Pajiba

Oh for fuck sakes.

Give it a rest already! I loved Michael Jackson before he went full wacko, but seriously, is he even cold yet? Jeebus wept. The really sick thing? Just as he will be this years best selling freakin' artist (when was the last time he cut an album, when?, this movie will make a gazillion dollars. Sick and twisted.

Oh yeah, this'll just be incredibly entertaining. A few hours of a middle-aged elf-man trying to recapture the glory days by desperately trying to get into shape. Screams popcorn blockbuster. It'll be a smash hit. The next Pirates. Not sad and uncomfortable at all. I just can't wait to spend ten dollars and sit in a dark room with a bunch of strangers, watching this epic benchmark of modern cinema on the ol' big screen. I'm very happy this is coming into existence.

I gotta go shower, get some of this sarcasm off me.

chayes, step away from the shower. That stank smelled good.

Oh, wonderful. Yet another example of how people will bleed the corpse of a celebrity for every last scrap of meat they can get. They own you from the second you become famous to years after you're dead.

Now kids. Who wants to become a celebrity?

Listen up folks, Sony made a steal by ONLY having to pay 50 goddamn million dollars. This is Michael motherfuckin’ Jackson, this ain’t no newly found footage of the fuckin’ Beatles or newly discovered recordings of Elvis that Sony is trying to sell. This is the goddamn king, Sony is going to make Pablo Escobar type money. My delight is that once again the public will show all those fuckin’ high minded music critics that love sniffing the Beatles sack that they could care less about all the shit that has been printed about Michael Jackson.

As soon as I heard a news report mention in passing that Jackson's rehearsals for his last tour were being filmed with HD cameras, I knew this was only a matter of time.

By the way, most of you guys are Americans, right? Did you hear much about Jade Goody's death over there? Assuming you didn't, she was a celebretard from one of the earlier seasons of our version of Big Brother. She basically got famous for being unbelievably thick-headed - like, colossally pig-ignorant. Since the British public go apeshit over any 'relatable' dumbshit the papparazzi chooses to plaster all over The Sun, she soon became a 'national treasure'. She even had spin-off TV series' of her own - watch her run a beauty parlour in Jade's Salon! It probably bears mentioning at this point that her most recent publicist was Max Clifford.

Well, she got breast cancer. And believe you me, the British public were kept informed about every single moment of her struggle with the disease. Now don't get me wrong - it's a terrible, terrible thing that she got so ill. She left behind kids, which is an awful goddamn shame. I didn't hate her so much as I did the double-whammy of the media feeding the faces of the public with as much Jade-related material as they could get their grubby paws on, and the larger public themselves for seemingly anointing Jade as the patron saint of motherhood, above any and every other woman in the same situation in the UK and worldwide simply because she'd been on the telly.

Well, she passed away on Mother's Day - and I got this awfully creepy feeling that Max Clifford may well have pulled the plug on the life-support machine himself. But I pretty much immediately discarded the thought as too cynical even for me.

Mere weeks later? Clifford is accepting bids for the movie rights to Jade's life story.

No corpse is too warm to start hungrily feeding from, it seems.

But where will they cast Billy Mays?

we know WHO you are and WHERE you are, Lindsey with an 'e'.
(it was the 'e' that tipped us off.)

we *will* get you.

you can't hide.
but don't let that stop you.

it's more fun when you try to get away.

(mwahaha)

Hot cougars? Sensual milfs?
"Cougar Central"? "San Carlos" ? or "San Francisco"?
*** Agelover. c o m *** is the real place that is packed with them.

Why don't they just reanimate Jackson and put the real thing on tour? They can do that, right? I mean, they did it the first time he died, they can do it again, right? So he's a little more pale and more stuff is falling off of him, so what? He's the King of Pop. Worth every penny.

.....Ew.