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Miley Gets a Franchise! Miley Gets a Franchise!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (36)



miley-cyrus-4.jpg

Maybe one of the most overlooked, under-appreciated actresses of the last five years is finally getting the movie franchise she deserves. I don’t know if any of you have heard of Miley Cyrus, but she’s the daughter of a country singer of little note back in the ’90s. The actress — who is in a long-running television show aimed at teenagers called “Hannah Montana” — hasn’t had much big-screen work yet, save for a concert film last year. but I had the opportunity to see her in a little gem called The Last Song with Greg Kinnear earlier this year. It’s based on one of those sweet, not-at-all cloying Nicholas Sparks novels, and when Miley Cyrus’ dad unexpectedly died of cancer at the end of the movie, I was stunned at the emotive power of Cyrus. This girl is going places!

Anyway, THR is reporting that Hollywood may be catching on to her talent, as she is set to star in the paranormal thriller called Wake, which is based on a young-adult novel written by Lisa McMann. Christopher Landon (Disturbia) has been assigned the task of adapting the movie for the screen.

But the really good news is this: Wake is part of a trilogy of books, and assuming that the rest of America comes around to the same conclusion as I have about this obscure Disney princess — that she’s a stunning revelation! — then there’s a possibility that we’ll get to see two more entries in the franchise. I know! Squee, right?!

If you are not familiar with Wake, the novel is about “a 17-year-old girl named Janie with the unwanted ability to become sucked into people’s dreams. Not surprisingly, she sees things she would rather not see. But when she gets pulled into a terrible nightmare, Janie dangerously goes from mere witness to participant.” Wow! That’s dark, gritty territory, but I’m absolutely certain that Cyrus is up to the challenge. I’m looking forward to Wake’s eventual release, and I expect Oscar gold in Cyrus’ future.

Also, most of you probably don’t know this, but Miley Cyrus has been trying her hand at pop music, too. Pretty edgy stuff, and it’s stripped down folksy stuff, which allows us to truly appreciate the beautiful voice that God has given her. Check out her latest:









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Comments

Forty-five comments shitting on a teenager in 3 . . . 2 . . .

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 17, 2010 11:34 AM

200 people getting aroused by Tracer's comment in 3...2...

Posted by: Jim Doggie at June 17, 2010 11:38 AM

I don't appreciate your brand of humor, sir. Your sly satire points to a grim reality. I don't need any more misery in my life.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 17, 2010 11:38 AM

Yikes! A 17 year old girl getting sucked into dreams? Umm, you know, guys dream about crazy stuff and . . . uhh . . . that could get weird depending upon how much control said dreamwalker has when entering said dreamstate . . . err . . . I think I'll stop now.

Posted by: Kballs at June 17, 2010 11:42 AM

Wake me up when she decides to do something interesting, like sleep with the Memphis Grizzlies roster in alphabetical order.

Posted by: Confucius Jackson at June 17, 2010 11:43 AM

Dustin, you are a BAD DOG!

Posted by: Alison Brie at June 17, 2010 11:51 AM

I don't understand the appeal of this no-talent, shovel faced, little hag.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at June 17, 2010 11:59 AM

Hey look on the bright side, at least the song she chose to butcher was "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" instead of something that was actually, you know, not shit the first time around.

Posted by: Irving Washington at June 17, 2010 11:59 AM

I am once again reminded that every absurd idea that Hollywood churns out was done before on Buffy. Done better, too.

Posted by: cleverpeach at June 17, 2010 12:04 PM

I have a theory that Dustin's not so subtle brand of sarcasm is done so as to confuse Miley supporters.

Posted by: Encore Entertainment at June 17, 2010 12:12 PM

By all means, let the lass have at the film versions of Nicholas Sparks stories and any other books by folks I don't know or care about. But if she ever gets near one of my treasured favorites I will punch her in the babymaker.

Posted by: dlh at June 17, 2010 12:15 PM

So Miley Cyrus is Emperor Jagang? That's pretty good casting if you ask me.

Posted by: janetfaust at June 17, 2010 12:19 PM

You know, I had been blissfully ignorant of Miley's musical stylings, until this weekend, when a friend did an excellent parody of Party in the USA (or whatever the title of that song is). Pretty damn catchy, that tune is.

