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Let's Milk the Crap Outta This Thing

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (28)

avatar-james-cameron-movie.jpg

Seriously? Avatar bored me to tears in its first incarnation so I can assure you I won’t be seeing this re-release with its oh-so-exciting additional eight minutes. But I guess someone out there will be thrilled by the news that Avatar will be back in theaters with that extra footage, August 27th.

It doesn’t seem to be enough that the movie was the highest grossing film of all time; James Cameron really wants to be king of the theater forever and ever, amen. Avatar will be up against Going the Distance, The Last Exorcism, Takers and Centurion (limited release). Gee, do we think it’ll hit number one again?

Regardless, I think I have to wash my hair that night.









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Comments

We rag on the Twihards and forge the Avatards too much.

This should be corrected.

Posted by: Fredo at July 8, 2010 5:12 PM

forgive me Godtopus...

Because of course he did.

Posted by: Lennon at July 8, 2010 5:43 PM

Holy Fucking Overkill, Batman. Did this not make enough money the first time?
Ooooooo...EIGHT whole fucking new MINUTES.
That's just goddamn cinefuckingmatic brilliance, right there.

Now they're not even bothering with "Let's Just REMAKE Everything" in lieu of being original...

Posted by: Rykker at July 8, 2010 5:49 PM

And the scam continues.


Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 8, 2010 6:16 PM

Is the 8 minutes the special twist ending where the human come back with a giant freaking spaceship and blow the entire planet up from orbit?

Because I'd be tempted.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at July 8, 2010 6:21 PM

ARGH. AAAAAARRGGGGGH.

FORGET Baynis. James Cameron is the biggest scam artist FUCK on the planet.

Posted by: figgy at July 8, 2010 6:29 PM

do you need help washing your hair that night?

i'm free.

and you have a lot of hair.

Posted by: gp at July 8, 2010 6:33 PM

Fuck, now my bf is going to keep harassing me to see this pile of crap.

Posted by: Alli at July 8, 2010 6:53 PM

I'll be watching The Last Exorcism, despite the fact that I know it will suck. SO THERE, James Cameron!!! {shakes fist}

Posted by: MM at July 8, 2010 6:56 PM

I didn't see this the first time it was in the theaters, so I could take this as an opportunity to finally catch it on the big screen...

...or I could go to Cindy & gp's slumber party.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 8, 2010 7:47 PM

Oooh, I'll bring the 45's. Records, not Colts.

Posted by: Drake at July 8, 2010 8:23 PM

Yes gp, I do need help with my hair. How you feel about buckets of margaritas?

Come on over Mel!

Posted by: Cindy at July 8, 2010 8:39 PM

at the risk of sounding...cliche.

anywhere in the 8 minutes will we see the legendary sex scene that's been widely talked about?

Posted by: LordNinja at July 8, 2010 10:58 PM

Isn't this what "Director's Cut" Special Edition DVDs are for? That scam is bad enough...

Posted by: Uriah Creep at July 8, 2010 11:03 PM

Ah, what a surprise--a bunch of pissy little haters on this site just dying to trash something successful. Look, people will go see it, so why not release it? It's called Capitalism, people. You know, the foundation of American "culture".

I enjoyed the film and I haven't seen it since it came out, so I'll go see it again (not like there's anything else out there this summer...except for Inception, hopefully).

There's a lot of films I like that I'd go see again on the big screen. I don't care about the added 8 minutes, that makes no difference to me.

Posted by: Doom70 at July 9, 2010 12:02 AM

I enjoyed the movie and look forward to seeing it in the theater a second time. Sans 3D this time.

"Sans" is Latin. That's how ya know I'm smart.

Posted by: superasente at July 9, 2010 12:42 AM

Ugh! Soooooo glad I never watch these big-budget snorefests.

Posted by: Tina at July 9, 2010 1:00 AM

this only just finally left the discount theatres in my town.

maybe they'll just decide to leave it in theatres all year round. come september it will be "now with subtitles in a new font". the christmas edition will have some snow CGI'd in and some subtle tweaks to the soundtrack. next april will be the busy man edit, cut down to 89 minutes.

Posted by: idleprimate at July 9, 2010 4:52 AM

I liked Avatar for what it was: a by the book fantasy film with pretty pretty graphics and a lovely little score. But 8 minutes added to a 162 minute run time is not significant enough to warrant a re-release. Scam.

Posted by: Robert at July 9, 2010 6:29 AM

I have hair, can I come to the slumber party too? I'll bring booze and chocolate. Maybe chocolate liquer?

Agree that this is a scam. At least when LOTR did it they had an extra ~30 minutes or so to add to the films. It was also a scam, but at least it was because the novels were complex and the films could add in some stuff that the book fans missed, or even just character development. Except for two scenes I can think of: Peter Jackson's cameo on one of the ships was pure vanity. Extra footage of his kids as Minas Tirith extras was unneccessary. There were plenty of grieving citizen scenes, more than enough, and they'd already been hobbit kids in the first film.

Posted by: Viking at July 9, 2010 7:21 AM

I agree with Doom70 on this one (apart from wanting to see Avatar again). It's akin to tackling the supply side of dope. So long as demand is there ...

Posted by: SB at July 9, 2010 7:25 AM

I'm calling for a re-boot of the franchise.

Just because it's so absurd. And it's not even a franchise, yet.

Posted by: gunnertec at July 9, 2010 8:46 AM

Frob: nuking the site from orbit is the only way to be sure...

Posted by: bokchoi at July 9, 2010 10:16 AM

What a scam. But of course "capitalism" demands it so it must be done. I mean seeing at how "capitalism" has worked so greatly for making this country such an outstanding example of prosperity and human beauty in every way why should we not keep consuming whatever its great hands and minions grant us, right?

Seriously, are we that depraved of culture to replace it with an ideology that already has been debunked and degraded us to be nothing more than cogs for greed and mercilessness? I for one don't believe that's what America is all about. I mean, do you?

@ Frob: Yessssss shit loads of payloads to blast those damned nerve-fucking blue monkeys and their LSD dragons in oblivion!


Posted by: yocean at July 9, 2010 3:40 PM

och, I was mistaken. Avatar hasn't actually even left the theatres where i live. sigh

Posted by: idleprimate at July 9, 2010 6:59 PM

Okay, here goes: I loved Avatar enough to see it twice, once in the theater and once on pay-per-view. While the story was far from original, I thought it was at least done well. And the cinematography blew me away...amazingly immersive, to the point where the very planet became a full-blown character.

And, yeah, I'll probably go see it when it's re-released, but only when/if 3D is offered.

So what happens now? Do all you cool, cynical kids show up at my locker to make fun of me?

Posted by: boscobarbell at July 9, 2010 9:19 PM

I'd be singing and dancing if this were The Hurt Locker, which out awesomed Avatar pure and simple.

I won't deny that Avatar was aesthetically awesome and pretty as all hell but it was so melodramatic, especially the villain man whose name escapes me). He's not an evil scum sucking man bereft of humanity, he's just a caricature of a proper villain.

Also my eyes hurt like bitches after Avatar!

Posted by: Camilla at July 9, 2010 10:04 PM

The more money this movie makes, the more I will hate this movie. Come August 27th, I might despise Avatar more than I despise X-Men 3.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at July 11, 2010 1:23 AM