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Mickey Rourke Wrestles and Jason Mewes Fights with Gary Coleman

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (51)



mews.jpg

It was the kind of day where we had to run with posts that, on most days, may have ended up here in the end-of-day round-up, which means that the missed trade items today are real barrel scrapings. Hey! I think that’s what we’ll start calling the last post of the day: “Barrel Scrapings.”

The first item: Mike Newell (Pushing Tin, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) is set to direct The Box of Delight, a movie adtaped from a 1930’s novel based on a boy with a magic box that allows him to travel through time. This will be the third adaptation of Box of Delights, following a radio adaptation 40 or 50 years ago, and a 1984 television adaptation on the BBC. Mike Newell is currently wrapping up Prince of Persia with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Elsewhere, the George Lucas produced Red Tails, a movie about the WWII Tuskegee airmen — the first African-American fighter pilots — has put together its cast. Leading the way are Bryan Cranston, Terrence Howard, and Cuba Gooding, Jr., which unfortunately solidifies in my mind the notion that Terrence Howard’s career is taking a turn toward the Cuba. Television director Anthony Hemingway (“True Blood,” “Heroes”) is set to direct. Method Man and Nate Parker are also among the cast members.

In other news, Cinemablend is reporting that Jason Mewes has signed onto The Science of Cool, which also stars Mischa Barton. The film is about two nerds who stumble onto a formula that turns them into studs. Mewes will play a gym teacher that torments the nerds. Barton will play the love interest, who is transformed by the experiment. Weird Science much? Mewes is making the most of his second chance — he’s got nine projects on the horizon. Unfortunately, they all look like B-movies, including that Midgets vs. Mascots flick with Gary Coleman. It pays the bills, I suppose.

Someone gave Rob Schneider another job; he’ll be playing a daredevil helicopter pilot in You May not Kiss the Bride, which also stars Katherine McPhee and Mena Suvari. I’d give you the plot details, but I don’t want to make anyone’s brain bleed. It’s only Monday. We need you the rest of the week.

In equally depressing news, a remake of the 1978 flick, Ice Castles, is currently being filmed in Nova Scotia. Figure skater Taylor Firth will play the starring role. I have no idea who that is.

Finally, Mickey Rourke showed up in a wrestling ring last night for Wrestlemania and basically demonstrated why he should’ve never been given a second chance at his career.









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Comments

Hoooooooooooo, hooooo-hooooooo, hoooooo-hooooooo

You told me, I see you rise
But, it always, falls
I see you come, I see you go

You say, "All things pass, into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong, I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

You told me, I've seen it all before
I've Been there,
I've seen my hopes and dreams a-lying on the ground

I've seen the sky, just begin to fall
And you say, "All things pass, into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong, I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to meeeeeeeeee?

Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying, lying, lying over yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 8:34 PM

Why do you think Rourke is so much more insufferable than motherfucking Sean Penn? Yes, there's no denying that Penn is one of the best actors of any generation, and he deserved both his Oscars, but he's such an insufferable asshole. He's way worse than Rourke. It's one of those times where I have to admit that the likes of Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reily are right. Maybe it's just the Irish in me.

Posted by: George at April 6, 2009 8:43 PM

Wait! Cuba Gooding, Jr. was already in a movie about the Tuskeegee airmen! Will he play the same character? Cuz that would be fucking awesome.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at April 6, 2009 8:44 PM

George, while I will admit that Penn is an insufferable asshole, at least his insufferable asshole-ness occasionally benefits other people. Yes the pictures of him pulling people out of the water after Katrina reeked of publicity bull shit, but at least he was getting people out of the goddamned water. Rouke going on Wrestlemania benefits no one but himself, and even that's questionable.

Never agree with Glenn Beck; there is something untethered in that man's mind and I don't want to be around when it finally breaks free.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 6, 2009 8:49 PM

"...which also stars Katherine McPhee and Mena Suvari. I’d give you the plot details, but I don’t want to make anyone’s brain bleed. It’s only Monday. We need you the rest of the week....."

-------------------------------------------------

*throws on the drink coaster pile*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 8:50 PM

In equally depressing news, a remake of the 1978 flick, Ice Castles, is currently being filmed in Nova Scotia

NO NO NO NONONONONONO! Lalalala, I can't hear you.

"Please. Don't let this feeling end.
It might not come again and I want to re-member
How it feels to touch you. I can feel SO much.
Since I found yooooouuuuu
Looking through the eyes of looooooove...."

NO No No NONONONONONO! Lalalala, I can't hear you.

Hey, whatever happened to Lynn Holly Johnson though?

Posted by: Lainey at April 6, 2009 8:51 PM

Though I enjoyed Method Man in “The Wire,” do we really need to see him in a movie about the Tuskegee airmen? Enough with the rappers already.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 8:57 PM

Though I enjoyed Method Man in “The Wire,” do we really need to see him in a movie about the Tuskegee airmen?
Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 8:57 PM
-----------------------------------------------

"As the world turns he spreads like germ warfare..."


