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¿Quien Es Mas Macho?

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)



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I’m undecided about Machete. On the one hand, everything about it is awesome. Danny Motherfucking Trejo in a starring role. Robert Rodriguez directing the kind of movie he’s best at (seriously: Fuck Spy Kids). It’s gloriously grindhouse-styled, B-movie stuff.

On the other hand, it’s a recipe for disaster. It’s getting too hyped up (and I blame myself for this as well), and it’s got the potential to be anywhere from middling to massively disappointing. But I’m staying hopeful. The cast is too good for words — even Jessica Alba. There was a time when I would have dreaded her presence, but she was surprisingly decent in The Killer Inside Me. Given that, Sin City, and this, it seems that Ms. Alba might be trying to reach some loftier goals than I expected. That’s sort of admirable, I suppose.

Anyway, here are a few new character posters for Machete. They’re all pretty much awesome, and I love that Don Johnson is in it. And don’t get me started on the hysterical badassery of Segal.

(click to enlarge)

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Comments

Weird...

These pictures look just like the wallet photos of my family.

Ya see, my dad is an ex-Mexican federale, trained in special forces combat. He's a master with a knife and I've seen him win at least a half-dozen pig stickin' matches.

My sister is an ex-prostitute who fancies a large weapon. :: rimshot! ::

My uncle Neil is a veteran - he invaded Grenada - who came home with PTSD. Ever since, he's practiced the way of the samurai. (we give him a foam sword)

Grandpa Frank is a shithouse insane congressman from Alabama. He doiesn't carry S&W .45's though. He's a bigger fan of the Baretta 9mm. As he says 'to keep all them coloreds off his property.' (If you knew grandpa Frank...you'd totally think his racism was funny!)

Then there's my hot cousin Peggy. (uncle Neil's daighter) I don't make it known...but i would totally pee in her butt.

And, oddly enough, Don Johnson is my second cousin and the photos in this case are identical. Cheap motherfucker wouldn't spring for the bigger package at Olin Mills so that everyone could get 'poster-sized' apparently.

Dick!

...and Nash Bridges sucked balls!

Posted by: PissBoy at July 13, 2010 9:32 AM

...this looks like it could work. And DeNiro has never looked better collecting a paycheck. I just hope it's not funny the same way it was when DeNiro hosted SNL (read: not very).

Posted by: DoctorControversy at July 13, 2010 9:32 AM

I'm a fan of Rodriguez's "wink wink nudge nudge" style of violence. I'll spend my money on this for sure, even if it's just to have a good time.

Plus, every time I see Michelle Rodriguez in either the trailer or a still shot, I feel myself go up a point on the Kinsey Scale.

Posted by: Kaleena at July 13, 2010 9:42 AM

I'll happily see this if the movies in my town ever change. Have the theaters all really been showing the same 10 movies since March or does it just feel that way?

Oh, and: PissBoy FTW. That's some funny shit. Unless you were serious. Then it's some funny-ASS shit.

Posted by: , at July 13, 2010 9:53 AM

You're a fine bowl of pineapple juice yourself, ,.

Posted by: PissBoy at July 13, 2010 10:05 AM

I confidently restate my opinion that Michelle Rodriguez is hotter than Jessica Alba.

DO YOU HEAR ME, GOD? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!

Posted by: superasente at July 13, 2010 10:25 AM

Looks entertaining. Though, both Alba and Rodriguez are two of my least favorite actresses working today. They really irritate me to no end.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at July 13, 2010 10:35 AM

Now THIS is what I'm talking about! Out-of-focus blood, poses that give clear pictures of inner turmoil of characters--
My only complaint is that Alba got Bobblehead Syndrome going on. And not the cool kind of Bobblehead that you could brag about in the morning, the kind where she might come to life at night while sitting on your toy shelf and declare the hour for soul-reaping.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at July 13, 2010 10:56 AM

Am I the only who is quietly rejoicing that there is no Lohan poster?

Posted by: petite at July 13, 2010 1:20 PM

Posted by: fudge at July 13, 2010 2:33 PM

Man... when did Don Johnson became so old? I guess it can't stay 1987 forever...

Posted by: A-Train at July 13, 2010 3:19 PM

If I ignore the fact that it's Lohan, that pic is actually pretty fucking awesome.

Posted by: Kaleena at July 13, 2010 3:46 PM

Now why don't they have Danny Trejo host SNL? During his opening monologue he could randomly throw daggers at the audience.

Posted by: John W at July 13, 2010 3:47 PM

If only it didn't have Lohan in it. As it stands I'm forced to wait 'til it comes out on Starz/Encore. I have no intention of supporting her lifestyle.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 13, 2010 6:38 PM

I'm kinda on the fence on this one, but the name for Michelle Rodriguez's character just tipped me on the side of "see it." I hope her eyepatch really does move from one eye to the next in the movie though, and it wasn't just a mistake made in slapping the trailer together.

Posted by: Irving Washington at July 13, 2010 8:53 PM

If only it didn't have Lohan in it. As it stands I'm forced to wait 'til it comes out on Starz/Encore. I have no intention of supporting her lifestyle.

She already got the paycheck, and I doubt anybody gave her points on the back end.

Seriously, that reasoning never made sense to me.

And I would like to climb onto Michelle Rodriguez stomach, curl up in a ball, and die.

Or enter her repeatedly. With my wang.

Either is fine.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 15, 2010 9:22 AM