Get Busy Living, Or Shoot Yourself in the Head
Reality TV Just Jumped Into the Shark’s Mouth / Dustin Rowles
Trade News | October 21, 2008 | Comments (18)
You guys remember The Bucket List? Man, what a steaming pile of day-old seminal fluids that movie was. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, about to buy the bucket farm, decide to do all the things that they’ve always wanted to do before succumbing to the big Hollywood blow-job in the sky.
But hey! Wouldn’t that make a great reality television show? Find someone who is about to keel over, and give them their dying wish! You could even have that nice, mild-mannered man who hosts “Survivor” usher in the Angel of Death with sky-diving and Kool-Aid.
Yes, folks, that’s how desperate the networks have gotten. Here’s the way the Probst pitched the show to EW:
That adventure will include reunions with lost friends or formerly feuding family members, a “legacy moment” that will ensure their name carries on forever, and living out a personal dream. “It could be playing guitar with Eric Clapton or jumping out of a plane into a volcano,” Probst explained to EW.com. “Whatever it is that you’re still desiring to do in your life — we want to make it happen.”Probst insists the show will be inspirational rather than depressing. “The focus of the show is not death,” says Probst. “The story we’re going tell is about living. This is a show that is intended to inspire everybody to get the most out of their lives every day.”
And that show’s title: “Live Like You’re Dying.” And what happens if a “contestant” by some strange miracle survives? Probst will personally strangle them to death with his bare hands.
And now, in the words of Morgan Freeman, if it helps me be a reality superstar, I think I’ll get busy dying.
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Comments
Posted by: Skitz at October 21, 2008 5:07 PM
What if somebody's wish is to be thrown into a lava pit filled with lava-proof alligators? They can't do that on television! Or what if somebody wants to be smashed between two flaming semis barreling toward each other on a neon "Highway of Death"? Huh? They can't make that happen! This whole premise is as sad as watching a shitfaced three-year old wrestle a grizzly cub...