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Dear Dog Lovers: I Blame You for This

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (29)

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Here’s the Marmaduke teaser trailer, a parody of the opening for “The O.C.” Make of it what you will. I make of it this: The end of Owen Wilson’s movie career is on the fast track. It’s been green lit for destruction. All systems go.

Seriously, Marmaduke, which is being approached like a “John Hughes film for dogs.” You’ve gotta be kidding me.



For Phil and Debbie Winslow, moving their family from Kansas to the O.C. is a big deal. For their enormous Great Dane “Marmaduke,” (voiced by Owen Wilson) however, the move means a whole new way of life. It’s chaos at home and awkward at work as the Winslows struggle to control their angsty teenage canine.


(Source: Slashfilm)









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Comments

Those fuckers killed Marmaduke. They killed him. Those fucking bastards.

Posted by: Robert at December 21, 2009 5:39 PM

@Robert: "Those fuckers killed Marmaduke"? So, Marmaduke was a totally awesome and viable commercial property before this, with tons of humor and energy, and it's this movie that made him suck? You have to explain that.

Posted by: Bastard Ray at December 21, 2009 5:45 PM

Sooooo, this is gonna be a 4 movie franchise and at the end of the 3rd movie the Marissa type character is gonna die in a car crash and everyone in the audience will cheer.

Seriously though, why would the dog be moody. Didn't they have a kid? Make him a teenager (really hot!) and have both him and the Marmaduke experience first love and hunger pangs together.

Posted by: kilmo at December 21, 2009 5:49 PM

I'm glad John Hughes didn't live to read that.

Posted by: , at December 21, 2009 5:53 PM

Ummm right you guys. I'm only 23, but I'm now like totally scarred for life.

LEE PACE and Judy Greer are playing The Winslows. As in you can see their faces. It wouldn't be so bad if they were just being voice actors like Mrs. Fergie Ferg. Now I guess I have to see it????

Posted by: kilmo at December 21, 2009 5:57 PM

Dustin, you made me throw up on my keyboard. You should issue a puke warning before posting stuff like this.

Posted by: esme at December 21, 2009 5:59 PM

Shitburger.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at December 21, 2009 6:02 PM

Owen Wilson was also in Marley & Me, and we all know what happened at the end of that one. Just sayin'.

And the song "California Love" is over 14 years old now.

Posted by: branded at December 21, 2009 6:03 PM

I don't know about you guys, but I'm totally stoked about this movie. It's going to have a Ferris feel, with a Breakfast Club vibe. Sweet! Go see it! Twice!

Posted by: Rowen Willson at December 21, 2009 6:03 PM

I always looked at Marmaduke as Scooby-Doo's other retarded cousin. Now with Owen Wilson's voice coming out of his muzzle, I have evidence.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 21, 2009 6:07 PM

Too... Many.. Inappropriate 'Dog Lover' comments in my head... Must resist...MUST!

See, I DO have a filter.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 21, 2009 6:12 PM

Besides, I hit my Bestiality quota for the day in the "Morgans" thread earlier.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 21, 2009 6:13 PM

Begin Owen Wilson suicide watch ..................................... NOW.

Posted by: Brian at December 21, 2009 6:28 PM

At least the first song in the trailer is good

Posted by: barf at December 21, 2009 6:37 PM

Dog lovers take no responsibility for this. Period.

I was going to say that this is one of those examples of how Computer-Generated Imagery can be used for EVIL instead of good, but then I watched it and they actually used a REAL DOG? I guess props for doing that, as opposed to sticking us with another Scooby Doo type monstrosity. The patience of the cast and crew working around an actual dog, no matter how well-trained, must have approached saint-like levels.

None of which makes this any less than TOTAL GARBAGE.

Posted by: MM at December 21, 2009 6:51 PM

Is that Tupac? Really? I ... I really need to sit down.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 21, 2009 7:18 PM

I can explain. Marmaduke is an adorable comic strip. I have an insane dog who might as well be a comic strip. He swallowed a whole cooked corned beef once and had a lump on the side of his body for 5 days where the meat sat while being digested. He jumped over a five foot fence (at three feet long) trying to catch a blimp. He's run through fences, dragging the remnants with him for a few blocks before getting tired.. He routinely dances on his brother's tail and he's figured out a way to carry three biscuits in his mouth at once and still give you a kiss.

I see my dog in Marmaduke. And they turned it into a film (bad idea) and cast Owen Wilson (worse).

Worst of all is this endlessly looping Luke Wilson AT&T ad that I will also blame on Marmaduke the Film.

Posted by: Robert at December 21, 2009 7:49 PM

This is what all those Nazis saw in the ark of the covenant before their heads melted. After seeing this, they were grateful for the release.

Posted by: welldressed at December 21, 2009 8:03 PM

Posted by: Sean at December 21, 2009 8:21 PM

Marmaduke IS Poochy.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at December 21, 2009 9:57 PM

"radar dish" is a way inferior euphemism to "cone of shame".

Posted by: badkittyuno at December 21, 2009 10:04 PM

Compare that shitty trailer for this awesome NSFW Hit Girl trailer from Kick-Ass

http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/21/kick-ass-red-band-hit-girl-trailer/

Posted by: Fredo at December 22, 2009 1:35 AM

speaking of animated dogs, this is for you Dustin: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8424766.stm

Posted by: duan_lun at December 22, 2009 1:44 AM

Fun fact: I just had a bad dream and now I can't sleep and that Marmaduke trailer TOTALLY did not help at all. Holy Jesus, now all I can think about is that a 200 pound evil hound with the voice of Owen Wilson is going to rip my throat out while his owner stands in the background making some lame ass joke along the lines of "We'll NEVER get that out of that carpet! *Laugh Track*"

And then I saw that Hit Girl trailer and now all I can think about is the fact that I want a daughter.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 22, 2009 2:30 AM

What if we were being tricked and this is a movie version of Family Matters where they replace Urkel with Marmaduke and move to the OC? The Winslow family reunion.

Posted by: Nonsensepoems at December 22, 2009 2:33 AM

Really? hard to believe.
I heard this news times from many friends playing on a ta ll da ting site ___Tallconnect Com___,i did not believe, i think that they are know nothing but da ting and love.
i am wrong.

Posted by: garyll at December 22, 2009 8:58 AM

Well that's right garyll. I guess a story about a CG-mouthed Great Dane post is the perfect place to talk about tall people.

As we all know...tall people like tall dogs.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 22, 2009 10:40 AM

Sorry, Dustin. If it makes you feel any better, I immediately went out to beat both of my dogs to death with the poop-shovel upon reviewing that trailer.

Posted by: Anne B. Robyn at December 22, 2009 11:31 AM

Thanks a lot, branded. Now I feel OLD.

Well, I guess that's mostly because I am old, and that's not your fault, so no hard feelings.

And, robert, those stories about your dog made me all misty.

And, everyone: California knows how to party.

Posted by: Jelinas at December 23, 2009 4:01 AM