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If There's Anything You Love, This Post Decapitates It

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)

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I noticed Dustin didn’t sum up SNL this weekend. There’s a very simple reason for that. Justin Bieber was on “Saturday Night Live” and the Church Lady danced with him. Remember when Dana Carvey was funny? Maybe it’s just nostalgia for a simpler time, when the 49ers didn’t make me cry, those lofty days before the Internet gave us unlimited communication and Canadian auto tuned androids, but I swear that Carvey had the ability to be mildly subversive at some point.

(source: THR)

Just about every genre fan I know of the proper persuasion has a thing for James Marsters. It has something to do with abs, cheekbones, leather coats, and a propensity for flirting with absolutely anyone else (of any species) that shares the screen with him. Well, too bad, he just got married. Spike is off the market. I bet it was that gorgeous poodle from “Torchwood” that finally landed a ring.

(source: Cinema Blend)

Oh, and speaking of “Torchwood,” Russell T Davies is about done with science fiction. Says he:

It’s interesting to see how long I can stay in a science fiction world. Personally I think I’m coming to the end of it now, and I’ve saved the world and blown up the world too many times. … It’s time to write something just where people are talking in kitchens after this for me.

I totally can understand that. It’s like how sometimes you get tired of reading novels and so you read the phone book instead. Or when sex becomes boring and so you just start collecting hummel figures instead. Totally understandable.

(source: Blastr)

Finally, just to ensure that you have absolutely no faith left in the universe, CBS just picked up a “comedy” pilot written by, produced by, and starring Rob Schneider. Schneider marries into “a tight-knit Mexican-American family” and I’m sure hilarious hijinks ensue.

(source: THR)

And remember, if you’re starting to question your commitment to Sparkle Motion and looking up noose-tying tutorials on Google, it could always be worse. You could have paid $1500 for a Prince pre-Super Bowl concert that just got canceled because the organizers forgot to buy plane tickets for Prince to get there.









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Comments

Anyone else constantly mistaking James Marsters for James Marsden?

Did you just mistake them?

I'm going to do a google search and see if there is any fan-fiction with Cyclops and Spike going down on each other. I'll report back later.

Posted by: superasente at February 7, 2011 12:41 PM

I know it's banned, so I'll write it longhand: The Prince story made me laugh out loud.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 7, 2011 12:44 PM

Thank you, Mrs. Julien, for showing some restraint.

CBS just picked up a “comedy” pilot written by, produced by, and starring Rob Schneider. Schneider marries into “a tight-knit Mexican-American family”

All that I have, you hear me? All that I have, to the one who finds those responsible and brings me their spinal cords.

Also, holy shit, James Marsters is 48 years old?

Posted by: TK at February 7, 2011 12:49 PM

I thought the world wasn't ending until 2012?

Posted by: admin at February 7, 2011 12:55 PM

Little known fact, James Marsters is an actual vampire. Hence, his lack of aging from season 2 of Buffy to now.

Posted by: RobP at February 7, 2011 12:58 PM

lack of aging? your kidding right? he seems to aging quite poorly

Posted by: idleprimate at February 7, 2011 1:07 PM

Little known fact: James Marsters is the official best-looking 48-year old on the planet. He has a plaque and everything. Cool, right?

What? No, why would I make him a plaque? That's just creepy. I'd never -- no, it's not a hot glue gun! It's a...what? Gold paint on my face? No, that's my...special Tobias Funke Diamond Cream?

Posted by: esme at February 7, 2011 1:16 PM

Davies no longer doing Sci-fi? well let us hope that this season of Torchwood makes up for the disaster that was Children of Earth.

Posted by: Lordninja at February 7, 2011 1:37 PM

Spike is married?! To who? Please tell me it's the Buffy-bot. Please. I would settle for an un-dead Anya. No? To an actual human? My day = ruined.

Posted by: staceygarrett at February 7, 2011 1:54 PM

So. Saturday night I watched Primal on Netflix. Good, gory, entertaining, low budget Aussie horror flick. It just happened to end at 11:30, so I figured I'd sate my curiosity and see what was up on SNL, something I haven't done in at least 15 years. Imagine my surprise to see Wayne & Garth. It was kinda funny. Then Dana Carvey's monologue. It was kinda funny. Then the fucking Church Lady. I suppose it was too much to expect them to try anything new. I guess I'll check in again in 2026 and see what they're recycling then.

