asshole is numb."

Gosh, Dustin, all this time we just thought the sun shone out of there.... *heehee*

Sounds like an atrocious movie, though. It's a movie about a spoof movie being made about spoof movies?

Uh-oh, now my brainstem's shorted out too. I'll just sit here and twitch uselessly with Nicole.

Posted by: meaux at November 10, 2008 11:10 AM

This is crazy enough to distract me about the fact that I'm turning in my motherfucking thesis in a couple of hours. It also makes me forget about my graduation film being premiered tomorrow to friends, family and teachers.

I'm kidding. It didn't. I'M FREAFKING OUT, AND IF I HAD ANY REAL FRIENDS I'D TALK ABOUT THIS WITH THEM, BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL I HAVE, WHICH IS EVEN MORE DISTURBING AND SAD.

So now I'm sad and nervous. Way to go, Sofi. And stop referring to yourself in the third person, you self-centered freak.

Posted by: Sofía at November 10, 2008 11:17 AM

Oh, come on, you act like its so bad....hey does anyone hear...hor....horses? Like, really big, really loud horses. And....and what I think....i that a trumpet? No..wait....seven trumpets. Yes I am sure, count them. And what smells like burning sulfur?

Crap. My cup water just turned red. And tastes kinda salty.....is...is that a frog in there?

Posted by: Vermillion at November 10, 2008 11:17 AM

I'm speechless. How the hell do you spoof a spoof? There's only so much meta you can do before it's just not entertaining on any level. And rule one should be that a movie has to be entertaining. It should just exist to make a point.

Besides, as I've mentioned before, "Movie Movie" has already been filmed, and it starred George C. Scott and Barry Bostwick. It was a double feature, complete with fake trailers, and George C. Scott dies is every single one of them.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 10, 2008 11:22 AM

ARGH! I meant, "It should NOT exist just to make a point."

Posted by: BWeaves at November 10, 2008 11:24 AM

NO .

Posted by: figgy at November 10, 2008 11:24 AM

Wha...

Nope.

Sofi! Take some deep breaths, love. It will be fine. It's a brilliant thesis and they're all going to love it, and everyone will love you film. Also, you have many, many real live friends. And don't be sad about your Pajibites, we're real people too, you know! We just live in this little box instead of in houses near you.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 10, 2008 11:26 AM

So...this is like integers right? A negative minus a negative equals a positive? So by my calculations:
Painful cramp inducing shit - crime against humanity = comsos altering gloriousness and proof that god loves humanity.

This has to be the way the formula works because the only other alterative is: painful cramp inducing shit + crime against humanity = the simultanious sodomization of the entire human race......with pineapples.

Somebody call Stephen Hawking.

Posted by: admin at November 10, 2008 11:27 AM

Can someone who's seen the "Meet the Spartans" movie please explain to me why the 3 white people in the photo are 3 completely different unnatural shades of the Crayola color formally known as "flesh?"

Posted by: BWeaves at November 10, 2008 11:29 AM

Oh Chevy Chase, why couldn't you have overdosed on cocaine and heroin instead of Belushi?

Posted by: Lucas at November 10, 2008 11:31 AM

BWeaves it's because the "flesh" color now has various shades based on the level of shame.

Posted by: admin at November 10, 2008 11:33 AM

I'm trying to figure this out, but I just can't. I'd have a better shot at understanding the 10th dimension.

Posted by: chenry at November 10, 2008 11:33 AM

How the hell do you spoof a spoof?

No, we've passed that. "Date Movie" went off the rails by begging the question "How do you spoof a comedy?" Any and all sense stopped there.

This here might be.....so crazy it works!

Posted by: Jay at November 10, 2008 11:35 AM

If they're going to go for this level of absurdity, they need to carry the marketing campaign along to its illogical conclusion. Ticket prices become pi for adults, e for children. Showings are held only on Thursdays and Saturday mornings. You get a free popcorn at the concession stand if you openly bring in your own beverages. Halfway through the movie they have an intermission and everyone has to shift seats two spaces to the left.

