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It’s Like "The Bachelor" Meets "The Biggest Loser"

A Dating Show for People Like “Us”! / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 30, 2009 | Comments (49)

The FOX network, in another noble, brave attempt to curry favor with the unwashed, overweight masses, has come up with an exciting new idea for a date show. Instead of presenting vapid, twig-like blondes and half-brained consultants and lawyers with impeccable on their dating shows, FOX has reached into the rabbit hole and pulled out: Paul Blart and Norbit’s Rasputia.

That’s right, folks. Instead of a dumb dating show populated with pretty people, FOX is rolling out the patronizingly titled, “More to Love,” which will be a dumb dating show populated with “the rest of us,” which is to say: Overweight people (thanks for looking out, FOX, you condescending motherfuckers).

“For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like,” Fox president of alternative Mike Darnell said. “Why don’t real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?” Fox is developing the project with Mike Fleiss, the producer of ABC’s “The Bachelor.” Indeed, the project has a similar format to “Bachelor,” where a group of woman compete for one man (producers describe him as a “Kevin James-type”).

I love it! FOX is already calling its target demographic fat, and thinks that — just because its demo may or may not be overweight — their idea of a dreamboat is Paul fucking Blart. But here’s the hypocritical kicker: Not only will the show focus on “real overweight” people” just like me and you, but they’re also incorporating a makeover element to the show, as if to say: We want regular people, but we also want to make them prettier. And skinnier! Because real people are a lot more appealing if they’re a little less real.

And what else, really, could we expect from the network that brought us “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” and “The Littlest Groom”?

But hey! At least it’s not The Rock dressing up as Hannah Montana (zoom 30 seconds into the clip below, then burn your retinas):



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Comments

A burly pro wrestler dressed up as Hannah Montana? Billy Ray Cyrus' fantasy has become reality.

Posted by: branded at March 30, 2009 9:58 AM

My EYES!!!

Posted by: alphawhiskey at March 30, 2009 10:01 AM

I think Miley's birth control pills are messing with her hormones. Who bursts into tears when winning a Kid's Choice Award?

Posted by: returnofthesmith at March 30, 2009 10:03 AM

Retinas are thoroughly burned.

Posted by: brenia at March 30, 2009 10:13 AM

Get me the hell away from this TV
All these news and views are beneath me.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 30, 2009 10:19 AM

in other words: for the Wal-Mart crowd..

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 30, 2009 10:25 AM

Fortunately, my retinas were already detached in a freak tilt-a-whirl accident.

Posted by: admin at March 30, 2009 10:27 AM

Who bursts into tears when winning a Kid's Choice Award?

Someone who understands very clearly who butters her bread.

Posted by: Wednesday at March 30, 2009 10:28 AM

So, are we fat AND ugly, or just ugly because we're fat? I like to keep my self-loathing straight.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 30, 2009 10:34 AM

THE GOGGLES!!! THEY DO NOTHING!!!

In other news...fuck you, FOX. This is what you cancelled Greg the Bunny for?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 30, 2009 10:36 AM

I am SO turned on right now...

Posted by: I Love Beets at March 30, 2009 10:39 AM

Instead of "More to Love", I propose "Lowered Expectations" for the name of that show...

Posted by: FabMax at March 30, 2009 10:46 AM

You'd have to wonder what kind of song or theme the show would have, I really hope they throw in that part of 50 Cent's song "21 Questions."

"I love you more than a Fat kid loves Cake"

Because that's a whole lot of fucking love right there...

Posted by: RonnyK at March 30, 2009 10:48 AM

"Fat People Need Love Too...They Just Have to Pay"

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 30, 2009 10:48 AM

Who bursts into tears when winning a Kid's Choice Award?

The ones who realize their career has effectively reached its apex, and there's no where to go but down (to porn).

Posted by: Mike R. at March 30, 2009 10:49 AM

I'll bet "Two and a Half Men" is starting to look real good about now, isn't it?

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 30, 2009 10:53 AM

I would't care if The Rock was wearing a people suit made out of the skin of my family members, I'd still do unseemly things to him.

