Modern Hamlet with Hirsch

Frailty, Thy Name is Emile!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (27)

The other day, just goofing around on iMDB, I typed in “Hamlet,” and got back 67 title matches and then thought to myself, “Wow. That’s not nearly enough versions of Hamlet on the big screen and small. You know what they say, right? ‘68’s the charm.’” And then I thought: You know what they should do? Update it. Shakespeare’s so 1599. What I’d like to see is a modern retelling of that old classic. And you know what’d be great? To get that kid from Speed Racer to play Hamlet. Emile Hirsch would be a perfect successor to Laurence Olivier, Mel Gibson, and Kenneth Branagh. And then … and then … and then, I thought: Let’s give it a little Twilight sparkle for the kids, you know. Wouldn’t it be great if they got Twilight’s director, Catherine Hardwicke, to direct it?

It’s like Hollywood was reading my mind, man. According to Variety:

Overture Films is developing a modern-day adaptation of “Hamlet” to star Emile Hirsch. “Twilight” helmer Catherine Hardwicke is on board to direct, with Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen producing.

The only thing missing is Kirsten Dunst as Gertrude. It’s nice to know that Hollywood and I are on the same wavelength these days. I think I’m going to go type in Taxi Driver on iMDB now and see what happens.

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I think I’m going to go type in Taxi Driver on iMDB now and see what happens.

I will cut you if you do.

Posted by: Snath at June 4, 2009 10:11 AM

didn't i see his peep somewhere?

Posted by: gp at June 4, 2009 10:19 AM

What to the Horseman's horses eat? Is it souls, misery or do they just like oats. I want to be prepared.

Posted by: admin at June 4, 2009 10:19 AM

RIP David Carradine

Posted by: Kballs at June 4, 2009 10:24 AM

Am I alone in thinking Emile Hersch is an excellent actor? Sure, he's young and is a glossy/cute guy, but I thought he was very good in "Into the Wild" and fantastic in "Milk."

Posted by: samantha t at June 4, 2009 10:32 AM

No, Samantha, you are not alone. Even though the movie is kind of douchey, he's not bad in "Alpha Dog" either. I assume we can blame his agent for Speed Racer.

That being said, this is a bad idea. It almost doesn't matter who you got to play Hamlet, a rehash is NOT needed. I'll bet if it was Ryan Reynold's though DR would be creaming himself and this would be a completely different post...

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at June 4, 2009 10:43 AM

I actually think Hirsch is solid too, samantha t. I thought he was pretty decent in Lords of Dogtown (with Hardwicke, no less) and The Girl Next Door, which is criminally ignored.

Posted by: Eep at June 4, 2009 10:46 AM

Eep, we may not always agree on the best FNM songs, but I'm glad someone else agrees with me on The Girl Next Door which, while not perfect by any means, is very underrated. And while ~~Seth Bullock~~ Timothy Oliphant steals the flick, Hirsch is great in it. He's an undervalued actor.

Posted by: TK at June 4, 2009 11:00 AM

Ok, Dustin. You know I love you. But it is cruel and unfair to judge an actor's talent based on the movies they've done. You're a smart man, and you know better than that. Yes, Speed Racer sucked massive, hairy donkey balls with the kind of warts they use in STD educational film strips, but that doesn't mean Mr. Hirsch doesn't have some serious talent (*Milk, Into the Wild).

And the 500th remake of Shakespeare doesn't bug me either because hey, it's Shakespeare. That's what you do with him. His plays are rich, universal, multilayered, and brilliant enough so you can do them an infinite number of ways and people will never get sick of them. Hell, this admission may disqualify the validity of my comment but fuck it: as an actor I could do Shakespeare plays for the rest of my life and not get bored. And if there's an afterlife, I'm willing to bet the man is pleased as punch about the continual exploration/adaptation/production of his work.

Although to be fair, I wish more people would realize he wrote other plays besides Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. Seriously--- Measure for Measure is a seriously power-house piece about political corruption and religious hypocrisy. Why is no one doing that one? Why???

Using the Twilight director does give me pause. I had to describe that film, and that woman sure does enjoy her long, lingering, swooping, epic shots that last for no reason whatsoever. And coming into the series completely neutral, I found so many moments that were supposed to be serious just downright silly. But who knows? She might surprise us. My ex laughs at me for this, but I always want new talent to do well. *sigh*

Posted by: ShinyKate at June 4, 2009 11:04 AM

Wait...modern Hamlet? Ethan Hawke did that in 2000.

Or I suppose we're probably talking modernized dialogue too, because nothing says "classic literature" like emo kids whining about how life totally blows, man, and my stepdad's a DICK!

Posted by: paquito at June 4, 2009 11:05 AM

On second reading, if they dumb down the language, I'm gonna be pissed.

Posted by: ShinyKate at June 4, 2009 11:11 AM

He might make a decent Hamlet...but I can't stand it when they update Shakespeare. It sounds dumb when the actors are wearing business suits and yapping away in Shakespeare-ese and appear to have no damn idea what they're saying. Branagh really brought it - there's no way to really beat his version and unless the play is re-written into modern English, it might be a complete waste of time to sit thru. I am not a Shakespeare snob - I recently saw an Australian adaptation of Macbeth that wasn't bad (starring Sam Worthington!), but I think it's too distracting when everything is modernized but the dialogue.