I might see it if they perked it up that way.

Posted by: Wednesday at November 10, 2008 11:39 AM

This so meta that it caused me to soil myself after part of my brain melted.

Vermillion, thanks for the observations. Now I have a justifiable reason for all these sores!

Posted by: branded at November 10, 2008 11:40 AM

Fuck. It's not even worth writing a note.

:click:

:BLAM!:

:thud:

Posted by: Sean at November 10, 2008 11:42 AM

Wait, wait, wait...

It's not a spoof movie, spoofing spoof movies. It's actually a movie about some idiots making a spoof movie that spoofs spoof movies!

Jesus H. Christ!

They've like jumped ahead of the curve! It's like a prequel for a sequel of a movie that never existed! The space-time continuum is indeed tearing apart!

It might even defy all logical laws and be good! I don't even know!

Arrrrgh!

I've got to go! I'm running out of exclamation points!

Posted by: Godsbane at November 10, 2008 11:42 AM

Perhaps none of this is real and we're in the Matrix and because of declining reserves of humans to hook up into it, the machines are desperately trying to squeeze the last little bit of energy out of us with ultra-mega-meta concepts on the big screen while they try to figure out a new alternative energy source.

Puce pill or chartreuse pill?

Posted by: Deacon Blue at November 10, 2008 11:53 AM

The really worst part of it is, it's got Pajibites writing complex mathematical formulae again.

pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhka-POW!

(That was my brain exploding.)

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 10, 2008 11:56 AM

You know, I think this is going to be a beautiful movie. I think it will shine with the splendour of a thousand suns. I think..
!%@&$#*()##$&)#(!@%~!%!

sorry, Pea is no longer feeling well. We'll get back to you when she's out of the brain-repair ward of the hospital.

Posted by: Pea at November 10, 2008 12:15 PM

butthole!

Posted by: thaf at November 10, 2008 12:21 PM

From the sound of it, it's looks like they might be able to try and make fun of the guys who make these types of movies. The gruesome twosome who made all of the Movie movies have not been named in conjunction with this project, so I think we're safe. PLUS, there's some other parody "2012-ish" on the way, that is also devoid of Fredberg/Seltzer doucheries.

Of course, I could just be wrong and these could be the biggest puppy kicks since Scary Movie 3 and 4.

Posted by: Mike R. at November 10, 2008 12:48 PM

From the sound of it, it's looks like they might be able to try and make fun of the guys who make these types of movies. The gruesome twosome who made all of the Movie movies have not been named in conjunction with this project, so I think we're safe. PLUS, there's some other parody "2012-ish" on the way, that is also devoid of Fredberg/Seltzer doucheries.

Of course, I could just be wrong and these could be the biggest puppy kicks since Scary Movie 3 and 4.

Posted by: Mike R. at November 10, 2008 12:49 PM

Sorry, since when is it even legal to use "INDIE" and "CHEVY CHASE" in the same sentence? Will we soon see Will Smith in an "indie" movie? Freddie fucking Prinze Jr? Does nobody care about semantics anymore?

Posted by: marija at November 10, 2008 1:09 PM

Wait, Indie Comedy? Why in that case it must be quirky and delightful! Where's Ellen Page! For the love of god we need Indie Quirk ... *trails off staring into the horizon..*
Oh My Sweet Banana of Havana.
We need to make Indie Movie it'll have an amazing soundtrack and unconventional actors, maybe some kind of deeper meaning AND TRUCKTONS OF QUIRK. Quirky just for the sake of shits and giggles. It'll be a box office flop but it'll be just what we need to stick in those hipsters' collective craws.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 10, 2008 1:12 PM

What is this, some sort of insanity test!?!

