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Megan Fox Set to do the Angel Hump Hump with Mickey Rourke

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (14)



megan-fox-passion-plays.jpg

Word out of MTV is that Megan Fox will be starring alongside Mickey Rourke in a movie called Passion Plays, which comes from writer turned director Mitch Glazer. Some of you may know Glazer from … nope. You don’t know him (unless you’re one of the six people who saw The Recruit,, in which case you know of his work, and you hate him for it).

It’s an interesting premise, if you don’t subscribe to the theory that “interesting” actually means “engaging or exciting and holding the attention or curiosity” (in this case, I think, interesting means: To be tarded. Twice). Set in 1950’s Los Angeles, the movie will about about an angel under the thumb of a ruthless gangster who is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck. Megan Fox will play the angel; Mickey Rourke will play the down-on-his-luck trumpet player.

The hook, here, is that Megan Fox isn’t playing a figurative angel; she’s meant to be a “caged circus freak with angel-like wings growing out of her back. She’s a freak and she’s on display.” Well, now we’re getting somewhere, aren’t we?

No?

Well, to be sure, the idea of a love story between Mickey Rourke and Megan Fox is compelling, if by compelling, you mean: Something slightly nauseating that I have absolutely no interest in seeing. Mickey Rourke — like victims of hot grease fires and low-rise jeans on overweight people who need the rise — makes me uncomfortable. It’s hard to look at him for any length of time, and the idea of him making out with Megan Fox is a bit like watching Laura Dern make out Eric Stoltz from Mask. But then again, at least Rocky Dennis had some charisma. Rourke just looks like he smells like Pall Malls and day-old Right Guard.

Now, let’s imagine what it must feel like to make out with him.

(Source: Playlist)









Pajiba After Dark 9/09/09 | Dark Tide News













Comments

It's too early in the morning for this shit.

Posted by: Cindy at September 10, 2009 9:22 AM

She'll be making out with someone with poutier lips than hers...this can't be good.

Has anyone ever stuck 2 suction cups together? Medics will need to be on hand.

Posted by: PissBoy at September 10, 2009 9:28 AM

Making out with Mickey Rourke? I imagine it's something like smashing one's face against a plastic grocery bag half-filled with warm pudding and chicken bones. And it smells like the men's room of a Tijuana strip club 20 minutes after the 4 a.m. donkey show.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 10, 2009 9:30 AM

i thought i might need a second cup of joe, but no, this news will get the ole bowels movin just fine.

Posted by: gp at September 10, 2009 9:44 AM

Ewwwww! Dammit Tracer Bullet! Dammit Rowles! Both images are just icky. God! I need to gargle!

Posted by: Four Eyes at September 10, 2009 9:56 AM

Tracer Bullet=Shakespeare of Nasty (but say Nasty like this, "Naaahhssty"). Thanks for the mental image.

Posted by: Jasper Buckleman at September 10, 2009 10:01 AM

Wha ...? I'm still trying to figure out how the actual angel wings thing works -- are they feathered? can she lie on her back or does she always have to be cowboy? -- and NOW I have to deal with y'alls' filthy minds too.

This day isn't going well ...

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 10, 2009 10:12 AM

I was tarded twice once. The fuckers wouldn't stop drooling on me, slapping me, and screaming "bad! bad!" You'd think with my hockey experience I could have gotten their helmets off quicker to lay down the beats, but whoever put those thing on had them cinched tight. Who knew they'd go on to have semi-successful movie careers.

Posted by: admin at September 10, 2009 10:14 AM

Tracer, I was at that show also and I concur, good sir, the smell in that TJ restroom was less than wonderful. Now I cannot comment on the grocery bag/chicken bones/warm pudding thing. But there's still a lot of life left to live...

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at September 10, 2009 10:22 AM

You maybe joking, admin, but I was actually 'tarded once.

I was once punched in the face by a kid with Down's Syndrome at a playground when I was ten. I had climbed to the highest point on the playground and was just hanging out, when this kid came up and apparently thought I was in his space. I got a black eye but had enough sense not to hit him back. I did, however, cry like a little bitch and then get made fun of by my friends who saw the whole thing.

Fantastic.

Posted by: Snath at September 10, 2009 11:17 AM

Ug. I think I just vomited in my mouth. Thanks Rowles.

Posted by: Vi at September 10, 2009 12:18 PM

I'd maybe be interested if they switched parts.

She's the trumpet player and down on her luck. Just all jacked up on
schmack, yeller teeth half fallin out and smellin ultra scummy.
Her lips vs the trumpet mouthpiece? I'm getting a visual and some audio
{pppftttt. like bill the cat}here and it aint pretty.

He's the 'angel'. Just stumblin around trying to figure out the wing-set.
Probably looks about the same as him trying to work things out in the
IronMan2 costume.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 10, 2009 12:21 PM

Tracer Bullet made me laugh out loud. Unfortunately, I was drinking tea at the time. Must go find some Bounty to clean up the tea spew and the buttmud.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 10, 2009 12:57 PM

No,see this could work. And if these two hook up afterward it will all be worth it. Can you imagine their spawn?

Posted by: greer at September 10, 2009 6:54 PM


















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