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You Can't Polish a Turd, But You Can Put a Bow On It

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (18)

meryl-streep1.jpg

According to our pals over at Slashfilm, a rumor is abound that Meryl Streep has signed on to join Russell Brand in the Arthur remake. But get this: she’s gonna be playing the Hobson role. That’s right. The role that won Gielgud gold is now going to go to our resident goddess of the screen.

This is just going to further encourage people that Russell Brand is funny. He’s not. He’s just … he’s not. Oh, I know. You stupid sorry sonsabitches are gonna start whining and pointing to Podcasts and television series and … you know, I just don’t care. Russell Brand is not funny. And the fact that he thinks he’s even worthy enough to drink the cigarette-butt filled dregs left behind Dudley Moore’s alcoholic genius is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

I like Streep. But Hobson’s shtick was watching this refined butler lose his shit. Streep bitched it up hardcore in The Devil Wears Prada but that’s not the same as refined. But she’s Meryl Streep. She could fucking play Thor if she wanted to, and nobody’s gonna stop her.

But if Brand really wants to get a butler he deserves, he should end up with Sean Connery. Connery’s dry sarcasm would better match Brand’s clueless babbling. Or even Dustin Hoffman, for God’s sake. But Streep?









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Comments

Put Russel Brand and Dane Cook in a room...

Yeah, the possibilities are endless...

Another memory of you youth, totally crapped on by the morons in Hollywood.

Posted by: UncleJR at February 16, 2010 12:18 PM

I had no idea who Russel Brand was, so I looked him up on IMDB. I am still not sure who Russel Brand is.

All I know of him is based on the post here last week about that "Get Him To The Greek" movie and that, based on my Google search, he is somehow connected to Katy Perry, who I think is an English pop star.

As for Arthur, I've only ever seen bits and pieces of that movie and the last time I saw those, I was like 9 or 10 years old. I didn't quite get it then, other than realizing Dudley Moore was always drunk, and never really felt the need to "get it" later on in life either.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at February 16, 2010 12:20 PM

Thanks a lot for putting Christopher Cross in my head, shitbird!

Posted by: Jay at February 16, 2010 12:33 PM

forbiddendonut is my braintwin on this.

Posted by: figgy at February 16, 2010 12:36 PM

So, aside from the obvious, that one should not remake Arthur, I am intrigued to see how Streep will play this role.

Posted by: tamatha at February 16, 2010 12:45 PM

For one glorious minute I thought someone was making a movie of the PBS show Arthur. I was all ready to talk about Muffy's annoying voice is and how much I wanted to marry the Brain when I was little. Meryl Streep would be friggin' awesome as an aardvark and Russell Brand could totally play Mr. Ratburn!

On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know how I can get in touch with a Hollywood director and how much bribes usually run these days?

Posted by: esme at February 16, 2010 1:17 PM

Rich drunks with butlers were mildly amusing 30 years ago. Nowadays, not so much. What made Dudley Moore fun was that he was trying to have class, and was too drunk to notice that he didn't. Russell Brand looks like he hasn't washed in over 2 years. He looks like street people drunk. It's not amusing.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 16, 2010 1:29 PM

You can, in fact, polish a turd. The Mythbusters proved it. You cannot, in fact, polish Russel Brand. Russel Brand proved it.

Posted by: admin at February 16, 2010 1:52 PM

You can, in fact, polish a turd.

You can polish it all you want boys, still doesn't mean you can convince me to eat it. But I would if someone promised to kill Dane Cook. Hell, I'd even eat him if you bring me the corpse. Just so long as he ends up dead, I'll do whatever you want.

Posted by: Xtreme at February 16, 2010 2:10 PM

She could fucking play Thor if she wanted to, and nobody’s gonna stop her.

Hell yeah, that would rock!

Posted by: mswas at February 16, 2010 2:22 PM

His book is interesting. And put him next to Noel Fielding and their giddy hysteria is infectious. But no, Brand by himself, is not funny.

Also, I fully back Meryl playing Thor.
Make it so

Posted by: Nadine at February 16, 2010 3:35 PM

but who is Meryl Streep?

Posted by: caro at February 16, 2010 4:31 PM

Russell Brand.
Meryl Streep.
Arthur.
Was someone playing "Name two highly unlikely co-stars in a pointless re-make of a classic movie", and swept the pot with this zinger?

Posted by: frank (aka frank_247 aka the lone Scotsman) at February 16, 2010 6:37 PM

Pssshhh. Meryl Streep has also been confirmed as the new Spidey. This broad can do no wrong.

Posted by: greer at February 16, 2010 7:25 PM

Oh, good, Esme, I wasn't the only one who's mind went in that direction.

Posted by: Rowen at February 16, 2010 8:33 PM

The thing about Streep is that it wouldn't just be because she wanted to; she would do an awesome job as Thor.


To reel it back a bit, put her in a fat suit and she'd make a great Valkryie if Thor's needs a Valkryie.

Posted by: Robert Sims at February 16, 2010 10:24 PM

Oh, my God, people are calling "Arthur" a classic. I love me some Moore, but that movie is a one-note wonder.

Can we all agree to watch a movie once as adults (as opposed to when we saw it last -- early teens, perhaps?), before we toss in the "c" word?

Posted by: Janis at February 16, 2010 10:38 PM

I will pay good money to hear Streep say "Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you, you little shit."

Posted by: , at February 17, 2010 12:55 AM