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Don’t Sully Yourself Dave. Don’t Do It!
Late Night Wars / Seth Freilich

Trade News | September 4, 2008 | Comments (12)

leno-and-letterman.jpgSo a guy I know heard from this guy he knows that this other guy said that Jay Leno is leaving “The Tonight Show” next year or some junk. It can’t be true, because the same guy says that Jimmy fucking Fallon is taking over for Conan when Conan takes over for “The Tonight Show” and that just don’t make no sense to nobody.

But, of course, we all know it to be true. Now, after having long ago lost his own shot at running the show that Carson built, Letterman has come to Leno’s defense. See, NBC has kind of treated Leno like shit, insofar as it’s making him stick to his committment to leave the show next spring. And Letterman doesn’t get it:

Unless I’m misunderstanding something, I don’t know why, after the job Jay has done for them, why they would relinquish that. I guess they thought it was a less messy way to handle what happened to me at NBC. I don’t know.

I dunno Dave. But the solution is not — I repeat, is not — to have Leno be a guest on your show. Says Dave:

I think he’d be a great guest on the show. The first night that he is out of a job, I think that would be a great situation.

Seriously dude. Next May, our long national nightmare finally comes to an end. Just let Leno rest in peace, would ya?


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Comments

He's going to get slaughtered by Conan, that's why he wants Leno to stay.

Everyone who watches late night tv just to get to Conan won't need Letterman to help them avoid Leno anymore.

Posted by: Bucko at September 4, 2008 11:48 AM

"I think he'd be a great guest on the show. The first night that he is out of a job, I think that would be a great situation."

Impossible, Mr. Letterman. Although not yet released to the public, I've got pretty solid evidence that after his last show, Mr. Leno will be shipped to the Department of Alternative Fuel Development, where his chin will be shaved off and converted to a more economic source of energy.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 4, 2008 11:51 AM

ahahahahaha! Skitt, you made my day!

Posted by: bibliophile at September 4, 2008 12:18 PM

Dave, you are far too kind. Let Leno be put out to pasture or made into glue.

Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2008 1:30 PM

I believe my love for the Coner Boner is well documented here. Leno can't clear his fucking desk fast enough for me. If it means I can fantasize about making sweet, freckled love to Conesy an hour and a half earlier every night, I'll personally bubble wrap Leno's chin and pack it in a crate next to his prop mug.

Posted by: Mella at September 4, 2008 1:58 PM

Leno sucks and Conan sucks harder.
Dave has always been great but prime is past.
The king of all late night is Craig. That dude is funny.

Posted by: EricD at September 4, 2008 2:00 PM

Jimmy Fallon taking over for Conan is a fucking joke. Just give the job to Joel McHale, people. You know he's up to it, so let Jimmy Fallon fall off the radar and resurface in a few years with a coke addiction on season 18 of The Surreal Life. At best.

Posted by: Lannie at September 4, 2008 2:32 PM

I like both Conan and Letterman actually, but Leno...him and his chin can go...! Fallon is alright...not sure he can handle the whole talk show circuit. Seems a little...I don't know...young?

Posted by: ph at September 4, 2008 5:10 PM

I would pay good money to have Jimmy Fallon assassinated. If I had good money.

But Jay Leno, eh. I know he's not funny, but he's supposedly a nice guy, and he doesn't ruin Cowbell sketches by fake laughing over his line.

Posted by: Lucas at September 4, 2008 5:52 PM

How was it that Fallon stayed on SNL for so long? Honestly, that's an open question - not rhetorical. Why wasn't he fired? How many times did he break character and ruin a skit? I rented the Best of Will Ferrell DVD and just about every fucking skit Fallon appeared in he was giggling like an idiot. And most of the time the material wasn't even that funny! How does an actor who pulls that shit so consistently keep his job? What the hell?

Posted by: ZeeroxFalls at September 4, 2008 6:02 PM

I don't have a creative way to say it, but I hate Jimmy Fallon too. Especially because he paid the Cardinals to throw the World Series just so he had an ending to his stupid movie.

Posted by: Eep at September 5, 2008 6:42 AM

Everyone who watches late night tv just to get to Conan won't need Letterman to help them avoid Leno anymore.

My concern is just that The Tonight Show will kill Conan. I mean, imagine Conan hosting Jay's show. It's an awful thought, and I know the hour difference is going to have some effect on what they'll let him do. I'll have to be convinced that it's not just a complete loss.

Posted by: Jay at September 5, 2008 6:51 AM