Posted by: tamatha at June 17, 2010 12:19 PM

Phew. I was worried with Twilight rampaging towards the fifth film there wouldn't be a new horror-ish series for tweens that would drive me insane. Thanks, Miley.

Posted by: Robert at June 17, 2010 12:21 PM

What sarcasm?

Posted by: Joker at June 17, 2010 12:24 PM

Tracer is the scat man.
Bwee dop bop ba dop bop.

Posted by: stopthemadness at June 17, 2010 12:25 PM

EE is won. Tracer and Jim Doggie take the victory.

Posted by: superasente at June 17, 2010 12:38 PM

This is why Brett had a brain aneurysm. How could you not listends['f;lfmnj ;dfrj[dsaf[''jsd'L'jsad911!

Posted by: admin at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM

Blurp eeep nort shit shtee sinbs for shut, Snort flub doober durdy tweenage hoer.

Posted by: Brett Michaels at June 17, 2010 1:37 PM

So Miley Cyrus is going to play Freddie Kruger?

Posted by: BWeaves at June 17, 2010 1:49 PM

Dustin, you're great.

"Party in the USA" is NOT a catchy tune. Listening to it made me feel like everything dear to me was being ripped away. Though that might have been more because of the lyrics than the tune.

Posted by: Corntree at June 17, 2010 3:03 PM

My longest streak for having "Party in the USA" stuck in my head is two and a half months. That song is like Japanese Basket Grass -- it comes over as the cheaper equivalent of bubble wrap in a box of toys and before you know it, every low-lying plant in a 300 mile radius has been replaced with the stuff.

Damn, I hate invasive species.

Posted by: esme at June 17, 2010 4:24 PM

I have said it before but she would make a killer Gizmo if Gremlins gets the reboot treatment.

Posted by: schrome at June 17, 2010 5:07 PM

If you put one foot on New York soil,
And the other Ontario way,
HEY-a-YEAH, a-YAY-yay -
You're partly in the U.S.A...

Posted by: a disturbingly large amount of poo at June 17, 2010 5:13 PM

Miley WHO!?!?!

She done any porn?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 17, 2010 5:47 PM

I started reading this and then realized I didn't give a shit.

Posted by: greer at June 17, 2010 6:02 PM

BarbadoSlim

You are familiar with the law that for anything to exist, there must be porn involving it somewhere?

We are reading an article about Miley Cyrus, therefore she exists...

ERGO...

Posted by: Camilla at June 17, 2010 6:36 PM

Now that is the way satire is done. Series to the end, never once acknowledging if you are in on the joke or part of the problem. Great column.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at June 17, 2010 9:13 PM

stopthemadness, bwah.

Posted by: Salieri2 at June 17, 2010 10:53 PM

Are we up to 45 yet?

Posted by: , at June 18, 2010 1:20 AM

Yet?

Posted by: , at June 18, 2010 1:21 AM

How about now?

(Help me out here, people.)

Posted by: , at June 18, 2010 1:21 AM

Nepotism: When celebrities pimp out their fame-whoring offspring in the hopes of reliving their own glory days while reaping financial gain.

If I had left the house clad like Miley, my father would've founded the first Lutheran nunnery only to wall me up inside while my Catholic mum recited rosaries and arranged for an excorcism.

Posted by: cinekat at June 18, 2010 3:36 AM

This is why Brett had a brain aneurysm.

Nope. Don't think so.

I'm assuming he gave his blessing, because the two (Cyrus and Michaels) are teaming-up to perform in Central Park this morning (to be televised on "Good Morning America" on ABC).

Or maybe he's doing it because he wants to have another brain blow-out.

Posted by: Rykker at June 18, 2010 3:53 AM

Funny, I was just talking about her last night. Rather, I was talking about her father - I'd said that "Achy Breaky Heart" was the second-worst thing that Billy Ray Cyrus had inflicted on us.

"So what's the first?"

"Miley Cyrus."

...I may have been somewhat inebriated at the time, but the point still stands.

At any rate, call me when she turns 18. If she's already 18, call me when she's on the cover of Playboy.

Posted by: Inferno at June 20, 2010 3:54 PM

I seen her on the Graham Norton show in the UK and was impressed that she is not just "another bimbo actress" Can hold her own and good luck to the girl, some decent scripts her way and we will find out whether she cuts the mustard or not.

Posted by: UK Business Franchises at July 2, 2010 4:32 AM


















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