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Maria Bello Outed Herself in the Sweetest Way Imaginable

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | December 2, 2013 | Comments ()


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One of the lovely side effects of the growing acceptance of gays and lesbians is that celebrities are beginning to feel more comfortable about who they are, and are more likely to discuss their relationships. And the more gays and lesbians in the public eye who discuss gender orientation, the more accepting the country becomes. What’s even more remarkable is when someone reveals their sexual orientation in a way that highlights its importance to the family relationship, and how these nontraditional families are no longer just sitcom premises: They are a delightful reality.

Maria Bello highlighted that very aspect in the Modern Love section of The New York Times this weekend, casually using that experience to explain to her son that she is dating a woman.

My feelings about attachment and partnership have always been that they are fluid and evolving. Jack’s father, Dan, will always be my partner because we share Jack. Dan is the best father and the most wonderful man I’ve known. Just because our relationship is nonsexual doesn’t make him any less of a partner. We share the same core values, including putting our son first. My more recent ex, Bryn, remains my partner because we share our activism. And Clare will always be my partner because she is also my best friend.

So I would like to consider myself a “whatever,” as Jackson said. Whomever I love, however I love them, whether they sleep in my bed or not, or whether I do homework with them or share a child with them, “love is love.” And I love our modern family.

Love is love (and a person’s a person, no matter how small!)


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Lotney

    I'm glad she is "whatever" I can keep my crush on her alive then.

  • Maria Bello outed herself as a MILF?!

  • e jerry powell

    Well, that does kind of come with having a kid, no?

  • Ryan Ambrose

    Indeed, that was a lovely statement.

    Now if only we could retire the term "partner" when referring to a loved one, regardless of genre. Not a fan of the word, it sounds so sterile.

  • Kate at June

    I love the term partner. I occasionally use it to describe my husband. There isn't really any other word or term of endearment that so easily promotes the idea of equality.

  • Hazel Dean

    Same. I use the term partner exclusively. I have never liked the sound of "wife" or "spouse".

  • L.O.V.E.

    I have a wife, and my business partner is female. I have had people assume that my business partner is also my "significant other" because of referring to her as my "partner". I told my wife we could fix the confusion if she just let me refer to her as my "lover". After she was done laughing she nixed that idea.

  • e jerry powell

    My "lovah!"

  • emmalita

    You should only say that in a hot tub, or while wearing a fashion turban.

  • e jerry powell

    You bring the Cosmos.

  • Kate at June

    Lovely statement from Maria Bello.

    One quibble with the article though...her relationship with a woman doesn't make her a lesbian. She doesn't claim the label and prefers, a she says, "a whatever."

    Her identifying isn't clear, and I think that's part of the point. Growing acceptance of gays and lesbians IS wonderful, obviously, but let's not ignore others on the spectrum that don't fall into those categories--they deserve the recognition, too.

  • emmalita

    I thought it was interesting how many articles have said she came out as gay, and how many said she came out as bi.

  • e jerry powell

    All the gay bloggers were the ones who said "bi."

    (And "bi" ≠ "whatever," so it's still not right.)

  • L.O.V.E.

    Is it me or does "outed" seem like an outdated way to reveal homosexuality?

    Am I imagining a stigma? like, someone gets outed as a war criminal or nazi sympathizer. Is there a new word coming down the vernacular pipeline?

  • Definitely. Another of those examples of language lagging behind society when it comes to tolerance (at least on the surface anyway.)
    'Outing' should be used - alongside 'in the closet' - for actually shameful predilections.
    Like liking Love Actually.

  • L.O.V.E.

    "Like L.O.V.E. liking Love Actually."

    Try saying that 3 times fast.

    Also, "getting outed" sounds bad, but an "outing" can be quite nice so long as it involves a flask and a pleasant view.

  • Quite.
    Getting outed on an outdoor outing, though, sucks.

  • That was just great. Beautifully written. This gave me a big case of the warm-and-fuzzies. It's sad that some people out there may look upon this nakedly sweet and genuine thing as inherently disgusting, but that's on them.

  • koko temur

    Olimpic gold medalist Tom Daley also came out in a sweatest of ways today. What a lovely kid!

    http://youtu.be/OJwJnoB9EKw

  • emmalita

    He did, and apparently he was the recipient of some nasty comments. Which is a shame, because he is a lovely young man and very thoughtful.

  • BlackRabbit

    I thought it was the guy from Wings at first when I read about it, I'll confess.

  • e jerry powell

    With a f*g hag like Tyne Daly for an older sister, I would think that ol' Timmy would have come out long ago if he were gay.
    :-)

  • That was lovely. You read stuff like this and it boggles your mind that people believe heterosexuality has a patent on family values. What does your choice of whom to sleep with have to do with how you love, value and care for the other people in your life? Such an incredibly narrow conception of love.

  • HamHandsSuzy

    The best revenge is a well-lived life. To all the miserable little people who make others feel small in an attempt to make themselves feel better, this is what you miss.

  • Beautifully put. A well-lived life is a delicious dish, best served warm and without resentment.
    Though sometimes a side order of shut-your-ignorant-mouth fist makes the dish even sweeter.

  • Modernlove

    Between this and Tom Daley, my heart is all warm with love today. It's a nice change from the usual cold, black void that lives there.

  • e jerry powell

    Tom Daley is still getting tacky homophobic tweets, though.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I love the Modern Love column in the NY Times. I hadn't read this week's yet. What I like is that I wouldn't even think twice about who was writing it until the very end - her story just fits in with all the others that are published.

  • emmalita

    That was lovely.

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