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Mother of 3 Teenage Boys Posts the Most Hilariously Honest Amazon Review of Kleenex You Will Ever Read

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | December 21, 2013 | Comments ()


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This is absolutely, amazingly perfect. Kleenex “facial” tissue, my ass!

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(Hat Tip: Elleryface)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • e jerry powell

    But, see, gay men living alone are so much more practical in matters such as these.

    EXTRA (PURPOSE SPECIFIC) TOWELS.

    But somehow people have to get over the bashfulness and admit what's going on, at least within themselves.

    And surely there's no mom alive that doesn't have dish towels that have been well used since they were received as wedding gifts. PRACTICAL MATTERS.

  • googergieger

    I like the other one passed around a few years ago, about the college that needed to send out a memo cause all the dudes were jizzing in the coed showers so much it clogged up the drains something fierce.

  • e jerry powell

    Sounds as though some guys need to either jerk off more frequently (preferably not in the shower, I get it) or head to the urologist to see what the hell's going on in their prostates.

  • googergieger

    Well combination of a lot of guys jizzing into a drain, then also tossing in their tissues or what have you along with it.

  • e jerry powell

    Now that's just gross.

    YOU'RE IN THE FRICKIN' SHOWER. YOU DON'T NEED TO USE TISSUES.

    :-P

    I wish there was an emoticon for gagging back vomit.

  • DeaconG

    Oh, they're just putting up a front...Mom doesn't know how much baby oil and lotions they've stashed around the house...

  • MrONegative

    I can't breathe.

  • Debra Kessing

    me too - my respiratory system is not used to hysterical laughter any more :)

  • Screw authenticity. "They slink around the house like unfixed cats," made my morning.

  • KilmStewart

    If a repost from Reddit that Dustin didn't even bother to check on Amazon gets more comments than the American Hustle review then I'm going back to AICN for the first time in 8 years.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    but...YOU didn't comment on the American Hustle review.

  • Pitry

    But the picture of this post is taken from Stargate!

    (I promise I'll comment about American Hustle once I've seen it. Although I'm sure they could have found a screenshot from Stargate to go with that post as well.)

  • firedmyass

    Your quiet dignity and uncompromising standards are an inspiration to all.

  • Aaron Schulz

    A hero really, a hero we deserve.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    But is he one we need right now? Because it seems like we might want a strong detergent and difficult button flys first.

  • Emran Huq

    Why don't the boys use banana skin?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • bleujayone

    Wasn't there a similar albeit shorter rant in the movie Bridesmaids?

  • grr arrgh

    "I cracked a blanket in half." Yep, Wendi McLendon-Covey's character in Bridesmaids.

  • UglyBattery

    I don't care about the authenticity of that review because I'm laughing too hard! Hilarious.

  • It's a fake, written by a wit who regularly puts "reviews" like this up on Amazon.
    Don't get me wrong; it's hilarious and totally worth sharing. But it's not a real mom w/ three real teenage compulsive masturbators.
    "I almost cut my hand on a sock." Heh.

  • John G.

    It's not fake, it's comedy. There's a difference.

  • e jerry powell

    Seconded.

  • LittleMissPonderer

    Don't ruin this for me...

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