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Mammarifous Stickiness

Megan Fox Covered in Blood / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 30, 2009 | Comments (49)

Fifty-six percent of the audience for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen over the weekend was male, and of that 56 percent, 54 percent said the reason they were most interested in the movie was the chance to see copious amounts of Megan Fox’s cleavage (seriously: Look it up). Of course, a simple Google image search would’ve revealed 1,000 times the cleavage in one 150th of the time. But, I suppose men like to see it in motion

Well, they’re going to get another chance this September. The Diablo Cody scripted horror film, Jennifer’s Body comes out on September 18th, and it offers up not only Megan Fox’s cleavage, but covers it in Karo syrup and food coloring (oooh. Mammarifous stickiness).

Anyway, though it’s only three months away, there’s still no trailer and very little official has been released. However, Film School Rejects managed to unearth some images from Empire Magazine and post them online. They’re grainy as hell, but this is all we got so far. Take a look — here’s two images of Megan Fox and one of Amanda Seyfried (which is of far more interest to me). The movie is about a newly possessed cheerleader (Fox) that turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Her best friend (Seyfried) attempts to prevent her. It’s all very Carrieesque.

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Comments

Now THAT looks fucking bad. The only reason we love Meagan is because she reminds us of Angelina - only younger. And maybe less crazy.

Posted by: Xtreme at June 30, 2009 10:54 AM

Gosh, am I the only being with a dick that doesn't find her THAT attractive.

Posted by: Fantasysage at June 30, 2009 10:54 AM

seriously: Look it up

No thanks.

And I'd take Amanda Seyfried over Megan Fox any day. She has bigger boobs and, somewhat less importantly, she seems like she'd be somewhat interesting to talk to post-coitus.

Posted by: Marra at June 30, 2009 10:55 AM

Gosh, am I the only being with a dick that doesn't find her THAT attractive.

No. In fact, you can earn a merit badge in it here.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 30, 2009 10:56 AM

Fantasysage:

You are not.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at June 30, 2009 10:57 AM

Okay, well at least I don't feel emasculated now. I just had to endure a 30 minute rant about why transformers 2 was the best move EVAR from the idiot that works a few cubes down from me. When I mentioned that I didn't think MF was that hot, he called me a fag and booked it for fear of the gay rubbing off.

What a tool.

Posted by: Fantasysage at June 30, 2009 11:00 AM

What's odd is that real-life cheerleader outfits now-a-days are far skankier than what is she wearing now. That bodes ill for the movie's prospects.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at June 30, 2009 11:03 AM

Please tell me the idea for this wasn't somehow wrung from the Hole song.

Mini-div: Songs that would make a GOOD movie.

Go.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 30, 2009 11:16 AM

Also .. she cheers for D(ic)K High School?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 30, 2009 11:17 AM

Marra, you talk to women after sex?! Queer.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 30, 2009 11:23 AM

Now this is the kind of movie Megan Fox belongs in. However, I personally expect it to be a colossal disappointment just like everything else she's ever done.

Posted by: George at June 30, 2009 11:25 AM

I talk to men after sex too, but mostly it's just "don't call me, I'll call you" or "where are my panties?"

Posted by: Marra at June 30, 2009 11:29 AM

Ok, Diablo Cody still has goodwill in my book. This is her big chance, or her sophomore slump. That said, I will see this for the scene when Amanda Seyfried (of my 5) is murdering Megan Fox. I apologize to the audience for my cheers and moans.

Posted by: Optimus J. Rhyme at June 30, 2009 11:33 AM

I'm pretty sure the title is definitely from the Hole song. This is Diablo Cody we are talking about and she loves her pop culture references.

Those still kind of remind me of Heathers, as does the logline minus the possession bit. I'm not discounting this one just because Fox is in it. Let's see if she can do anything other than run in slow motion and wear tank tops.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 30, 2009 11:36 AM

REDRUM! REDRUM! Best Megan has looked in a while.

Posted by: admin at June 30, 2009 11:38 AM

Gosh, am I the only being with a dick that doesn't find her THAT attractive.

No. In fact, you can earn a merit badge in it here.

This delights my cranky mom-type heart, and makes me want to adopt these boys and bake them cookies. It also makes me wish my son's actual Boy Scout troop had a merit badge in this -- he would so be taking that class at camp this summer.

Posted by: appwitch at June 30, 2009 11:56 AM

Gosh, am I the only being with a dick that doesn't find her THAT attractive.

No. In fact, you can earn a merit badge in it here.

This delights my cranky mom-type heart, and makes me want to adopt these boys and bake them cookies. It also makes me wish my son's actual Boy Scout troop had a merit badge in this -- he would so be taking that class at camp this summer.

Posted by: appwitch at June 30, 2009 11:58 AM

Having women who are 23 and 24 years old, respectively, play high schools is responsible for two things:

1. Men fetishizing "18 year olds" who are actually not 18, but rather cinematic representations of what we wished we or people around us looked like at 18
2. The fact that 22 year old me frequently gets mistaken for a high schooler. Still.