Posted by: Julie at March 30, 2009 10:54 AM

I have a friend who works security who looks strikingly similar to Kevin James. Yes he has to wear the polyester outfit and little tie. Everytime a picture from that movie pos up my brain goes "its Ryan-o!", then I am disappointed by the Blartiness of it all. It breaks my heart that he has to endure all these jokes now about that terrible movie, and people assume he is a moron because of it. He does wish he could get the Segway though.

Posted by: Jadashay at March 30, 2009 10:55 AM

Somebody wake up Larson

Posted by: Jay at March 30, 2009 10:59 AM

Damn, Julie, the Rock's a big guy. I hope you have a lot of cousins. Or they're tall.

Posted by: twig at March 30, 2009 11:05 AM

I would't care if The Rock was wearing a people suit made out of the skin of my family members

It's still a felony, Julie.

Posted by: branded at March 30, 2009 11:13 AM

Twig, I have 21 first cousins on my mother's side and their Irish complexions would look quite lovely on The Rock.

Posted by: Julie at March 30, 2009 11:13 AM

I don't think I can handle
She goes channel to channel
Cold looking for that hero
She watch Channel Zero.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 30, 2009 11:21 AM

I’m a connoisseur when it comes to women in general, but when it comes to BBW’s I am without equal in my passion for them. I will watch this show with great interest. I have long held the view that big girls need some dick too.

Posted by: Pookie at March 30, 2009 11:22 AM

Pookie, With your attitude you will never go without. Salute!

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 30, 2009 11:28 AM

Jay, I like the idea of our little Sarina operating as a black ops agent/one-woman MurderTank.

"When you absolutely, positively need somebody to completely wreck a muthafucka's shit, call Larson."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 30, 2009 11:31 AM

Is the right right? Transsexuals at the kids choice awards? They should have used a prettier recruiter. I hear Jude Law looks good in a dress.

Posted by: anikitty at March 30, 2009 11:33 AM

Actually I was thinking about her Rock fixation and the perversity she's missing...but you're probably right.

Is bucdaddy going for a "blackest white man on Pajiba" spinoff from that other thread?

Posted by: Jay at March 30, 2009 11:39 AM

Sarina's 937th trip to the zoo might have worn her out. Let her sleep. The Rock will still be there tomorrow. Unless Julie gets to him before then...

Posted by: Lainey at March 30, 2009 11:50 AM

Yo, Jay, fo shizzle.
---
in other words: for the Wal-Mart crowd..

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 30, 2009 10:25 AM
---
As long as we're slagging huge demographic groups ... Is there any self-respecting, truck-driving, football-loving, Bud-swilling straight man who watches shit like this and "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" and their ilk?

Come Pajudgment Day, you women have a lot of bad TV to answer for. *shakes finger at you* And that's before I even get into the soaps.

Yo, baby, you better cut that garbage off NOW, you know what I'm sayin? Cause that's garbage you're watchin, straight up garbage.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 30, 2009 11:53 AM

I always wonder why is it that very muscular, over workout men, like (LOVE) to dress in drag, and why the American public finds this so funny.

This because as a person from a different non-north american country, I can tell you that any time a relative or a family friend sees this kind of stuff, they don't laugh but rather look at the happenings in bafflement and often ask me to change the channel...

Also, the Rock is hot.

Posted by: sara at March 30, 2009 11:53 AM

Come Pajudgment Day, you women have a lot of bad TV to answer for. *shakes finger at you*

I for one will never apologize for watching America's Next Top Model. NEVER. When my time comes and my soul is swept into heaven to live with the great Tyra in the sky, I will finally know the answers to life's most important questions while you non-believers are left in the dust.

Posted by: Julie at March 30, 2009 12:01 PM

"any time a relative or a family friend sees this kind of stuff, they don't laugh"
---
Poor bastards have never seen Monty Python, I guess.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 30, 2009 12:06 PM

Julie, are you watching this cycle? How about that audacious Celia chick?

