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Machete Kills Trailer: A Movie About Scumbags, Featuring Those Scumbags Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 2, 2013 | Comments ()


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Robert Rodriguez’s Danny Trejo flick, Machete, made $26 million at the box office back in 2010, which is pretty good considering its $10 milion budget. So, hey! Why not a sequel? Rodriguez in casting Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal, he’s rounded up some big names with tiny, miniscule reputations in Charlie Sheen (under his original name, Carlos Estevez) and Mel Gibson. Great idea, Rodriguez: Exploit the fact that both are horrible human beings to boost your box office!

The trailer — which also features Amber Heard, Michelle Rodriguez, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Jessica Alba and Sofia Vergara — admittedly looks batsh*t insane, but Danny Trejo deserves better than to be associated with the like of Sheen and Gibson.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Doc Spender

    Fuck it. Yeah, Mel is a piece of shit. So? Woody Allen married his adopted daughter. Roman Polanski raped a child. Are they still embraced by fans and critics? You bet. Sure, I'll watch this and I have no doubt that Gibson will do a great job. The movie looks like great fun.

  • Hmmmm

    While on the streets, Trejo developed talent as a boxer and considered taking it up as a profession; however, that ambition ended when he was sentenced to 11 years for drug, murder, and robbery charges. - Wikipedia

  • Guest

    I'm sorry, I will still rent it at Redbox.

  • BWeaves

    The trailer is fake trailer great.

    The movie? Nu? I'll skip.

  • the dude

    Mel is an asshole but I like him in movies.

  • six6sixwitch

    Tries a little too hard...

  • BlackRabbit

    Yeah, the first had a kind of crappy, Nick Cage as Fu Manchu greatness. This? Too self-aware.

  • Wigamer

    Mel's hair-plug artist must've been watching a lot of Wolverine lately.

  • Amber Heard is so goddamn searingly attractive she makes me want to lop my own eyes with a grapefruit spoon and then let them bob in hot coffee for a few minutes just to remind them that not everything's that hot, calm down, eyes!

  • sean

    Right. Amber Heard was born in the wrong time. She seems like an old fashioned movie star. I always imagine her as a late 40s film noir leading lady.

  • You hit the nail on the head there

  • Jen

    It looks just so fucking awful it might be a classic

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    *Throws money at monitor

  • Jerce

    More Machete in the world = A Good Thing.

  • bleujayone

    I didn't think it was possible: Rodriguez actually ripped off Austin Powers with the Fem-Bot inspired tit-mounted guns.

  • VohaulsRevenge

    I dunno; weird gun-related props have been a Rodriguez staple for some time: the gun in the guitar case in "El Mariach", the Sex Machine's cock-gun in "From Dusk till Dawn", the leg-gun in "Planet Terror", etc.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Sofia Vergara gives new meaning to the expression "killer tits".

  • cruzzercruz

    I honestly don't care who Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen are in real life, their inherent seediness really lends to this movie. It looked funny, and I couldn't stop laughing at Gibson in that blue outfit. Color me excited.

  • Chris Farnsworth

    Was that a cape? Was he actually wearing a cape?

  • Arran

    EXCLUSIVE: For his next movie, Rodriguez is casting Ariel Castro and George Zimmerman.

  • Maguita NYC

    This!
    I was wondering why I did not want to watch the trailer, for I really enjoy Rodriguez's cheese, and your comment made me realize it was Mel Gibson's face: It turned me off, lost my interest. Too bad I'm not able to disconnect my disgust for one actor from the movie he's playing in...

  • Douche

    Damn! With that cast, how come he didn't cast Sean Penn too?

  • Maguita NYC

    Shut up. You're giving him ideas for a sequel.

  • Banana

    Machete Kills Again

  • Arran

    The annoying thing is that despite it all, half of my brain went "Ooh, Mel Gibson!" when he showed up. The piece of shit remains a charismatic movie star.

    If it was Gibson OR Sheen in the film, it'd be less noticeable. But having both of them carries the stench of a cheap gimmick. (Robert Rodriguez and gimmicks! Well I never!)

  • Maguita NYC

    I really did not mean to sound like the high-moral snob (snort), but your words truly made me realize why I was not eager to watch the trailer.

    I'm sure a couple more public apologies by either Gibson or Sheen will change my... No.

  • LucyKlein

    I wouldn't considered Gibson to be charismatic. Back in the day sure. Now? Meh.
    I'm not sure if there plan is to have their characters get killed (like Paris Hilton in House of Wax), a give the public what they want idea.

    Or is this some kind of a comeback? A comeback no one was asking for.
    Why? Why to all of this

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