Sorry. Personal pet peeve.

I… will probably see this movie. I like Amanda Seyfried, I still like Diablo Cody, and it looks like it might be fun.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at June 30, 2009 12:08 PM

Dude. MF is CLEARLY wearing a flag-team uniform. And, as I well know, flag girls are WAAAAY freakier (and much more enthusiastic) in the sack than cheerleaders.

Posted by: Clee Shay at June 30, 2009 12:28 PM

Just saying.

Posted by: Clee Shay at June 30, 2009 12:32 PM

This delights my cranky mom-type heart, and makes me want to adopt these boys and bake them cookies.

I will be more then happy to accept cookies, baked or otherwise.

Posted by: Fantasysage at June 30, 2009 12:41 PM

Clee Shay as a former "flag girl", I can tell you that my uniform NEVER looked like that. Ever. Maybe they do at schools where the marching band is basically just a pep band, but at schools that do REAL marching band, "flag girl" (we prefer color guard) costumes tend to be far more conceptual. I mean, yes, she's holding a flag but it looks like one of those dumb "spirit flags" or whatever that just have the high school's letters printed on it.

Also, I cannot speak to the relative freakiness of flag girls versus cheerleaders, since I didn't know any cheerleaders.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at June 30, 2009 12:43 PM

MAAAAAAAAKE OOOOOUUUUUT

Posted by: Kballs at June 30, 2009 12:48 PM

Genny, we preferred color guard too, but they all called us flag girls anyway.

As for the uniforms, ours looked a lot like the one pictured, with the loopy sleave deal around the middle finger and everything. We even had calf-high gogo boots. It was... not conceptual, unless 60's era retro-kitsch is a concept. I suppose that means we didn't have a REAL marching band.

I have very little basis for comparison.

Posted by: Clee Shay at June 30, 2009 12:57 PM

I personally find her hot as hell. The fact they have that picture of her covered in blood just made my goddamn day. That's like a total horror fantasy right there. Not to mention she has a nude scene in the movie, you can find some pictures of her topless coming out of a lake all over the place.

To the haters...you would fuck her. If she came up to you at a bar and grabbed your crotch you would do it, tell me no and I will find you and nut punch you for not being a real man. Who cares if she can keep up a conversation, we're talking about a one nighter, not a fucking relationship. To the women who hate her...you would fuck her too. If she walked up to you at a bar, stuck her hand down the front of your pants, and nibbled your ear, you'd go home with her. Tell me I'm lying and I'll find you and...well...you get the idea.

So shut up...jealous fucks. She can get more ass, do drugs, make more money, and still be considered a sex symbol and you're sitting at a job that doesn't give you shit for gratification.

:-) and no, I haven't even seen the new Transformers, how many of you can say that?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 30, 2009 12:58 PM

DeistBrawler:

I would fuck the living shit out of her, that is not the question at hand here. I am saying that there are much better looking women out there compared to the amount of praise she gets.

Posted by: Fantasysage at June 30, 2009 1:03 PM

DeistBrawler, you're total weaksauce. Peddle that macho BS somewhere else.

Posted by: Clee Shay at June 30, 2009 1:05 PM

To the haters...you would fuck her. If she came up to you at a bar and grabbed your crotch you would do it, tell me no and I will find you and nut punch you for not being a real man.

No, I wouldn't. Here are my nuts. Swing away, "real man".

Posted by: branded at June 30, 2009 1:10 PM

I like the way you talk Deist. Exactly what I was thinking.

Posted by: Continental Almonds at June 30, 2009 1:14 PM

DeistBrawler, you're total weaksauce. Peddle that macho BS somewhere else.

Posted by: Clee Shay at June 30, 2009 1:05 PM

Did that make any sense?

No, I wouldn't. Here are my nuts. Swing away, "real man".

Posted by: branded at June 30, 2009 1:10 PM

I'm swinging...I'm swinging...

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 30, 2009 1:30 PM

Ugh, sorry if I came off snappish, Clee Shay. It's just one of those days where I just can't phrase myself correctly. I really should go sequester myself somewhere far away from my keyboard.

And I've already stated to some of you my personal belief that Megan Fox is no great shakes in bed, so I'd have to reject Deist Brawler's hypothesis as well. If I'm going lesbo, I'm going with someone who knows what they're doing and Megan Fox does not strike me as that person.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at June 30, 2009 2:01 PM

DB, I wouldn't. HA! I wouldn't ever. Because she's a dirty tramp.

That, and I'm allergic to vaginas. Sorry ladies, I love ya, but I do not enter the special valley.

Posted by: Smokin at June 30, 2009 2:04 PM

Genny >> I've always thought the chief cause of men's fetishizing 18-year-olds has much more to do with the onset of puberty in the teenage years and all those early unrequited sexual obsessions that accompanied it. If for whatever reason sexual attraction in the human male did not begin until our 40s, I wager you'd find a bunch of 60-year-old men obsessed over 40-year-olds. Most of us guys weren't dating the cheerleaders, and all those nights of fitful wet dreams left us traumatized!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 30, 2009 2:07 PM

Genny, might I suggest Portia de Rossi if you considering going lesbo? I still feel that she's one of the hottest women to ever walk the earth, made even hotter by the fact that she isn't interested in men at all. And I'm pretty sure she knows her way around in bed. Makes me glad I'm not a celebrity, actually, this way I know there would never be a chance of getting anywhere near that.

