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Looking At These 8 Posters, Which Movies Are Most Likely To Get Your Cash?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | July 26, 2013 | Comments ()


Michael-Fassbender-photo.jpg

canyons-final-poster.jpg

mrbanks-first-poster.jpg

poster-romeo-juliet-2013.jpg

prisoners-official-poster.jpg

train-dragon2-teaser-poster.jpg

vampire-academy-poster.jpg

x-men-dofp-magneto.jpg

x-men-dofp-xavier.jpg




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • How to Train Your Dragon 2 by a mile...

  • I misread the Romeo and Juliet poster's tagline as "the most egregious love story ever told." Right on, Mr. Brain.

  • denesteak

    How to train your dragon 2!!! omg so exciting for that. The first one was awesome.

  • Rig

    FUCK YEAH Vampire Academy! All over that shit!

  • jptaylorsg

    x-men

  • Colleeeeeeeen

    Fassy gets all the monies.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Hey, that poster diesn't have the full movie title on it.

    It should read,

    "How to Train Your Dragon 2: Electric Boogaloo"

  • googergieger

    I don't know, how drunk am I allowed to be?

  • emmalita

    How drunk would you need to be to watch these movies? Kinda tipsy? Fairly buzzed? Blitzed? Unconscious? Comatose? Dead?

  • foolsage

    The X-posters are pretty damned clever, and I'm definitely interested to see Peter Dinklage as Bolivar Trask. It'd also be nice to see new movies with the old cast, but that are not in continuity with the dreadful "Last Stand". This seems very promising indeed.

    "How to Train Your Dragon" was surprisingly fun. The flaming sword on the poster is intriguing. Plus Jon Snow (Kit Harington) is playing the villain. I'm definitely in for the sequel.

    I'm a lifelong Disney fan, and the cast is spectacular, so I'm also all in for "Saving Mr. Banks". The poster's well done but not novel; still, it provides a fair amount of information without looking crowded.

    I don't want to watch "The Canyons" but would happily read someone's snarky deconstruction thereof. The poster is crap.

    The other posters were of no interest to me.

  • Aside from the X-Men, and possibly 'Prisoners', those posters all give the impression that the movies they promote are all going to be various shades of retarded and/or terrible.

  • LMo

    The X men posters are badass. And please what is a vampire academy? And the most dangerous love story ever told is Laura and the jelly filled Donut. Damned if she does damned if she doesn't.

    That is all.

  • oilybohunk7

    X-Men times a million.

  • Another Romeo & Juliet? Seriously? *sigh*

    Anyway....yeah X-Men, I guess. I'm actually most intrigued by the Mr. Banks movie, because I've heard nothing about it, but it looks to be like Jules and Julia but with Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse? Gonna have to go read more.

    Now if you're talking about which movie I'm actually going to see? I have an 8 year old. No way I'm getting out of HTTYD 2.

    Also, The Prisoners looked for a minute like a sequel to The Road.

  • I just noticed that "The Canyons" was "From the creators of Taxi Driver and American Psycho". Which, ironically, is both the Wikipedia description of and future career of their leading lady.

  • AudioSuede

    Another Romeo and Juliet adaptation?! DO NOT WANT.

  • DarthBetty

    Wait a minute, porn James Deen?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    correct.

  • Mike Copp

    X-Men of course but aside from that, Saving Mr Banks looks good

  • Maya

    Why do Romeo and Juliet have gray hair?

    Also, lol (do people still say lol?) at #forbiddenlove.

  • meadowdancer

    Saving Mr. Banks since Tom Cruise and Emma Thompson.
    Romeo and Juliet since I want to see the adaptation.
    X-Men since though I loved the first one I am seriously scared they threw way too many people in this new one. I know they are trying to bring back the franchise since X-Men the Last Stand and X-Men: Wolverine Origins was just bad.

  • emmalita

    It's been 24 hours and I can no longer maintain my fake rage. I have un-downvoted you.

  • emmalita

    NononononononononononoNO! Please do not confuse Tom CRUISE and Tom HANKS!

    I'm downvoting until you fix it and I RARELY downvote.

  • rum_cove

    The Canyons. I love disaster movies.

  • BWeaves

    Dragon 2 and x-men.

    Maybe, Saving Mr. Banks, but I need to know more about it.

  • Wigamer

    I think it's about Walt Disney persuading the author of Mary Poppins to let him make the movie.

  • foolsage

    In December, 1960, a group of insurgents calling themselves the National Liberation Front formed to destabilize south Vietnam. This group, later known in America as the Viet Cong, had a plan, that until now was known only to a select few.

    On January 3rd, 1961, President Lyndon Johnson severed ties between the United States and Cuba.

    On January 9th, 1961, a massive Soviet spy ring was uncovered in London.

    On January 17th, 1961, President Johnson gave his famous farewell address, in which he warned everyone about the growing threat of the military-industrial complex.