Did the fucking hadron collider create a tear in the dimensions and send us into some kind of hell dimension? Is god angry that the fucking Beverly Hills dog movie made 100 million, and this is his punishment?

Alright, that's it. I vote we force Hollywood to leave the union, and bring up its leaders on war crime trials, and execute them by shoving the negatives of these films into their buttholes!

Butthole!
Butthole!
Butthole!
Butthole!
Fuckhole!

Posted by: George at November 10, 2008 1:24 PM

Dibs on the title "Not Another Not Another Movie Movie..."

It will star Z-list celebrities who say their line once. And then repeat the same line, hamming it up to the audience. Laughter ensues.

Get it? It's like the person who tells you a joke, then explains the joke to you like you are a fucking idiot. Which I guess is funny in sense... but more like "Ha Ha you're a Tool funny, now get away from my hand before it meet your face."

Posted by: Beauregard at November 10, 2008 1:27 PM

Dammit! They took my idea! My film was going to be called Funny Movie and it was going to be about a guy trying to write a spoof movie of spoof movies, except we'd keep pulling back to discover that what we thought was the reality of the movie was actually just a scene being screened for the producers, ad infinitum.

I actually have hope for this, since it's clearly going to be very tongue-in-cheek, and I think the only way to properly spoof these movies is to get so meta someone's head explodes.

Posted by: Macafee at November 10, 2008 1:44 PM

Fun fact: it's been proven via topology that the spacetime continuum is actually God's butthole. It puts all this talk of rips and tears in a whole new (painful) light.

It also seems to prove that Hollywood really loves anal.

Posted by: branded at November 10, 2008 1:46 PM

branded, does this mean that Dustin is God?! Man, B-Slim is screwed....

Posted by: meaux at November 10, 2008 1:54 PM

Meaux, I don't want to delve too deeply into proctheology (the study of religious phenomena that specifically pertain to the ass), but Dustin certainly could be experiencing some kind of rectal stigmata.

Posted by: branded at November 10, 2008 2:06 PM

Why does God hate us? Seriously...what the fuck? This is the most what-the-fuck moment since that time I woke up with a pain in my ass and three dollars in quarters scattered around my comatose body. It wasn't even new quarters, you bastards.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 10, 2008 2:16 PM

Thank God no one's taken Oscar Movie from me yet...

Posted by: Mike R. at November 10, 2008 2:22 PM

"And the show has reached a new low"

That's it. Anyone attached to this project, especially with approval powers, is on my shit list. Starving actors with little choice and bit parts earn a themselves kick in the ass, everyone else is dead to me. You hear that, Hollywood?? Dead!
Ahhhh, like they even fucking care.

Maybe we get the entertainment we deserve. Sadly, it's the NASCAR-loving mouth-breathing "Yes on 8" Republitards who determine what we deserve. Shit.

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 10, 2008 2:23 PM

Dammit, branded, I very nearly spit precious and much-needed coffee!

Posted by: meaux at November 10, 2008 2:25 PM

ARGH! I meant, "It should NOT exist just to make a point."

Posted by: BWeaves at November 10, 2008 11:24 AM

I liked it better the first time.

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 10, 2008 2:25 PM

Good luck, Sophia!!

Posted by: tt_marie at November 10, 2008 2:57 PM

when are they going to make indie movie? a bunch of jobless white artists live in brooklyn where they sit around making insipid banter and listen to the pixies (or some other completely overplayed band that used to be good until movie soundtracks ruined them). then something happens that causes them to go on a soul-searching road trip. two of them fall in love even though they've known each other their whole lives. equally crappy indie music swells, credits roll, the end. easy peasy.

Posted by: snarla at November 10, 2008 3:31 PM

Che: Maybe I should have just stopped at, "It should NOT exist."

Posted by: BWeaves at November 10, 2008 3:59 PM

Surely Obama's first act as Prez BEFORE closing Gitmo should be to give the Movie moviemakers a six month tour, no expense spared? The lights, the music and the amusing games of "Pin The Tail On The Donkey"... c'mon Baz, put the place to good use.