But a guy can dream, no?

Posted by: Xtreme at June 30, 2009 2:59 PM

What age does Megan Fox admit to? She looks mighty long in the tooth to be playing a high school cheerleader.

Posted by: Andrew at June 30, 2009 3:07 PM

Gah! Xtreme! de Rossi would tear poor Rusty apart. All angles and sharp edges and hip bones. Go for someone with more curves Rusty I can think of a few who shall remain namless (you know who you are) but someone like Monica Belluci or *Gasp* Christina Hendricks!

I also agree with DarthCorleone's hypothesis.

Posted by: admin at June 30, 2009 5:30 PM

Xtreme, Portia deRossi is my #1 "if I was going to experiment" fantasy girl! She's ridiculously hot, and seems like she'd be a laugh. (Your point is taken, admin, but I've already got plenty of curves, and a few sharp edges would just keep it from feeling like I'm doing myself.)

Posted by: meaux at June 30, 2009 5:59 PM

Damn admin, you have some mighty fine taste! Them's some curvy girls, yessir. But if I had to pick one for Rusty, it'd have to be Christina, 'cuz the only thing better than a regular hot girl is a red-headed hot girl. I've had some inappropriate thoughts about her alright.

But the reason I suggested Portia is because she really is a lesbian, and I think a newbie coming onto the scene should go for someone experienced, otherwise it could be really awkward to watch. And lets be clear about this, the whole point of this exercise is to watch.

Posted by: Xtreme at June 30, 2009 5:59 PM

meaux, you're a girl after my own heart! And hopefully a redhead to boot :)

Posted by: Xtreme at June 30, 2009 6:18 PM

Heehee--Xtreme, it's more of an auburn shade than a carroty-red, but as a matter of fact, I am. Cheers!

Posted by: meaux at June 30, 2009 6:30 PM

And I've already stated to some of you my personal belief that Megan Fox is no great shakes in bed, so I'd have to reject Deist Brawler's hypothesis as well.

She also looks like she might give you a disease that makes you sterile.

GaR, I'm 27 and still get mistaken for a high-school student as well. The other day I was talking to a woman who wouldn't believe I was a day over 16. And I live in North Florida, so a wedding band isn't really any indication of majority status.

But look at it this way - at the age of 36 you'll still be getting carded at the bar while the hags and douchebags mistaking you for a high-schooler will be shelling out big bucks for miracle face creams and getting offered the senior discount at the supermarket.

Posted by: stardust savant at June 30, 2009 7:03 PM

To the women who hate her...you would fuck her too. If she walked up to you at a bar, stuck her hand down the front of your pants, and nibbled your ear, you'd go home with her. Tell me I'm lying and I'll find you and...well...you get the idea.

No, I would not. Not even close. And I probably wouldn't have enough hand sanitizer in my purse to rid myself of the skank...

Anyone that vapid and selfish couldn't possibly do more for me than a drugstore vibrator and my own imagination.

So shut up...jealous fucks. She can get more ass, do drugs, make more money, and still be considered a sex symbol and you're sitting at a job that doesn't give you shit for gratification.

I love my job, thanks. In one day I make more of an lasting impact than every frame of Fox's best (heaving) asset combined.

Posted by: appwitch at June 30, 2009 8:21 PM

I imagine even if I were not a mostly-hetero vagina-ed American, I would not find Megan Fox attractive. She looks kind of greasy and sticky, and has a vague air of chlamydia about her.

Posted by: Elfrieda at June 30, 2009 9:05 PM

Looks awesome. Can't wait.

Posted by: zito at June 30, 2009 9:13 PM

I'll definitely see this. I have all kinds of fondness for Diablo Cody (of my 5), and Amanda Seyfried (not of the 5, but darn close) is charming.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at June 30, 2009 9:40 PM

let me guess,you find oprah sexier than megan fox?...all you OLD BOXES have forgotten how to get all wet anyway...DEISTBRAWLER nailed it, so shut-up!

Posted by: pasadenamike at July 1, 2009 12:06 AM

DEISTBRAWLER nailed it, so shut-up!

DeistBrawler wants to nail it, and therein lies the issue, I think.

Posted by: appwitch at July 1, 2009 3:06 AM

True story...

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 1, 2009 4:46 AM

Megan Fox is like the girl you pass by at the supermarket and think, "Oh, she's pretty." And then you forget about her like 5 seconds after that. She's just not memorable. Pretty enough to not be ugly.

I honestly read through these comments and as I was reading about how hot or not she is I had to keep scrolling back up so I can remember what she looks like.

Posted by: kayla at July 1, 2009 9:31 AM