Max Steel Movie

Another Mattel Action Figure Being Developed for the Big Screen

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)

I don’t know what the hell Max Steel is, but apparently, the Mattel toy is the David Hasselhoff of Latin America — it’s the region’s number one action figure. Max Steel was introduced to America at the end of the millennium, and even had his own television show from 2000 - 2002.

That’s enough to warrant a big screen movie.

Paramount is teaming up with Joe Roth to bring the toy to your local multiplex, as a way to relaunch the franchise and sell some more of those goddamn toys. Max Steel is the sixth movie franchise it’s set up in just the last year, including He-Man, Hot Wheels, Major Matt Mason (with Tom Hanks), and, of course, the View-Master movie, which is expected to be a power-point slideshow you watch with 3D glasses.

Let’s see: The original Max Steel series had the voice talent of Chi McBride and Neve Campbell’s older brother, Andrew. The title character is the alter-ego of Josh McGrath, a 19-year-old extreme sports star, who was injured by a superpowered cyborg and exposed to a swarm of microscopic nanomachines. To save him, his foster father injected him with a large proportion of the transphasic energy, which allowed him to survive, with some sort of super powers, which include the ability to alter his appearance, turn invisible and become super-strong. I bet he gets laid a lot, too.

Why don’t we see more movies where the superhero uses his powers for good … fucking? What lady would pass up the opportunity to bed a guy loaded with transphasic energy? That’s like superhero Viagra.

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Comments

XTREEEMMMEEE SPORTS!!!!

*cleans shotgun, puts in mouth*

Posted by: Marra at July 14, 2009 9:56 AM

it's quicker if you just use a dirty shotgun.

see?

*BLAM*

Posted by: gp at July 14, 2009 9:58 AM

I've been badgering my Congressman for months for a Constitutional amendment to limit production of superhero/action figure movies to one per day, but the bastard still hasn't written back. Like he's got better things to do.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 14, 2009 10:19 AM

Hot Wheels and Viewmaster movies.

*Depression sinks in nice and permanent*

Posted by: Kballs at July 14, 2009 10:21 AM

Awesome! I was hoping that they'd give him his own big screen treatment. That episode when he changes his name and then starts having all kinds of success due to the kick-ass name change is one of my favorites.

"Max Power, that's the man who's name you'd love to touch,but you musn't touch!"

Posted by: admin at July 14, 2009 10:30 AM

Once again I'm the black sheep of the Pajibites...I rather enjoyed the Max Steel cartoon. If done right, this could actually be a lot of fun to watch.

Who'd be able to direct it without fucking it up is a bit of a challenge though, especially considering the type of movie we're dealing with here. (Which is Big budget action meets preexisting toy franchise.) I'd say hand it over to Stephen Sommers, but G.I. Joe looks like a gigantic G.I. No. I'd say give it to Bay, but he's too busy figuring out how to write in Megan Fox's tits exploding in Transformers: Decepticons Now. I'd even suggest giving to to Rob Cohen, but he's so filmically retarded he can't make a film to save his children's lives. (Ok, fine...so I liked "The Skulls". Sue me.)

Therefore, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go with the last, most obvious option for the director of Max Steel...Alfonso Cuaron. Go ahead...doubt me Paramount. The last two times you did lead you to "Pootie Tang" and "Marci X".

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at July 14, 2009 10:51 AM

*cleans shotgun, puts in mouth*

Posted by: Marra at July 14, 2009 9:56 AM

it's quicker if you just use a dirty shotgun.

Posted by: gp at July 14, 2009 9:58 AM

On a related note, why do they swab the convict's arm with alcohol before putting the lethal injection needle in?

Posted by: BWeaves at July 14, 2009 11:09 AM

On a related note, why do they swab the convict's arm with alcohol before putting the lethal injection needle in?

And what is the deal with the black box? If it's the only thing that survives the crash, why don't they build the whole plane out of the black box!

Posted by: branded at July 14, 2009 11:21 AM

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Posted by: satokofan at July 14, 2009 11:28 AM

Seriously, Spambot? The fuck?

As for this Max Steel thing? Not even remotely familiar with it, so I suppose I won't be disappointed. Oh, and I won't be seeing it - Transformers 2 obliterated all my goodwill.

Posted by: malikvlc at July 14, 2009 12:02 PM

If it's the only thing that survives the crash, why don't they build the whole plane out of the black box!

Beacause then you wouldn't be able to see the plane at night, stupid. Come on, man!

Posted by: admin at July 14, 2009 12:16 PM

"Max Power? That's a great name!"
"Thanks! I got it from a hairdryer!"

Posted by: figgy at July 14, 2009 1:19 PM

figgy,

Best "found" band name I've seen was on a sign outside a jewelry store:

Ear Piercing Studs

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 14, 2009 2:17 PM

Aeroplane food, what's up with that?

Posted by: Sarah Woolley at July 14, 2009 2:44 PM

Why don’t we see more movies where the superhero uses his powers for good … fucking?

Rowles, I googled "superhero porn" and got 224,000 hits. And I'm willing to take the time and click through them all.

For research.

You're welcome.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 14, 2009 6:04 PM

So...it's Triple XXX with superpowers? Wow, that sounds fantastic. (Note Sarcasm)

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 15, 2009 2:38 AM

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Another Mattel Action Figure Being Developed for the Big Screen

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