Posted by: Mr Smug at November 10, 2008 4:28 PM

Branded: I am totally gonna suggest that the next song my band writes be called 'Rectal Stigmata'. Kudos for the inspiration.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at November 10, 2008 4:47 PM

Hey, how much you guys wanna bet that it'll hit at #1 at the box office its opening weekend? I fuck bet you anything.

High School Musical 4: We're Actually Not In High School Anymore and Hannah Montana 345435 will trail at #2 and #3. I'm calling it now.

Posted by: monkey_b at November 10, 2008 5:41 PM

wait.................................what?

Posted by: (hip hop) anonymous at November 10, 2008 6:06 PM

I fuck bet you anything.

Posted by: monkey_b at November 10, 2008 5:41 PM

My sincere hope is that you were going for the present participle and got lazy typing fingers, monkey_b. I'm not familiar with the expression fuck bet -- even though I'm well-acquainted with the extreme versatility of fuck as a modifier in all its variegated forms -- but I have to confess to mild curiosity about how a fuck bet is settled...

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 10, 2008 6:59 PM

Anna, you're my favorite kind of Valium.

Posted by: Sofía at November 10, 2008 7:48 PM

I completely agree with you Mr. Smug, I'd go out of my way to keep Gitmo open if they sent these fuckers their. Fuck you Chevy Chase! Fuck you David Murphy! Fuck you all with bleeding dicks, and infect you with AIDS.

Posted by: George at November 10, 2008 9:02 PM

Che, I don't know either, but just to be on the safe side I wouldn't make any "fuck bets" if I were you. You're probably hoping it's like strip poker. I'm bett ... um, I'm guessing it's how prison wagers get settled.

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 10, 2008 9:50 PM

The next movie should be called I Know What You Did Last Movie, and be about a giant octopus that kills all the fuckers responsible for these Movie Movies.

Posted by: JP at November 11, 2008 12:26 AM

*Brain explodes*

Posted by: Nadine at November 11, 2008 9:56 AM

You know the sad thing is, back in the 80s if people heard about a movie starring Chevy Chase and Burt Reynolds they'd think it would be the best thing ever made and back then they'd probably have been right. I mean, who wouldn't want to watch Clark Griswald race the Bandit? But now, it's just kind of sad.

Posted by: Sir Richard Hatman at November 11, 2008 9:48 PM

The only way this could have been great is if it were an homage to The Producers combined with a huge TAKE THAT! to the douchetits who are responsible for shit like Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie.

Like, a couple of no-talent hacks want to get into the film biz, but realize they are talentless losers, and so hatch a plan to take advantage of tax laws by producing a movie so bad it will deliberately flop.

Only, to their surprise, it's a hit, and they're rich.

After recovering from the stunning success of their shitty, shitty movie, they decide to run another experiment, with a worse movie, and it succeeds. Then another, and another, and each succeeds. Then the real meat of the story comes into play.

They think this means they have talent. And they do. Not as filmmakers, but as producers. So they try to create a serious film, shooting for glory...and it flops, and they are left destitute and penniless, reduced to sucking each other off as performance art on the street for nickels.

I would watch that.

Posted by: Shadowen at November 12, 2008 7:05 PM

I don't get the reaction here. This seems less like it's going to go with the "movie" formula, and more like it is going to criticize the thinking behind these types of movies and the absurdity of the movie business.

As said above me it looks like it will play out more like The Producers, Wag the Dog, or Hollywood Shuffle than anything else.

Posted by: G.M.Spectre at November 14, 2008 4:17 PM

Wow. I just pissed and shit all over myself, then vomited all over the place just for good measure because of this horse shit. I'm going to go get some heroin, roofies, cocaine, and brownie mix so I can make death brownies to kill myself now.

Posted by: Mr. Spock at January 12, 2009 4:34 PM