Posted by: lizzieborden at March 30, 2009 12:23 PM

Jesus Christ, FOX. I love how even when the dating show is about "real" people, it still follows the formula of "women compete desperately for guy," because even in the fucking real world, fat motherfuckers, or, for a completely random example, short Puerto Ricans with tiny dicks, can still pick between women. If a woman's fat, she'll actually go on TV to try to fucking win Kevin fucking James minus the celebrity and money.

That being said, I will probably watch this, in all its cringe-worthy glory. Do these reality dating shows make me look fat?

Posted by: SaBrina at March 30, 2009 12:40 PM

Speaking of drag, in all honesty, that's the one reason I am jealous of men. It looks like a total blast--not the Rock's stupidity, but like RuPaul's "Drag Race."

Would it be wrong to get a sex change so that I can be a queen?

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 30, 2009 12:46 PM

I only saw the first two episodes Liz, but my roommate told me about the latest one with her saying something stupid at panel. She's a silly bitch with an ugly haircut.

I kind of hate myself right now.

Posted by: Julie at March 30, 2009 12:51 PM

frumpiefox - believe it or not, you do not actually have to get a sex change. I read an article not that long ago--perhaps in Bust?--on women drag queens. 'Cause any woman will tell you, drag queens are in their own special realm of style and femininity.

Posted by: tamatha at March 30, 2009 1:02 PM

Ooooh, tamatha, you just made my day!

Though it doesn't seem the same; just for example, learning proper tucking technique seems like a crucial rite of passage.

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 30, 2009 1:28 PM

When my time comes and my soul is swept into heaven to live with the great Tyra in the sky...

Does that come with a makeover, Julie? For some reason, I can totally picture Jay and Miss J. sitting on a cloud, telling you to "work it".

Posted by: Cindy at March 30, 2009 1:49 PM

Fuck no I ain't clicking that. I won't play your games, Rowles.

I for one will never apologize for watching America's Next Top Model. NEVER. When my time comes and my soul is swept into heaven to live with the great Tyra in the sky, I will finally know the answers to life's most important questions while you non-believers are left in the dust.

YES. You must bow to Tyra!

Seriously, with the boring girls this season that show has just become a matter of waiting to see what new insanity Tyra's gonna come up with this week. She NEVER disappoints. And it's a perfect brain-soother for after Lost. Your brain is left in such a gooey condition that Tyra fits right in.

Posted by: figgy at March 30, 2009 2:33 PM

YES. You must bow to Tyra!

I for one worship those weaves and wigs. Twice as drag as Ru Paul, and taking herself twice as serious. Your brain has to revert back to a primitive gooey state to cope with all the shamelessly catering to Tyra's ego every episode, cuz "there's a difference between this" (insert generic pose) and this (insert same. exact. generic. pose.). You get it, girl?" Mmm, hmm.

I just came off a Sunday bender of ANTM. Six hours I will never get back. Judge me, but be gentle. My self-image is wavering after that onslaught.

Posted by: Leigh Hacksaw at March 30, 2009 3:36 PM

MAKE ME FEMME FATALIAN!

Posted by: figgy at March 30, 2009 3:42 PM

lol omg THANKS FOX!! you are so right! the women that watch these shows ("real" ie rotund women) DO deserve love too! thank you for making this show because fuck all knows no one reproduced before reality dating!! THANK YOU FOX PLZ FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE KTHX.

Posted by: soda at March 30, 2009 4:43 PM

I can only pity all the fools everywhere and then wait for it to become outstanding Soup fodder (and I don't go anywhere near this stuff without Joel McHale's protective embrace).

Posted by: Jay at March 30, 2009 4:52 PM

Mr. McHale is the only reason why I don't curse the God of Reality Shows, Jay.

Posted by: Julie at March 30, 2009 4:56 PM

Would it be wrong to get a sex change so that I can be a queen?

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 30, 2009 12:46 PM

You have officially blown my mind.

Posted by: NF at March 31, 2009 12:21 AM

I live to...blow?

Damn, that didn't come out right at all.

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 31, 2009 10:53 AM

No it's "I blow minds for a living", but you've probably gotta pay Jello Biafra a few bucks to say it.

Posted by: Jay at March 31, 2009 9:18 PM





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