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More from the Do Not Want File

Sequels Edition / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 6, 2009 | Comments (22)

A couple of rumors are brewing about two potential, but completely unrelated sequels. And as we all know, rumors are fact until completely disproved. And these aren’t fun rumors.

The first is a continuation of what we’ve been hearing for a while — that Indy V is in the works. Shai LaBeouf mentioned a few weeks ago that Spielberg had “cracked the story” in mid-June. And now comes word, according to CBS’s The Insider (a low-rent Entertainment Tonight), that Harrison Ford is set to reprise his role for the 5th time. Filming wouldn’t begin on the sequel until next year, and it wouldn’t be released until 2011, by which time Ford will have died of old age (he’d be 69 and crumbly).

That should be fun. When’s the last time an actor died during a shoot?

In even more depressing news, Bob “JUST a bit outside” Uecker mentioned during the broadcast of a Cubs game at Wrigley field that he’s been approached for a fourth Major League movie. Uecker gave absolutely no details, but here’s a few things you can be one: 1) It’ll happen; 2) Charlie Sheen won’t return; 3) it’ll probably go straight to DVD; and 4) it’ll blow green donkey dicks.

Something to look forward to, folks!

You know what? There’s no bottom of the barrel left to scrape, Hollywood. At this point, you’re actually scraping the Earth’s core, and if you’re not careful, you’re going to trigger an apocalyptic earthquake. But think of all the new ideas for movies it would bring!


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Comments

So what you're saying is we should start eagerly anticipating Core 2: Cormageddon?

Posted by: Macafee at July 6, 2009 3:30 PM

that would be a good diversion: i call brandon lee out. does carradine count? and joshua jackson.

Posted by: gp at July 6, 2009 3:41 PM

Well, gangrenous donkey dicks, that's one for the Dictionary.

Gangrenous Donkey Dick: Describing a situation wherein Hollywood has spelunked a deceased franchise at least two to many times and has therefore received a gangrenous infection to it's asinine baynis.

Posted by: admin at July 6, 2009 3:44 PM

Hmmmmmmm...
Does it count that I initially read "A couple of TUMORS are brewing about two potential, but completely unrelated sequels...?"
Just sayin'...

Posted by: Courtney at July 6, 2009 3:45 PM

Personally, I don't think they've hit the sequel bottom until they make Ass Swiffer II: In My Pants.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 6, 2009 3:51 PM

Old Man Jones And The Search for the Pedophile's Jewelled Glove.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 6, 2009 3:55 PM

Greasy Kid Jones and Cranky Old Bastard: Keep Your Giant Rock Ball Offa My Lawn!

Major League 4: Yeah, We Still Suck, But At Least There's No Charlie Sheen!

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 6, 2009 3:56 PM

Major League 4: Revenge of the Fallen

Look at this point it will make at least 100 million just from confused people.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 6, 2009 4:40 PM

You know how programmers are always looking to write the Killer App? What we need here is the Killer Sequel, the one that does it all, and does it all so well, that other sequels will fold in shame before they even begin casting.

I hereby propose The League of Extraordinary Leading Men: Indiana Jones, Rocky, Jason Bourne, John McCane, Rambo and That Guy from Crank Beat the Everliving Fuck Out of Jason, Freddy, and Predator.

I think it would make a few bucks.

Posted by: Wednesday at July 6, 2009 5:28 PM

heath Ledger was shooting the Terry Gilliam movie .

Posted by: gilp at July 6, 2009 6:02 PM

Feh. I might be more inclined to watch the new 'Major League' flick than the Indy sequel. After all, it has three things going for it.

1) Bob Uecker
2) No Shia
3) Low expectations

Posted by: greer at July 6, 2009 6:59 PM

He's not the most recent, but let us not forget Vic Morrow (and I think three other people) died while filming a scene of "Twilight Zone: The Movie." Anybody can get shot by a carelessly cleaned gun (Brandon Lee). It's another thing to have a helicopter fall on you.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 6, 2009 8:26 PM

Indiana Jones and the Greaseless Ass-fuck.

Posted by: Odnon at July 6, 2009 10:08 PM

Natalie Wood died while filming Brainstorm.
Bela Lugosi died before filming Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Can't think of any others.

Posted by: spazmodeas at July 6, 2009 11:26 PM

Jeez... I hope Harrison DOESN'T die shooting Indy V, 'cause that'd be just creepy.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at July 7, 2009 12:38 AM

Peter Sellers died during whatever the hell the last Pink Panther movie was (the REAL last one, not the pathetic attempts to revive that franchise that followed).

Posted by: Armando at July 7, 2009 10:37 AM

Wednesday, are you proposing a feature length film of Lemon Demon's The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny?

Posted by: Lubeg at July 7, 2009 10:53 AM

"Wednesday, are you proposing a feature length film of Lemon Demon's The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny?"

If Hollywood has run out of ideas, I wouldn't mind if they made a feature lenght film of the Ultimate Showdonw of Ultimate Destiny, that would be awesome.

Posted by: Radlum at July 7, 2009 12:18 PM

When’s the last time an actor died during a shoot?

Happened by one the Crow sequesl, no?

Posted by: Brian at July 7, 2009 2:26 PM

Marilyn Monroe died during the filming of The Misfits with Clark Gable.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 7, 2009 4:48 PM

Do not even joke about Harrison Ford dying! Have you even been paying attention? Do you know how many people in Hollywood have died lately? You can't mention the name of your favorite actors and Death is the same sentence right now! If you kill Harrison Ford then by Godtopus there will be some hell rained down on thee! He's Han Solo AND Indiana Jones, dammit!

Posted by: BiblioGeek at July 8, 2009 3:06 AM

How about the diversion of which actors careers died during a shoot? When their career and/or fame took a big ass nose dive into the toilet of mediocrity and straight to video oblivion.

Posted by: Phil at July 8, 2009 11:30 AM