:)

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 9:03 PM

George if you agree with Beck and Orally so much, why waste your time in this bastion of liberalism? Why aren’t you out brainwashing the ignorant into believing that ‘Bama is going to take their guns away?

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:05 PM

Today I had an epiphany, I comment on entirely to many things thereby lessening the impact that my words have on certain threads. Though I’m not leaving pajiba, I will be less visible in the comment sections. I think that by judiciously making comments on selective threads my words will have a greater impact.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:15 PM

In other words, Pookie, you aren't getting enough attention?

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at April 6, 2009 9:19 PM

yeah genny but he drawn them back right after,
I bet he has the angel of death complex

Posted by: rio at April 6, 2009 9:23 PM

" This sentimental motherfucker just cost us money."

Damn, I miss the Wire.

Posted by: Jesus Tralfaz at April 6, 2009 9:26 PM

Now you see what unpleasantness I have to deal with on a daily basis ladies and gentlemen? Sometimes I try to walk the same path as Billy Jack, I try to be peaceful and serene, but some of you want “War Pookie.” lateformyfuneral I’m going to hold my tongue and not resort to my barbarous ways, there‘s nothing here for you, move along.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:28 PM

Two comments in 13 minutes isn't very judicious, Pookeroo. Try shutting up for real, then we'll be impressed.

Posted by: I Love Beets at April 6, 2009 9:31 PM

That's right, Pookie, make love, not war.

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at April 6, 2009 9:32 PM

Who the fuck are you, my biographer?

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:34 PM

Hmm, I actually know Luther Smith of the Airmen. Very nice guy, especially to a kid whom had know idea what he did or why it was so special.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at April 6, 2009 9:34 PM

There you go with the barbarous ways again. You don't even listen to yourself. You can't do it, can you? You simply CAN'T HELP YOURSELF.

You know you're gonna post a response to this. Like a moth to a flame.

Posted by: I Love Beets at April 6, 2009 9:43 PM

Dangit, Pookie, that made me laugh out loud.

Posted by: Kolby at April 6, 2009 9:44 PM

Beets, you seem like a fair minded and honorable person, can you please refrain from attacking me?

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:46 PM

Posted by: I Love Beets at April 6, 2009 9:31 PM


---------------------------------------------

You're not impressing me with your judgment either friend. The way I read you, your shtick is to make a name for yourself as his nemesis.

If that's what your going for? More power to ya' if it isn't then, you might need a hobby.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 9:50 PM

I wonder what Mewes is spending his money on now that he's not on heroin.

Posted by: Lucas at April 6, 2009 9:57 PM

Ok Beets, now it's your turn to breakdance and show us your moves.

* Hey Phil, cue Planet Rock*

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:58 PM

The film is about two nerds who stumble onto a formula that turns them into studs...Weird Science much?

That's not Weird Science, Dustin, it's Zapped.

Posted by: totally not Anna von Beaverplatz at all at April 6, 2009 10:01 PM

Well Genny, it's not Penn's publicity stunts that bothers me, it's the Hugo Chavez thing that bothers me. Rourke may be looking out only for himself, but at least he's not been defending a maniacal dictator that's responsible for setting his own country back decades. Just because he opposed the asshole who ran his own country into the ground doesn't mean it cancels out.

And sometimes, loons take correct positions. O'Reily, Beck, and much any nut who hates Sean Penn is right. Sometimes, they don't handle it the right way, like with O'Reily's boycott, which will single handedly increase ticket sales, but it's still true.

Oddly enough, even though I should, I don't actively hate Glenn Beck. He's no different from any other pundit, and even if I actively went out to hate him, I wouldn't hate him nearly as much as Hannity, Olberman, Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Limbaugh, or even that smug prick Allan Colmes. God I hate that pushover.

Besides, he seems to be at O'Reily's level in terms of punditness. He's actually aware that people hate him, and he's put it on the back of his book in quotes. Something about that makes him not at the level of the above pricks I mentioned.

Now who here thinks I'm wrong. HOLY SHIT! PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORKS!

Posted by: George at April 6, 2009 10:02 PM

Someone gave Rob Schneider another job; he’ll be playing a daredevil helicopter pilot in You May not Kiss the Bride, which also stars Katherine...

Please be Heigl, Please be Heigl, Please be Heigl

...McPhee and Mena Suvari.

Awww, dammit.

Posted by: branded at April 6, 2009 10:03 PM

* Hey Phil, cue Planet Rock*

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:58 PM

-------------------------------------------------

STFU


My point, is that I'll be damned if this is gonna turn into The Superficial/D-Listed/Perez where we are gonna have some repetitive assfuckery where posters just post to slam on somebody.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 10:04 PM

Damn BSlim, you are one sexy man when you get all angry and shit.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 10:06 PM

.... possibly with a touch of Love Potion Number 9.

