Pajiba

Will Ferrell?

i had a bifurcation on my perenium once.

if you add a cherry, it tastes nothing like a cosmopolitan.

That's like the name of a NU-metal band:

Bifurcated's new album "DickPussy"

featuring the hott new single "Suck on my Ass Barf, Ladies (I wanna fuck your house)"

Out now, mothercockers!

"...because a superhero who derives his power from a goddamn ring doesn’t deserve a $150 million budget."

what? sure the premise sounds like the ugly late-night yapping of small dogs, but who knows until its gruesomeness is foisted upon you? if you had told me, long ago, that i would end up enjoying a movie about an old fart who rides his lawnmower across three states to see his brother, i would have slapped you with a glove and demanded pistolings at dawn...and yet, i liked it.

remember, o angered one, from the ridiculous springs the sublime.

i read that on a napkin once.

Mmm... euphemism. That sounds tingly.

*leaves to locate her euphem"

You're thinking of bifricative.

Heh. Good thing nobody's going to go off topic anymore....

Skitz, you still slay me. Every damn time.

Maybe I'm naturally oversensitive, or maybe someone just slipped me decaf coffee this morning, but I, unlike Mr. McG, refuse to compromise the things that define us, including integrity, justice, love, and sharing. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. There is no place in this country where we are safe from his sympathizers, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. He maintains that either all any child needs is a big dose of television every day or that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime. McG denies any other possibility. I have come to know Mr. McG's spokesmen too well not to feel the profoundest disgust for their manipulative obiter dicta. That's all I have to say. Thank you for reading this letter.

I can sound pompous too!

Well look at that. I learned a new word today.

I TOLD my mum that computers won't make my brain cells atrophy. My leg muscles, but not the brain cells.

I’m not going into it again.

After you just did, you scamp.

I always though bifurcating referred to he-she squirrel love, although i have been known to be wrong from time to time. But then, what else should i call it? Tuesdays?

Forget bifurcate. How many fucking times does he need to use the word "indeed"?

Indeed.

I heard Arnold has a cameo in Salvation. Something about they had somebody do a stand-in for him during filming and they're going to CGI Arnold's face onto the guy... I dunno. I heard all this from my friend that gets his info from AICN. I try not to hold it against him.

My guess about the ending - John Connor is a robot. I just blew your fucking minds. Take a moment to collect yourselves.

A bunch of my friends thinks this movie is going to be super awesome and then I spoil it by mentioning McG directed Charlie's Angels.

This is excellent news. I'm sick of movies being dumbed down for the audience. I hope it causes a shitstorm amongst the fanboys, half whining "you can't do that!" the other half preaching "no, wait, it makes perfect sense!"

Get some bifurcation up in this bitch.

Actually, the bifurcation is the little piece of skin that joins the foreskin to the head of the penis. I know becuase when I tore mine, I was off school recovering for weeks!