The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles
Trade News | September 18, 2007 | Comments (49)
I don’t know what to think of this rumor, or if I should even bother thinking about it at all, but since a few of our more pervish readers have a boy-crush on Daniel Radcliffe (I don’t care if he’s 18 or not — don’t go telling yourself it’s OK, sicko) I feel compelled to report that there’s speculation floating around the webernets that he’s up for the part of James Bond in a potential Young Bond franchise. He’s still got a couple more Harry Potter’s to film (including Harry Potter and the 30-Year-Old Senior), so I don’t even know how likely it is he could take the part if offered. It’d be a godawful silly decision, not only because it’s hard to imagine Harry Potter casually doing the double-back with a Young Bond Girl, but because the kid’s a terrible actor (I don’t care what the reviews for Equus say). He does a decent job as Potter, but only because it’s been ingrained into our collective DNA. As a cool and collected college superspy, I’m not buying it. Besides, Charles Higson’s Young Bond books introduce Bond as a 13-year-old and they couldn’t even pull that off in “90210.”
Elsewhere, Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are re-teaming for the first time since 1999’s Fight Club, and I really can’t imagine a better scenario than putting those two together, if only for the potential DVD commentary. They’ve even managed to secure a damn fine director, Kevin MacDonald (The Last King of Scotland, for the film, called State of Play, which is based on the acclaimed six-hour British miniseries. According to the trades, Norton will play a congressman whose speedy political rise is threatened by an investigation into the death of his mistress. Pitt plays a politician-turned-journalist whose relationship with the congressman is compromised when he oversees his newspaper’s investigation into the murder and develops a relationship with the politician’s estranged wife. Of course, I already know how it ends: The politician and journalist are actually the same person and they blow up a city while The Pixies play in the background. Meatloaf will play the estranged wife.
Warner Brothers is bringing a live-action version of Michael Bond’s Paddington Bear to the big screen. Hamish McColl, who wrote the script for Mr. Bean’s Holiday will adapt, while David Heyman — the man behind the Potter films — will produce. Meanwhile, I have my own script in the works. It will star Hamish McColl, David Heyman, and a collection of Warner Brother’s executives, all of whom will have their skin scalded with hot cocoa before being drowned in a huge vat of marmalade. Eli Roth will direct.
The coolest trade news this week involves Ricky Gervais, who is co-directing, co-writing, and starring in This Side of Truth, a high-concept flick tailor-made for Gervais’ talents. Seriously. Set in a contemporary world where no one has ever told a lie, and the actors are mere readers who recite factual stories, Gervais will play an actor who is about to lose his job when he decides to tell the first ever lie. And, once he becomes a fibber, he also becomes the greatest storyteller in the world. It’s kind of can’t miss for Gervais. It will be one of the funniest, smartest movies of 2009. Thirty-three people will see it. Twenty-nine will be Pajiba readers.
Updating news about the big-screen adaptation of Sex and the City, Jennifer Hudson has been cast to play an assistant to Sarah Jessica Parker’s Carrie Bradshaw. Hudson will not win an Oscar for the role, which will be her last before embarking on a career as a VH1 reality-show celebrity. Look for her next year as one of Flava Flav’s female suitors.
I’m not sure why none of us have yet bothered to review Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer-Prizing winning The Road yet, but — expectedly when a book is so well received by both critics and audiences — there will be a movie made from it. Joe Penhall will write the script, which concerns a father and son living in post-apocalyptic America, who must travel cross country and fight off bands of cannibals. It’s a pretty exciting project for a pretty bleak story, and reports out this week suggest that the producers are talking to Viggo Mortenson to star as the father. John Hillcoat (The Proposition) is attached to direct.
On DVD this week, as much as I loved Grindhouse, I’m kind of miffed that the Weinsteins, who thought it was such a brilliant idea to bring us the double feature, have now decided to split Death Proof and Planet Terror into individual “two-disc special editions.” Granted, both are director’s cuts, but do we really need full-on, self-fellating versions? Jesus: Don’t blame those who liked the movie enough to see it in theaters for the box-office failure by charging us more for the set, you asslicks. Anyway, Death Proof will be released today, though there’s still no word on Planet Death’s release. Meanwhile, Gracie, Severance, The Condemned and We Are Marshall will also hit shelves today.
Finally, in the trailer watch: Mark Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, and Terry George, director of Hotel Rwanda, bring you Reservation Road. You can bet your ass that someone is walking away with an Oscar, goddamnit. Check it out, and then catch your breath before going back to your spreadsheets.
Oh, and before I forget: We finally picked a winner of our Supermovie Fantasy Guide of a few weeks ago. There were quite a few gems, but the decision came down to two choices: Ms. Parker, who envisioned Jem, the live-action musical directed by Baz Luhrman and starring Christina Aquilera and Justin’s hilariously sell-out ultimate action movie directed by Joo Woo, written by Michael Mann, and starring Gary Oldman, Eddie Murphy, and Alan Rickman. All things being equal, we decided to award the T-Shirt to Justin, who eeks out the win by presenting the best movie title of all time: Die or I’ll Kill You. Thanks to all who played.
Comments
Posted by: Ms. Parker at September 18, 2007 9:20 AM
Ooooh...So close. Even I nearly happy'ed myself to death when reading Justin's idea so it's a big thing just to have come in second place to such a great fantasy.
On another topic-I have pals who got to check out 'Reservation Road' during TIFF last week who have done nothing but rave ever since. Personally for me-this film had me at Mark Ruffalo and Joaquim Phoenix. They could have reused the script to 'I Know Who Killed Me' and I would still watch it. I'd feel diry...but I'd watch.