Posted by: totally not Anna von Beaverplatz at all at April 6, 2009 10:07 PM

let's keep it Pajiba is what I'm sayin'...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 10:09 PM

*Pookie licks his finger and touches BSlim...sssssssss

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 10:09 PM

Ok Beets, now it's your turn to breakdance and show us your moves.
* Hey Phil, cue Planet Rock*
Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 9:58 PM

thus illustrating why moderated comments aren't such a bad idea.

Posted by: matty blue at April 6, 2009 10:10 PM

You must be a female matty blue, I can sense the lack of humor in you.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 10:13 PM

Haahahaha, folks, I sincerely hope you ain't trying to push some hidden agenda. You've got a good thing here, that has lasted for years, without modding. If that's what you want? Fiiiiiiiiiiine I've seen forums come and go, forums that had communities that seemed to be tighter knit than this one. Go ahead, fuck it up.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 10:15 PM

Rowles? April's Fool my ass, your experiment, is going south, dude.

the ball's in your court.

Good night.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 6, 2009 10:18 PM

Theme from Ice Castles

LOOKING THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE (Melissa Manchester)

Please, don't let this feeling end,
It's ev'rything I am,
Ev'rything I wanna be;
I can see what's mine now,
Finding out what's true,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love

Now I can take the time,
I can see my life
As it comes on shining now;
Reachin' out to touch you,
I can feel so much,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.

And now I do believe,
That even in a storm, we'll find some light;
Knowin' you're beside me,
I'm alright.

Please, don't let this feelin' end,
It might not come again;
And I want to remember
How it feels to touch you;
How I feel so much,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.

Good luck avoiding that intracerebral hemorrhage now.

Posted by: OscarTamerz at April 6, 2009 10:20 PM

But does the dog die?

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2009 10:21 PM

I hope you are enjoying this Rowles. You and your fake hijackings and safe spaces.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 10:22 PM

This is the first time in my adult life that I'm not proud to be a member of pajiba.

Posted by: Pookie at April 6, 2009 10:26 PM

George, hence my lifelong policy of never consulting actors, musicians, or television personalities about anything other than acting, music and television respectively. Just cause someone can act or play music real good doesn't mean they have a valid point of view on global politics.

And they only have power if you listen to them. My only exposure to most of the people you listed comes second hand through The Colbert Report or articles indignant articles written as though the author is sputtering in rage at what the individual in question said. It's like the giant mascot monsters in The Simpsons. Just don't look, just don't look.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 6, 2009 10:36 PM

OscarTamerz, it's burned into my brain. BURNED. My eight year-old self used to sing it at the top of my lungs day in and day out, while I roller skated in the garage. Yes, I fancied myself the next Lexi Winston.

Great. Now it's on a loop...

Posted by: Lainey at April 6, 2009 10:39 PM

Would you fuck me? I'D fuck me. I'd fuck me hard!

It puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

The nastiest villain of all time...made funnier thanks to Kevin Smith and Jay Mewes.

Posted by: Fredo at April 6, 2009 10:47 PM

omg bslim! i LOVE q lazarus!

Posted by: gp at April 6, 2009 11:41 PM

Glenn Beck. Didn't he have asshole surgery?

Posted by: illies at April 6, 2009 11:55 PM

Why DO producers keep hiring Rob Schneider? Is there a community of Schneiderphiles, bottle of lotion in hand, ready to rub one out to yet another movie where he fumbles about, regrettably exposes his ass on camera, and somehow, someway ends up with the hot girl at the end of the movie, LIKE THAT WOULD EVER FUCKING HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE?

Why can't Hollywood just let him go the way of Pauly Shore? Why? Are we just desperately clinging on to the hope that he's gonna shout out "You can do it!" or note that someone is "makin' cop-iiiies"? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Then again, I've seen The Hot Chick a lot. A lot. I blame my undying love for Rachel McAdams and Anna Faris. And for body-swapping movies.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at April 7, 2009 12:38 AM

Mewes could make a living on reprising that role in every other movie he's ever in.

Posted by: admin at April 7, 2009 12:51 AM

Say what you will about Penn, his Oscar speech was worth everything. And Milk. OMG, MILK WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!! Not that The Wrestler wasn't. But Milk was so much better. And Penn never went on record defending W, something Rourke can never say.

Posted by: ChristianH at April 7, 2009 1:35 AM

Hoo boy - I have no idea what all that farrago was all about in the comments section! Anyway, that Mickey Rourke footage was freaking hilarious, thanks.

Posted by: Caspar at April 7, 2009 7:43 AM

I saw Schneider in an interview recently and he wasn't doing his schtick. I thought he was actually funny and warm and interesting. Maybe he just has lots of friends in the industry who want him to succeed. Or the Stonecutters made him a star. One or the other.

Posted by: king at April 7, 2009 10:17 AM

The Box of Delight is now my favorite euphemism.

Posted by: Jeni at April 7, 2009 12:47 PM


















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