    While all this was happening, an author with the initials P.L.T. met with one of the most influential men in the world to discuss dissemination of materials intended to convert the hearts and minds of children across the globe.

    In a time of trouble and turmoil, one woman was brave enough to risk everything to share the truth.

  • Berry

    Canyons, obviously. Lindsey Lohan is such an underrated young actress. Can't wait to see how her career turns out!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'd like to recommend that in addition to the upvote/downvote, Disqus add a question mark - and then when we can't figure out if something is sarcasm or not (and therefore whether we like or not) we could question mark it.

  • Berry

    Ha, that would be perfect. And for the record, I was being sarcastic. Although it's secretly sarcasm with an edge of some sadness, because... well, because Lohan.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Thank goodness sarcasm.

  • sars

    Hashtag "Forbidden Love"? EW

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    What the hell is that Disney thing? Mickey Mouse and Mary Poppins fall in love?! What's going on? I'm scared.

  • foolsage

    Based loosely on accounts by survivors, "Saving Mr. Banks" is a dreadful and harrowing story about demonic possession, and the price a man will pay for fame. It's about a woman whose creation slipped from her control and changed into something she barely recognized. It's about dancing vermin, and homeless vagrants who abduct children. It's about eternal life and how that relates to vandalism. It's about the loss of innocence, and, from a certain perspective, it's really all about the inevitable entropic heat death of the universe.

    There will be a great deal of singing.

  • Mentalcase

    Dancing Vermin. Yep, band name.

  • sars

    X-men

  • stella

    How to Train Your Dragon 2

  • Archie Leach

    Looks like I'll just continue to surf youtube.

  • Toothless!

  • Michelle

    X-Men, obv. I am only SLIGHTLY embarrassed to admit that I am looking forward to Vampire Academy.

  • L.O.V.E.

    The Canyons has "grab a buzz-in-a-box and MST3K the fuck out of it like its the second coming of Sharknado, with a mix of Behind the Candleabra, with a splash of Lindsay in Liz & Dick" all over it.

    I'm giving 5 to one odds that this movie gets worse reviews than Dean's last feature film with a fame-whore "celebrity", any takers?

  • Captain D

    There's a huge difference...I'd be extremely embarrassed to be caught watching The Canyons, whereas I'd totally own up to watching Sharknado.

  • We have to make a drinking game for it. Gonna be hard to choose among the options, though. Every time LiLo pulls a face, leads with her boobs, over-emotes in an effort to show she can act, under-emotes 'cuz she's stoned. Obviously, every time James Deen speaks it may be necessary to take a drink.

  • L.O.V.E.

    By those rules, I just got drunk looking at the poster.

  • ed newman

    I'll take those odds. That's a pretty low bar to have to dig under.

    And I'd like to nominate the poster artist for photoshopper of the year for managing to make Lohan look vaguely human.

  • I'm not sold on the 'shopping, because it still looks like she's wearing black granny panties under the robe she is too stoned to figure out how to tie properly.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    However will Lindsay Lohan and her cosmetically enhanced lips choose between those two guys who look exactly the same?

    I'm simply to dying to snzzzzzzz

  • Sara_Tonin00

    (oh, wait - I just realized how. Dick size.)

  • L.O.V.E.

    Since when has Hailee Steinfeld been doing Chloe Moretz impressions?

  • It's all relative, as in who is doing more and more interesting work.

  • BobbFrapples

    X-Men And How to Train Your Dragon!!! *bounces around madly*

  • space_oddity

    Julian Fellowes doing Romeo and Juliet? Ugh. Like I needed more than one reason to avoid it.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Maybe if it was BRIAN Fellows?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    A giraffe and an owl fall in love? THAT'S CRAZY. Their families are moral enemies. That Great Horned Owl nurse cracks me up.

  • FantasticMrDix

    X-Men, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Saving Mr Banks get my picks.

    This is the first I've heard of another Romeo & Juliet movie, It looks terrible.
    I don't know what the hell that Vampire Academy thing is but I want no part of it.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    X-Men. Other than that, no.

  • Wigamer

    Is there perhaps a movie associated with the header picture? Like "Smolder," starring Michael Fassbender, wherein he looks into the camera for extended periods of time and says my name in his lovely Irish accent? Also, shirtlessness. That's my first choice.

  • MrFrye

    Smolder 2: The Smoldering.
    Smolder 3: Fassbender Smolder Harder.

  • Wigamer

    That look! It's saying "Darling, you're so beautiful. I love you truly and deeply. The only way to prove the depth of my passion is to BONE YOU SENSELESS." At least, that's what it says to me. Ymmv.

  • Mrcreosote

    Vampire Academy! Higher Stakes! Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
    How about:
    Vampire Academy. No Garlic bread on Sketti night. No steak night at all.
    Vampire Academy. We only have the indoor sports.
    Vampire Academy. Cleaner drains than Werewolf U.
    Vampire Academy. All Goth. All the time.
    Vampire Academy. We have a lot of crap on our standard.
    Vampire Academy. From Zero to bloodthirsty killbeast.

