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Two Rumors Enter, One Rumor Leaves

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)



mad-max.jpg

Before posting a trade news piece, I always do a quick search on the site (there’s a search box on the right hand side, neat huh?) to make sure that I didn’t already write about that particular bit of news and lose it down a memory hole created of cheap burritos and cheaper whiskey. Well let’s just say that the actual current news about Mad Max 4: Beyonder Thunderdome is absolutely dwarfed by the sheer awesome randomness of all the previous rumors that have rolled out over the last year or two.

So here’s the round up of all the random rumors of the film:


  1. It’s definitely subtitled “Fury Road” at this point.

  2. It will not be a 3D anime film. (which was rumored back last March)

  3. It also will not star Jeremy Renner of The Hurt Locker fame. (which was rumored back in August)

  4. Sam Worthington probably isn’t in it either. (there were vague rumors of that back in October)

  5. It’s probably going to start filming in August of 2010, (although originally it had been slated for January of 2010)

  6. It will definitely be filming in Australia

  7. Depending on the phase of the moon, Mel Gibson may or may not be making a cameo

  8. Tom Hardy is playing Mad Max, so presumably it’s a reboot or prequel or a time travel song and dance affair.

  9. Charlize Theron is definitely in it. And by definitely, I mean that there was a press release. So that means at least a 50% chance that’ll fall through too.

  10. But Teresa Palmer has also been announced as the female lead … so Theron is presumably doing something else.

  11. And the latest and greatest rumor? That Sir Patrick Stewart will be joining the cast. Of course the entire basis of the rumor is an anonymous fan emailing Harry Knowles claiming that he had run into Stewart in Australia and that Stewart told him about it. Score one for journalism.









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Comments

Two men enter. One man leaves. Then the other man leaves too, but he has to be carried out. So really, four men enter and four men leave, one of which has to be carried by the two other men that entered. I mean, I GUESS if you want to get technical, six or seven men enter, depending upon what kind of staff Tina Turner has for setting up the weapons and re-stringing the bungee cords. I mean, I guess one guy could do it all, but he'd probably be at it all day. So lets say conservatively five men enter and all five of the men leave, with varying degrees of mobility.

Posted by: superasente at February 1, 2010 12:16 AM

You: popo shiso
Stranger: hi there!
You: hi
Stranger: lol
You: wanna assist me with my homework
Stranger: sure!
Stranger: what kind?
You: english essay
You: well i have to write a 3000 word essay on the advantages or having 3 legs instead of two
Stranger: yes i love english!
Stranger: seriously?
You: so far all i've come up with is that if you break a leg, you can still walk
You: yeah i chose the topic a month ago
You: left it till last second
You: ny suggestions?
Stranger: let's see...
Stranger: you might run faster
You: really?
You: i think 1 leg would get in the way
Stranger: ok then....
Stranger: i'd say you'd get 3 shoes instead of one, but that would actually be a problem since you'd have to buy two pairs and not even use one
You: yeah already thought of that one
You: keep thinking though
Stranger: you could kick someone twice in at one time?
You: oooog
You: oooooooh
You: good one!
You: i'll write that down
You: kk what else you got?
Stranger: ummmmm
Stranger: would you be better at kickball?
You: um
You: well maybe
You: but the running part is still kinda awkward
Stranger: true
Stranger: dude why did you pick this ridiculous topic?
Stranger: its too hard!
You: cause i thought it had a ton of advantages
You: it would seem so on the surface?
You: i mean who wouldn't want 3 legs right?
Stranger: ::raises her hand::

Posted by: Adventureman at February 1, 2010 2:14 AM

I...
B bb but....
How?

I don't know wtf Adventureman is or even if I'm the only one that can see this, but I think we have a new kind of genius on here.

Posted by: frank at February 1, 2010 2:50 AM

frank, it sounds like you have a touch of Adventuremania. Exposure to Adventureman's comments can lead to an obsessive need to make sense of his words. Do not go down this rabbit hole. No good will come of it. At first, you'll try to chalk it up to a Spambot, though no references to AgelessLove will make you question this rationale. This comment is surprisingly lucid, at least grammatically, so you will try to justify the content as thematically-relevant to the post. Tell me, do you feel the need to re-watch the Mad Max movies for 3-legged creatures?

It's kind of like seeing some great black object in your peripheral vision and turning to find that nothing is there. It's haunting, mind-boggling, and ultimately insubstantial. I recommend clear liquids (e.g., vodka) and a cool, dark room until the symptoms pass. Also, if you are not near a bathroom, I suggest you find one.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at February 1, 2010 4:49 AM

Well I don't know what it has to do with Mad Max but an advantage to having three legs would be better balance. You would be a tripod. Since I suffer from sudden and spontaneous loss of balance, I can actually see the appeal.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at February 1, 2010 4:58 AM

Will the bathroom be fitted out for three-legged people?

Posted by: frank_247 at February 1, 2010 5:14 AM

Adventureman: kudos for using Omegle for homework

Posted by: Ari at February 1, 2010 5:47 AM

....

That's my original comment there, which has now been removed for aesthetic reasons: ie this three-legged thing is just so....beautiful. I feel honoured to have watched it lumber past on its way to the Special Bathroom.

Posted by: Oztraylienne at February 1, 2010 7:23 AM

I don't think I'd have the muscular coordination necessary for the proper wrangling of three legs - I find it hard enough to walk in a straight line with my customary bipedal set-up most of the time. I'd probably end up just walking normally with the outer legs, while the middle one dragged listlessly behind me like some kind of stabiliser-foot. I'd be all getting it trapped in lift doors, too, or accidentally tripping grannies in crowded streets.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 1, 2010 8:53 AM

Superasente should be getting all the love.

Posted by: MillyQPublic at February 1, 2010 9:20 AM

Pajiba is the only site whre we can be ten comments deep about haveing "three legs" and no one's made a di- a joke of unscrupulous nature. Keep it up! :)


...Penis.

Posted by: Mikey Likes It at February 1, 2010 9:33 AM

where and having* ^^^

argh.

Posted by: Mikey Likes It at February 1, 2010 9:34 AM

Here ya go, Mikey:

They call ME tripod and I only have two legs. ;-)

Posted by: , at February 1, 2010 10:08 AM

MillyQPublic - you're right, the outré absurdity of Adventureman's contribution has somewhat hogged the spotlight from suprasente's brilliant post.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 1, 2010 12:38 PM

SCHMAAAAA

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 1, 2010 12:52 PM

At least superasente started a thread about the article, the rest of you commenters are oxygen thieves. Anyone heard much about the supposed fifth instalment Furiosa, allegedly being made concurrently with Fury Road.

Posted by: Anthony at July 6, 2010 5:07 AM


















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