Posted by: Groundloop at February 7, 2011 2:01 PM

Spike's been married before. I believe he tried to "do the right thing" and marry a woman he knocked up. It didn't last. I hope he's actually in love this time. Those cheekbones can cut a bitch.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 7, 2011 2:08 PM

Worse than the Prince thing:

Buying tickets to the Superbowl, getting there, and then being told at the gate that the seats aren't ready yet.

I mean they haven't been built yet!

Way to go Jerry Jones!

Posted by: John W at February 7, 2011 2:15 PM

Jesus Christ! Marsters is 48?!

I was just watching the first ep of the new Hawaii 5-0 the other day and would never have guessed he was creeping up on 50!

Posted by: Murderbot at February 7, 2011 2:19 PM

AUGH. I decided to catch up on some Daily Show fun and was surprised to hear a very different voice (was on the computer and on another tab). So I changed the tab only to see Justin Bieber's face. I immediately CLOSED it. I honestly didn't realize that I don't like that kid very much. I just found that short bit to be *really* annoying. Guess it's a good thing I didn't try watching SNL.

Le sigh.

Posted by: vdo86 at February 7, 2011 2:40 PM

Dear Mr. Davies,

You say you're finished with SciFi? Good, because I'm tired of you still trying to influence Doctor Who from beyond the series. Seriously, you're going to make him appear on The Sarah Jane Chronicles and basically say he can live forever?! Well that's just FINE if you want to rob the dramatic tension of series. Before this point, The Doctor was creeping up on that doomed 13th regeneration, and with each new face us fans would fear that the end was soon nigh.

Of course, now we can go back to thinking, "Psht! The Doctor can regenerate as many times as he wants to in order to get the job done! Dramatic tension, eat a bowl of dicks!" You've come so close to redeeming yourself as a writer with Torchwood, and yet you still want to kick us fans in the arse for liking you. (Don't think I've forgotten the times you tried to reboot Doctor Who AND Torchwood in an American context.)

To conclude, here's your writing style:

* Start a season arc that's lightly hinted at until the last three episodes that tie them all together.
* Slather your story with gay/pop culture references that seem more shoe horned than organic.
* End the season with 2/3rds of a great three parter, only to disappoint in the dismount.
* Depress audience and most likely get rid of companion.
* Christmas Special.

Here's Steven Moffat's writing style:
* Start a season arc that's heavily tied into the workings of every episode, culminating in a finale that LEGITIMATELY calls back to every episode before it.
* Slather your story with classic references and some choice naughty bits. (After all, adults ARE watching this.)
* End the season with a bigger than life finale that doesn't seem too SciFi for SciFi.
* Cheer up the audience with a rather heartfelt/amusing ending and KEEP your companion, whilst introducing a new one.
* Christmas Special...WITH AN OPERA SINGER AND DUMBLEDORE!

To quote Jim Carrey, "You're entrance was good...his was better. The difference: showmanship!" And THAT, sir, is why I am through with you when you're through with being awesome on Torchwood. Though, to be fair, I give you credit for resurrecting Doctor Who. It's just that Steven Moffat is the better writer/showrunner.

Still friends?

Doc Con

Posted by: DoctorControversy at February 7, 2011 3:58 PM

Well, shit, what DoctorControversy said.

Except I hate Stephen Moffat. I miss when Doctor Who had, you know, science in it.

Posted by: vic at February 7, 2011 4:32 PM

Wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment of this week's SNL. I found myself laughing at every sketch for the first time in a while. Most weren't gems, but they were all at the least amusing, and I am glad I watched it. I mean, come on, that Bieber bit was surprisingly hilarious to me. And their "Roommate" parody was CLASSIC!

Posted by: ChristianH at February 7, 2011 6:03 PM

To all those who are shocked by James Marsters being 48, remember the wisdom of Jack Donaghy:

"Rich 50 is middle-class 38."

Posted by: Lucas at February 7, 2011 6:37 PM

"I totally can understand that. It’s like how sometimes you get tired of reading novels and so you read the phone book instead. Or when sex becomes boring and so you just start collecting hummel figures instead. Totally understandable."

Ha! :D

Posted by: Ender at February 8, 2011 10:25 AM

I wish he got tired with scifi before killing Ianto Jones and not just after....What a shame..

Posted by: Pat at February 8, 2011 4:17 PM