  • cruzzercruz

    The X-Men posters are pretty great, now if only the plot weren't a butchered mess of an adaptation with way too many characters.

  • See, this is why nerds can't have nice things.

  • mairimba

    I've never seen an X-men movie, but those posters give me hope that there're still good designers out there cause everything else is just lazy bullshit.

  • DRAGONS!!!

    Though the X-Men posters are pretty badass.

    The one I want to burn in a fire: Romeo & Juliet. ANOTHER ONE?! Featuring Squintsy McSquint from Gossip Girl? Ugh.

  • Siege

    Agreed -- the original tale of Romeo & Juliet ISN'T EVEN THAT GOOD. It should be subtitled "A Tale of Really Stupid Teenage Choices".

  • WhoDeyKY

    The Canyons, simply to see if it lives up to the NY Times "Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie" article/shitshow.

  • Eve

    These X-Men posters are all kinds of awesome, I tell you.

    When I first heard about McAvoy and Fassbender playing Xavier and Magneto, I thought: "But they don't look even remotely alike" (especially McAvoy/Stewart), now all I can see is the same person, just older.

  • BWeaves

    Much photoshop was involved, because I don't think they look alike in real life, either.

  • Wigamer

    The right side of Magneto's face is like a dead ringer for Ralph Fiennes to me. It's weird.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yeah, just look at the eyes - they are actually pretty different.

  • Ray W.

    Saving Mr. Banks.

  • FrayedMachine

    Only How to Train your Dragon 2 because no to everything else, ESPECIALLY X-Men. Ever since Matthew Vaughn was no longer involved I immediately lost interest.

  • Vivianne ValdeMar

    Ah, but Singer is back!

  • FrayedMachine

    But I hate Singer soooo...

  • Vivianne ValdeMar

    Ummm...

    I kid, I kid!

    o.O

  • X-Men, definitely. Great posters.

    Also HTTYD2, even though I fear it will be a weak sauce sequel.

  • Eva

    Xmen films, hands down.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Ah, How To Train Your Dragon 2. The movie that is already making the internet hot and ashamed for it.

  • kinoumenthe

    And hellooooo, Hiccup.

    … Yeah, apparently, I just thought that. I am ashamed. HTTYD is one of my favourites movies, so that feels weird.

  • Fruity Fonzie

    X-Men, obviously. The Mr. Banks poster is simple and effective, but the trailer makes it look so corny. The Canyons is gonna be the hottest mess ever

  • Vivianne ValdeMar

    So Lindsay Lohan is making movies with porn stars these days?That dude ain't no Traci Lords.

  • llp

    Adventure Time!!

    Also, you are right. The Mr. Banks poster is classic, but the trailer is not winning me over. Although, Emma Thompson.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Wait! They're not Prisoners... of Love?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Oh, that they were. Because you know that a movie involving Jackman, Gyllenhaal and ThunderSex™ would have an audience.

  • emmalita

    The UN has forbidden them from making such a movie because the lions of the world would burn and the world with them.

  • Berry

    Wouldn't they be too moist to burn, though? I mean, I'm no expert, but damp things aren't usually that flammable, right?

    It's a conundrum.

  • They'd experience sublimation, where a solid goes right to a gaseous state without becoming a liquid first. That's usually from extreme heat.

  • emmalita

    That's how much heat would be generated - moist lions would explode into flame!

    Welcome to Disqus!
    edited again - Disqus really really wants you to join. It keeps lighting up your name like you are one of us suckers.

  • Berry

    Fine, Disqus, you win! I'll do it tomorrow at work.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Fasskellen & McAstew, obviously.

  • emmalita

    Dude, I was going to write some clever mash-up, but the I saw your clever mash-up and decided to go with an up vote instead.

  • Mariazinha

    Fassbender and McAvoy get all my money!! Doesn't have to be a movie involved..

  • Mariazinha

    And my obsessions aside, the X Men posters are awesome!!!

  • Brian Martin

    The Canyons & 7 Days 2: "Prisoners"

  • Modernlove

    I will happily see anything with Jake Gyllenhaal's face in it. And those X-Men posters are totally badass. The Vampire Academy one is so weak compared to the books, though. Could have been so much better.

  • Jakesalterego

    I'm pretty sure that crest fails all basic laws of heraldry.

  • Modernlove

    Being familiar with the books, I can take a solid stab at most of the symbols used, but JFC, it's the most unnecessary use of a crest I have ever seen. Too much, TOO MUCH.

  • NateMan

    How to Train Your Dragon 2 and X-Men, bitches! All the way.

  • ZizoAH

    How to train your dragon 2.

    And im sold on anything that has Michael Fassbender's face on it.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Also, you have your movies mixed-up. The (F)assbender was on full display in a movie called "Shame", not "How to Train Your Dragon". The mix-up is understandable.

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