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The Mickey Rourke Comeback Express Continues On

By | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (45)

Mickey-Rourke102.jpg

I, like many of you, have been steadily impressed with the work of Mickey Rourke as of late. He was phenomenal in Sin City, and was damn perfect in The Wrestler. But, there are limits. There are lines that should not be crossed.

He just crossed one with me.

Let’s be honest - Rourke is not the prettiest man on the planet. I think it is safe to say that he won’t be creaming Dustin’s pants with his abs anytime soon. And that worked for him - in the aforementioned movies. In those films, he had to have a world-beaten kisser to sell the role. But it isn’t going to work in Iron Man 2.

That’s right. It is official. Mickey Rourke will be in the sequel. I am….not enthusiastic about this.

Originally, Rourke said he wouldn’t be able to do it, and with the Oscar buzz he had and his dog dying, we were inclined to believe him. But then came the great equalizer: money. David Unger, Rourke’s agent (and part-time sorcerer, apparently), got the studio to agree to a bump up in pay for Rourke to be in the film.

He will be playing Whiplash, one of the Russian characters in the film. Whiplash, at least in the comics, wields deadly titanium whips that can act like tentacles, or stiffen to become vaulting poles. I am still not sure why the character is being used, but okay then.

Oh, before I forget, Scarlett Johansson is taking over the Black Widow role (thanks, Donut) from Emily Blunt. My feelings on this are…mixed.

Mixed meaning the unrepentant nerd in me fully acknowledges that Johansson isn’t the most skilled actress and that she probably won’t do well in the role (my pick: Famke Janssen, naturally), but the constantly-horny male that is the rest of me can only think of her in a leather jumpsuit before blacking out for a few seconds. Don’t you dare judge me, you fascists.

And now I am seeing both Scarlett and Famke in skintight leather. Together. And…okay then. Good night.

*collapses to floor*









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Comments

It's Vermillion day and nobody told me! I would have worn my cape.

Posted by: admin at March 13, 2009 12:38 PM

Don't you mean Black Widow role?

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 13, 2009 12:41 PM

Honestly, I'm more bothered by the addition of the Scarlet Witch, regardless of who's playing her. We're seriously going to somehow incorporate magic? A character who is imbued with magical energy, who can control probability/alter reality the daughter of Magneto?

I'm not feeling it.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 12:41 PM

"Don't you mean Black Widow role?"

Oh. In that case, ignore my previous rant. Black Widow is an excellent idea.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 12:43 PM

I agree. Johnasson is not ideal for that role. At all. Famke would be perfect. Emily Blunt would have been a much better choice, too, if that had worked out. Johansson is quickly becoming like Alba: omni-present in comic book fair and always poorly cast.

As for Mickey Rourke as Whiplash... I'm fine with it. I have no feelings one way or the other towards the character. While perfectly suited for his role in Sin City and The Wrestler, I think he's earned the opportunity to try something a little different.

Jeff Bridges didn't blow me away as the villian in the first film, so there's room for improvement.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 13, 2009 12:45 PM

Yeah, sorry about that goof. I blame the skintight leather.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 13, 2009 12:46 PM

Yeah, sorry about that goof. I blame the skintight leather.

What you wear is your own business, V, but I doubt that it meets the criteria for business casual Fridays. That's more of a Pajiba After Hours outfit.

Posted by: branded at March 13, 2009 12:53 PM

V, I know we’ve had our issues in the past, but I’m genuinely happy that Rowles has finally given a brother some work up in this piece. Now don’t blow it, you need to represent. I would hope you find the time to give a shout out to all the brothers on lock down.

Posted by: Pookie at March 13, 2009 12:54 PM

I agree that Scarlett is a bad idea for casting, but Famke would be kind of weird, what with her playing a major character (poorly, for the most part, but nother fault) in another Marvel franchise. I'd suggest Olga whatserface from Quantum of Solace, or... I dunno. Some other badass chick. Milla Jovovich?

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 12:55 PM

Don't forget to pour one out for the homies.

Posted by: admin at March 13, 2009 12:55 PM

HEY! Pookie, you jackass. Vermillion ain't the only brother in these parts, bud.

Recognize my oreo powers.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 1:00 PM

That would be for the dead homies admin. The rule is when a homie is alive he or she gets a shout out, but if said homie is no longer with us then he or she gets a pour out.

Posted by: Pookie at March 13, 2009 1:04 PM

Milla Jovovich?

Oh hells yeah!

By the way TK, I don't like thinking about your creamy centre. I just threw up a little.

Posted by: admin at March 13, 2009 1:05 PM

See, that's why I come here, to learn about different cultures.

Rourke will be fine in Iron Man 2. It'll be so heavily CG'd that they'll just give him a new face, then Dustin's panties will get creamy.

Posted by: admin at March 13, 2009 1:07 PM

Hey everybody look! It's TK, the author of one of the most insipid music columns in the history of music and columns, but enough of that. I’m sorry if I left you out of the discussion my good man.

Posted by: Pookie at March 13, 2009 1:10 PM

Well, it's actually a synthetic fabric.

What's Franka Potente up to these days? That wouldn't be bad casting.

I don't mind Scarlett though so....whatever.

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 1:10 PM

Aw, Pooks, stop flirting. It's embarrassing.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 1:15 PM

Milla Jovovich? As Black Widow? Yeah I can see that.

