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MacGruber Lets It Dangle for Playgirl

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (28)

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File this under things I never wanted to see. Ladies and gentlemen: Will Forte’s penis. (WWTDD)

The torturous development of Terry Gilliam’s The Man Who Killed Don Quixote has replaced Johnny Depp with Ewan McGregor. I still don’t think it will ever happen. And I’d rather McGregor not be involved, just in case the Quixote curse takes another actor to the grave. (Empire Magazine)

Despite what was only a mediocre episode, “SNL” had its highest rated season finale in five years. Credit Betty White’s momentum more than Alec Baldwin. (Flickcast)

The folks over at Nerve.com have ranked every single male character on “Lost” in terms of sexiness. All 40 of them. I hate to ruin the surprise, but Hurley didn’t break the top ten. (Nerve)

Although no deal is yet in place, and George Romero won’t do it without Dario Argento’s approval, Romero has his sights set on remaking Argento’s Deep Red. (Fangoria)

Juno Temple (Year One, Greenberg) is the latest to join the cast of Paul W.S. Anderson’s Three Musketeers. (THR)

Here are a few select movie posters for Salt, Splice and Jonah Hex.

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Comments

Who is Salt? That's a damn good question. Is the woman on the poster supposed to be Angelina Jolie? Because it looks like a Japanese animatronic sex doll, when that eventually exists.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 19, 2010 4:00 PM

I don't know who the hell that is in the Salt poster, but it ain't Angelina Jolie. I don't get it. Who's going crazy with the airbrushing? Angelina certainly doesn't need it.

Judging by the size of that sticker, I would say MacGruber has a teeny weeny hangdown. But I can't tell, since I'm looking at the "clean" version. Is it a Dirk Diggler type deal, and he's just tucking it away because of the massive girth?

Posted by: Brie at May 19, 2010 4:00 PM

I hope it is very cold in that room and that Forte is trying to remember the top 20 NL batting averages from 2001.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 19, 2010 4:05 PM

Well, after that header picture, I'm going to have to describe myself as "sorta hairy", because, DAMN! That's a LOT of body hair!

Posted by: Drake at May 19, 2010 4:12 PM

Someone needs to be fired. How do you take a bad picture of Angelina Jolie? That woman is so god damn sexy when she wants to be, you could put her in the middle of the human centipede and want to fuck it from both ends on principal.

Posted by: D-Day at May 19, 2010 4:16 PM

You think they photoshopped that dick? Or used, like, an opposite Dirk Diggler? Maybe a prosthetic and a tuck was involved?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 19, 2010 4:17 PM

But which version of Deep Red will Romero make? There are oh so many cuts of the film. And for every cut, there's an alternate title. I'm fond of The Deep Red Hatchet Murders, myself.

But I'm not fond of Romero remaking an Argento. Very, very different styles.

Posted by: Robert at May 19, 2010 4:17 PM

I'd definitely put Lapidus in the top 15 or change him for Farraday because EW he looks like a frightened rabbit. And my #1 is definitely Sayid, followed by Sawyer and Desmond.

Sad lack of shirtlessness in there, though. What's the point of such a list if everyone is fully clothed? Pfft.

Posted by: figgy at May 19, 2010 4:18 PM

Optimus, I'm thinking they Photoshopped Michael Bay's penis onto MacGruber's sack.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at May 19, 2010 4:21 PM

50 air-brush artists died of exhaustion to get her to look like a human being on that poster, and Jolie still looks like the unholy spawn of Mick Jagger and Joan Rivers' facial implants.

Posted by: ZombieScientist at May 19, 2010 4:26 PM

You have to be a damn desperate actor to be photoshopped like that. Then again, I guess his dates all say, "Wow! You look so much bigger in person."

Anyway, my rant for today is:

TLC's latest new reality show, "MALL COPS."

I'm blaming you, Paul Blart.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 19, 2010 4:27 PM

ok ok ok... WHY ISN'T ANYONE MENTIONING THAT THE SPLICE CHICK HAS HANDS FOR FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uuuuuuuuuuuugh... this is creeping me out... in an extreeeeeeeme way...