Having said all that, I'd still be curious about the other actors that sign on - I think Kirsten Dunst as Gertrude is genius! :)

Posted by: Chickaboom at June 4, 2009 11:13 AM

The Girl Next Door is severely underrated!

I also liked Hirsch in The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, which also starred Kieran Culkin, whom I also love.

Posted by: Melissa at June 4, 2009 11:27 AM

Ethan Hawke's Hamlet was set in modern times, and parts of it were fucking brilliant. Hawke was by no means great in it, but I thought it took a really interesting approach - using the original language like Luhrmann's R&J, but the cinematography really sold it. Ophelia was always surrounded by water, and she was constantly trying to talk when she's in scenes with nothing scripted for her to say. I'm not saying it's a definitive Hamlet, but it is an interesting approach.

Here's a scene between Laertes (Liev Schreiber) and Ophelia (Julia Stiles): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UHbaNRkcJI Plus, Bill Murray is Polonius!

And don't go blaming Twilight on Hardwicke. She didn't write the sparkles now did she? She's a decent director who wanted to cut some of the more ridiculous parts (the "lion and the lamb" line, for instance) but got shot down by the studio.

Posted by: Sarah at June 4, 2009 11:30 AM

Girl Next Door was awesome, not only because it seemed like a proper John Hughes clone, but also because Christopher Marquette steals the show, and would go on to steal Just Friends not too long after. He just does pissed off in a way that's hysterical.

(And Speed Racer was awesome. I can't stress that enough.)

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at June 4, 2009 11:41 AM

In his defense, Emile Hirsch has been amazing in everything except Speed Racer. Into The Wild, Milk, the kid's great. But fuck that Twilight woman! Ugh!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 4, 2009 12:20 PM

I'm glad someone noticed that this has already been done. Reasons why this will suck compared to the 2000 version:

1) Bill Murray
2) The 2000 version was fucking gorgeous
3) Bill Murray
4) The 2000 version is one of the few movies that I can stand the ogre-faced Julia Stiles
5) Bill Murray
6) Steve Zahn playing Steve Zahn doing Shakespeare. Somehow, he pulls it off seamlessly.
7) Liev Schrieber was great as Laertes
8) Fucking Bill Murray as Polonius

With a "modern adaptation" so recent, why the hell would anyone think this is a good idea. This is almost as bad as releasing Infamous (aka the OTHER Capote movie that nobody bothered to see) within a year of Capote, and the same year that Phillip Seymour Hoffman got his Oscar for the role.

I guess ideas don't have to be old to recycle them.

Posted by: Darcy at June 4, 2009 12:32 PM

Thanks for that clip, Sarah. I don't think I even knew that existed and I'd like to check it out. The set design, at least there, is breathtaking.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 4, 2009 12:33 PM

I haven't seen Speed Racer, but Hirsch really stood out in Milk.

Posted by: The essence of fanciness and class at June 4, 2009 12:43 PM

DAMN IT, Dustin. Don't you know that Hollywood is in OUR BRAINS? That the second you think it, it happens? Damn you and your imagination! Make it stop.

Posted by: figgy at June 4, 2009 1:01 PM

I think Hirsch has been really good in some films, but Milk wasn't one of them. He "stood out" by completely overacting. I don't think he has the chops for Hamlet. But I'll never see it anyway. I hate modern adaptations of Shakespeare. I like my Shakespeare in doublet and hose, just the way God made him!

Posted by: jimbob at June 4, 2009 1:21 PM

Shakespeare must be turning in his grave.

Posted by: barf at June 4, 2009 1:57 PM

Between this and ABC Family's turning 10 Things I Hate About You into a tv series I've decided that Hollywood should do a movie about Shakespeare coming back from the dead (like Jesus, not like a zombie...okay fine, he'll be a Zombie Jesus) and rampaging. Not because they're remaking his stuff shitty, oh no--that'd be dumb. But because they're remaking his stuff and he doesn't even get royalties.

Because let's be honest, Shakespeare didn't write his plays because they were heartbreaking works of staggering genius. He wrote them because it was his job and usually he was writing the thing they were going to do the very next day. That's not genius, that's procrastination. In modern times Billy Shakes is probably Ashton fucking Kutcher.

Posted by: Ava at June 4, 2009 2:34 PM

Huh. You know, I only just noticed his hideous facial hair in that pic up top. Eeeyurgh.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 4, 2009 4:08 PM

Love The Girl Next Door as well.

The last time Elisha was hot.

Posted by: Mick J at June 4, 2009 5:26 PM

I'm glad I'm not alone in my Girl Next Door love. It was much better than I expected. And it also began my Elisha Cuthbert girl crush.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at June 4, 2009 8:25 PM

(And Speed Racer was awesome. I can't stress that enough.)

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at June 4, 2009 11:41 AM

Amen, brother.

Posted by: ed newman at June 5, 2009 11:14 AM

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Frailty, Thy Name is Emile!

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