And now I must black out again. I hate you, you bas- *thud*

Posted by: Vermillion at March 13, 2009 1:25 PM

I just wish that if they are going to cast good actors (i.e. Downey Jr. and Rourke) in comic book films, they would cast women on equal footing. Why do the women always have to be cast as eye candy? And even if they try to cast a decent actress, she ends up being one dimensional, dummed down or cast only in the femme fatale light.

Posted by: Cindy at March 13, 2009 1:33 PM

I'm more bothered by the addition of the Scarlet Witch

What. No. What. What?

Posted by: twig at March 13, 2009 1:41 PM

Scarlett Johansson over Emily Blunt. Riiiight. I'm just gonna go full Psychic Friends and post what will certainly be my comment when this movie comes out:

Iron Man 2 was fucking excellent. Mickey Rourke was BADASS. RDJ and Don Cheadle sharing the screen practically incinerated my panties. The only weak link was Scarlett's actressin'. She did fill out that costume, though. Too bad she had to speak.

If only I could parlay my gifts to lottery numbers...

Posted by: jM at March 13, 2009 2:02 PM

27, 42, 18, 93, and 56. Bonus number: 10

Posted by: Mike R. at March 13, 2009 2:09 PM

So V, why do you keep passing out from your fantasies.

Too much blood rush from the big head to the (apparently) not-so-little head?

Inquiring minds....

Posted by: Drake at March 13, 2009 2:18 PM

Sorry for the confusion, Twig. There's no Scarlet Witch - that's a reference to a little error in the original draft of the post.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 2:18 PM

69 is my favorite number, but most if not all lotteries don’t go that high.

Posted by: Pookie at March 13, 2009 2:22 PM

OK, so I know nothing about Iron Man or the next movie or anything, but I still don't get why you don't like Rourke getting cast.

He's...not pretty enough to be a villain? I think with that face he'd be perfect to scare the children and play a convincing bad guy (not like what's-his-name in Fantastic Four), specially one that sounds so badass.

Ah, so that is how you do that in-comment response. Noted.

It isn't just the looks. My issue is that I can't see how Rourke would really fit into the movie. Him as Whiplash (technically Blacklash) seems like a square peg in a round hole. Kinda like his role in Once Upon A Time In Mexico. He wasn't horrible or anything, just kinda....pointless. -V.

Posted by: figgy at March 13, 2009 2:26 PM

Oh, thanks TK. Ever since the "Emma Frost in Wolverine" thing, I've been a little punchy.

Posted by: twig at March 13, 2009 2:27 PM

Yeah, I don't blame you.

[shakes head in bewilderment]

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 2:58 PM

Don't forget Cyclops and Gambit in Wolverine, twig.

We shall never forget.

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 3:11 PM

Ugh. Stop reminding me.

Posted by: TK at March 13, 2009 3:21 PM

Not to cast dispersions on an unknown actor but shouldn't Emma Frost look a bit more like Sydney Moon? Or Scarlett Johansson?

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 3:24 PM

I thought the character Whiplash in the movie was the name change they were applying to the Crimson Dynamo. If that is the case it is gonna be two armored suits battling, pretty cool I guess. I'd much rather see Ironman battle a sober Gary Busey or a drunk Nick Nolte. Los Angeles would be destroyed.

Posted by: Gamal at March 13, 2009 4:27 PM

I always thought Nicole Kidman would make a good Emma Frost. I mean shit she's practically perfect, if you think about it. I'm not even being facetious, though I easily could be.

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 4:55 PM

Okay so I'm being a lot facetious.

Nyah nyah.

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 4:56 PM

Am I the only one with a case of happy-pants over the prospect of Emily Blunt in the skin tight (who cares what the material is) bodysuit?

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at March 13, 2009 5:33 PM

she's practically perfect, if you think about it.

Well, it worked for me in "The Golden Compass".

Am I the only one with a case of happy-pants over the prospect of Emily Blunt in the skin tight (who cares what the material is) bodysuit?

She's not doing it, Scarlett Johansson is.

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 5:42 PM

seriously? mickey rourke is playing fin fang foom?
that's awesome!!!

Posted by: gp at March 13, 2009 5:57 PM

seriously? mickey rourke is playing fin fang foom?

That got some impolite cackling from me just now.

Can he wear that diaper from NEXTWAVE too?

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 7:14 PM

I like it. I seem to remember a lot of folks being miffed by casting Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Stark. But that worked out beautifully. Now I am not saying that Rourke has Downey's skill but he certainly has a lot of charisma and if harnessed and channeled properly lead to could give an entertaining performance. So I ask that we have a little faith.

Posted by: Mr.West at March 13, 2009 10:27 PM

God I loved NEXTWAVE.

Posted by: Mr.West at March 13, 2009 10:28 PM

Amen, Cindy.

Posted by: Melissa at March 13, 2009 11:28 PM

Why is it that I want to hate ScarJo so much but wind up loving the movies she's in (Match Point, Black Dahlia, Vicky Christina Barcelona)?

There's just something about her I don't trust.

Well, at least I can still hate her cd. That was pure shit, personified.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 13, 2009 11:41 PM

Why is it that I want to hate ScarJo so much but wind up loving the movies she's in (Match Point, Black Dahlia, Vicky Christina Barcelona)?

Two reasons, they even impact the gay community.

Posted by: admin at March 14, 2009 12:34 AM

Mickey Rourke is going to blow you away with what he does in Iron Man 2. I would bet your snarkiness on it. Pretty ain't nothing.

Posted by: Barbara at March 14, 2009 12:38 AM

i predict that Mickey Rourke will be a friggin great villain

Posted by: coffee maker at March 22, 2009 3:39 AM