Posted by: Tammers at May 19, 2010 4:34 PM

Hooo my God, they look like high heels. That is terrifying.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 19, 2010 4:45 PM

I was going to say something about something and then I got to the Jonah Hex poster and.....

Posted by: peanut at May 19, 2010 4:47 PM

Re: Splice poster

If it's creeping you out, then it's doing its job!

Posted by: MM at May 19, 2010 4:49 PM

My Lost top 3... Desmond, Boone, Sawyer. Mmmm Boone, how I miss you.

Posted by: Even Stevens at May 19, 2010 5:05 PM

JESOPUS!
Lets hope that this nekkid MacGruber dude is a GROWER not a SHOWER, because that in NOT a prodigious peen.
And yes, I looked at the NSFW pics. He seems very pleased with himself. Like a naked 2 yo at the beach.
Lookit MEEEEEE! {Scamper, scamper, splash}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 19, 2010 5:38 PM

Been looking forward to Splice for...what...a year now, but the high heel thumb thing is silly.

Posted by: laredo at May 19, 2010 5:45 PM

Laugh all you want, but we all know it's the motion of the ocean. Plus, I'm a grower not a show-er. And I'm still twice as large as Michael Bay's penis.

Posted by: Macgrubers Penis at May 19, 2010 5:48 PM

FYI, for anyone coming over on Halloween this year dressed like Dren from Splice: I fucking shot things that have 4 arms and walk on their hands. With a Remington 870. In fact, anything that looks like that gets treated like a real, live Zombie. Except we all know Zombies aren't really alive. Fuck it, you know what I meant.

Posted by: Xtreme at May 19, 2010 5:55 PM

Terry Gilliam gets into more bullshit and disastrous movie projects than any director should be allowed to: Cimino had his 'Heaven's Gate', the most legendary bomb; Coppola had 'Apocalypse Now', a brilliant film that almost killed him while making it, only to later really blow a mega-wad on Zoetrope and it's demon offspring 'One From the Heart'.
But I can't keep count of Gilliam's idiot misfires and wonder why anyone would still hire this lunatic who apparently suffered a creative 'stroke' after 'Brazil' and has totally screwed up too many chances since- there really should be a law against directors fucking studios, investors, talent, not to mention 13-year-old girls, and be accountable fo--
shit, what the hell am I thinking? It's Hollywood, idiot!
*smacks own head*

Posted by: Bill (formerly 'Bill') at May 19, 2010 6:00 PM

that in NOT a prodigious peen.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 19, 2010 5:38 PM

Would that have been is instead of in? Just wondering. For clarity. And because you've picked on my grammar before. Beatch.

*kisses*

Posted by: Xtreme at May 19, 2010 6:03 PM

It WAS supposed to be 'is' rather than 'in'. Curses to my damn monkey hands!
But my observation stands. That is a wee little winky.
Of course, I have been {pleasantly} surprised by those before... Motion of the ocean indeed!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 19, 2010 6:38 PM

I think Forte got the anti-airbrush for those shots...I hope so for his sake at least.

Posted by: stryker1121 at May 19, 2010 9:41 PM

That is a very badly-Photoshopped Wee Willy Winky on MacGruber.

Will Forte has a sex quotient of WAY HIGHER than that. It's a gimmick, and I refuse to accept that he has a dinky winky.

Haha, two penis jokes, one post. Awesome.

Posted by: Jessica at May 20, 2010 12:14 AM

I challenge all of you to scroll past the Salt poster and not see the word "SLUT" for a split-second. It's impossible.

Posted by: Kballs at May 20, 2010 8:16 AM

I think you're actually looking at the Jonah Hex poster.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 20, 2010 10:58 AM

Where the hell is Nathan Fillion on that Lost list? You know, Kate's husband that she drugged and ran out on, forever earning my hatred? There's room for that murdering douchebag Paulo but none for Captain Tightpants?

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 21, 2010 1:04 PM