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August 20, 2008 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | August 20, 2008 |

Well now. Before we get into the TV news, I have to share a story. Last Friday night, I was back home in Philly and wound up drinking with two of the regular Eloquents. They can flesh out the details in the comments should they so choose, but suffice it to say we saw three of the most bizarre “musical” acts one could ever see. This included the best thing ever — in the form of a guy who just stood on stage behind the band doing curls with what we would later learn was a fake dumbbell — and the worst thing ever — in the form of a rapper calling himself Bodybags, who wore an orange jumpsuit/straight jacket contraption and growled, “fuck the mainstream, fuck VH1, fuck MTV.” Controversial shit.

But to borrow a phrase from Bodybags, fuck ABC. Fuck it long, fuck it hard, fuck it while doing curls on the back of a stage. Because any network that would even think about adapting J-Lo’s Maid in Manhattan into a TV show deserves nothing but scorn, disgust, and a Bodybags reaming. The pilot is apparently going to be an hour-long dramedy which still focuses on a young Latina maid from the Bronx working in the Big City, but it will also show us a lot more about her relationship with her co-workers. So, thank fucking god, we can finally have all those unanswered questions from the movie answered! (And for those keeping count, yes kiddies, this is the second time there has been an attempted televised version of this fucking movie.)

In infinitely more interesting news, HBO is considering making a mini-series out of the recent Nine Inch Nails album “Year Zero.” Seems that Trent Reznor is in talks with the network to make his guerrilla-marketed concept album into a show focusing on a near-future America involved in a nuclear war abroad while dealing with terrorism and a strong-arm government at home. Reznor is pretty optimistic about the chances of something coming to fruition, noting that his pitch to HBO went great. His ideal for the show would be “a two-year limited series,” allowing him to tell his story over a nice hunk of time, while tying it all into a second album, a second online game, and the subsequent tour.

I think I mentioned a rumor about this last week (I don’t exactly remember, because I’m tired and forgetful and too lazy to look up last week’s column), but Laurence Fishburne has signed on and is now confirmed as the new investigator on “CSI,” to replace the departing William Petersen. I forget — is it the red pill or the blue pill that makes me give a shit?

Mark Burnett is just like the rest of now as, he too, is bitching about the Emmys. His complaint is with the new “Best Reality Host” category, and he thinks it’s bollocks that folks like Howie Mandel, who have much of their patter scripted and are working cleanly in studio, should be matched up against the likes of Jeff Probst, who’s out in the wild doing it all. on. his. own. Seems to me, the bigger problem is with classifying “Deal or No Deal” as a “reality show” in the first place, because I remember this type of TV folks used to call “game shows.” Even a whole network devoted to the form, don’t you know. And “Deal” would seem to be a game show in my eyes. Of course, I’m not an Emmy voter, so I’m allowed to utilize common sense. Silly me.

There’s a long article from last week over at The New York Times about Jon Stewart and “The Daily Show” and, although there’s really nothing new to be learned in the article, there are still worst things to read while finishing your morning cup of java. And while we’re on the interview front, GQ sat down with Aaron Sorkin, who talked about a bunch of stuff, including the much beloved “Sports Night,” his guilt over the bomb that was “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” and his recent meeting with the head of HBO (although that’s a bit of a cocktease, as it sounds like he may not have pitched anything specific just yet).

Here’s a nice long trailer/preview for the new Villains season of “Heroes.” We all know Season Two was a big fat stinking turd, and while I’ve tempered my expectations for Season Three, it certainly has some potential (although the notion of giving people powers with an injection, if that’s not just a red herring in the preview, is ter-ri-fucking-ble):

Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He wants to do dirty, nasty things to evil Claire. And because Stacey asked, this week he gives you Manga TV Whore, which doesn’t really look much like him and, thus (and sadly), is infinitely better looking.

The Daily Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
Aug. 20, 2008

Industry | August 20, 2008 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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