Pajiba

I hear they had to invent something called a "Photoshop Lens" to film Cher.
I wonder how it works.

If this is the best that Troy can do, the Goonies were wise not to hitch their star to his bucket.

I literally thought you were joking by the second picture, which looks like a direct chop from Chicago. OH well, it looks like something I will watch... but not pay for.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that most women look better without make-up. I'm a weird dude, I guess, but I like people, not paintings.

Oh god, forbiddendonut may be my new favorite with that line.

This just looks like Showgirls without toplessness. That's like Titanic without a boat.

She's escaping a "hollow past"? Does that mean something?

1. The hair in that last pic is a bad wig. Notice that the part isn't actually a part.

2. Chicago ripoff shot. I hate cleavage you can drive a truck through. Cleavage should be a slit that envelopes whatever you place in it.

3. ". . . fulfill her dreams of being onstage . . ." Yeah, that's like thinking you're a star when you're only in a reality TV show.

4. " . . . and a threat coming from a wealthy businessman’s quest to buy the spot . . ." Sell, you moron.

The plot summary reminds me of Coyote Ugly for some reason. Which probably means I'll see this at 4 am on TBS 2 years from now when I can't sleep.

Why am I spending so much time staring in horror at Christina Aguilera's crotch?

You know why.

You will not diss Cher. She is CHER! I don't care if I have to coat MY face with Vaseline to look at her. It's Cher! There can be none more cool than Cher. The movie does look trashy though, but Aguilera can sing and it's Cher.

BWeaves, who is in this case ironically named, is dead on that Christina is wearing a wig in that last picture. They've also airbushed her crotchal region in the suspect shot.

I have a theory about women and make up:

You get used to looking a certain way and if, for work for example, you wear makeup everyday, you get used to that look and find the way you look without makeup unusual. It's kind of like someone who you've always seen in glasses taking them off and they don't look right to you, or when a man shaves off a long-maintained mustache.

This theory also explains how people like Ann Miller (HATE, HATE, HATE) get stuck in their teal eyeshadow and giant hair phase.

APG-based correction: shouldn't

So Christina's first foray into films is as a Burlesque singer. Who would have guessed?

They could just string several of her music videos together and accomplish the same thing.

You're Cher!

Sara Tonin: I thought that last pic looked like Heidi Montag - Pratt, too.

I love Christina. Love. I still will not see this in the theater though.

Unless if Pajiba reviews it favorably...

Also, after extensive research, I'm pretty damn sure Christina is wearing a bikini-like costume bottom in that second shot. Would that I could have been there to check in person. Not that I particularly like the look she likes to project, but... hey, I'm a dude.

Actually, I used to love Cher... when she was with Sonny Bono. Yeah, I'm that old. She was a young, exotic-looking hippie chick and she sang with a unique voice on some great songs (I hate the expression "classic songs".) Once they split, though, I thought that she really moved to the "pop" side of music and went from being exotic to being different for its own sake. Still, that's just my view, and your comments are always entertaining, so this is me, getting off your lawn (though NOT a kid.) Besides, if you're not into dealing with other women's breasts, then, whatever...

Uriah

If you are old enough to remember that Cher, you may stay on my lawn.

Mrs. Julien

P.S. My comments are entertaining? Scores!

She may not be pretty, but the woman sure can sing.

Mrs. Julien

Thank you.

/pitches tent

*sigh* Burlesque is more about the dancing, the strip tease, and (in modern day) breaking modern conventions of the female image of beauty. Just go see any of the burlesque shows/troupes that are popping up. It's usually more rubenesque women often doing a more comical striptease that's more about what's not being shown, then what is (so, showgirls, it's not). Go watch the last 30 minutes of Gypsy.

So, this will have absolutely nothing to do with burlesque.

I'll still probably see it.