free counter with statistics Last Chance Pajiba T-Shirts | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

godtopustshirt.jpg
Last Chance to Get Your Pajiba T-Shirts

Godtopus Is Retiring / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 12, 2008 | Comments (67)

Hey Folks —

Just a short note to let everyone know that the two T-Shirts we currently have on offer, the Godtopus and the Murdertank, will be retired at the end of the week. And we don’t anticipate pulling a Bret Favre. So, if you’ve been eying either one of those Ts, this is your last chance to scoop them up. American Apparel. Eloquent-inspired. $18. A bargain at twice the price. They make great stocking stuffers, particularly for crazy alcoholic uncles.

To order the Ts, just visit the T-shirt page. And if you want to see Godtopus in action, here’s Eloquent Eloquent Genny (also Rusty) wearing the latest in cephaloid fashion, over on Pajiba’s Facebook page.


← Roommate Horror Stories | Child 44 →



Comments

Pfffffffftt! Fine by me - I've got the goddamed thing tattooed on my back...

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 5:04 PM

Whew...good thing I got mine...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 12, 2008 5:08 PM

whooo-hooo...I got mine too, and it is dayum-FINE. I thought to put my pose pic up too when I got mine, but I was, alas, intimidated. There was not many other pics posted and I was all like, whatevs...nobuddy wanna see me when we got british men to salivate over.

Now I'm a little jealous. Pajiban ladies are way hot, no? Frankly, I'm still intimidated.

Posted by: replica at November 12, 2008 5:12 PM

Pfffft, you can keep your Chinese Labor Camp made accouterments.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 5:30 PM

Pfffffffftt! Yeah, accouterments are lame-O! I'm saving my money for a real Octopus that I'll let run around in a glass hamster ball with the air holes taped up. See you around, accourterments!*


[...note to self - look up "accourterments" in dictionary...]

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 5:40 PM

Genny, you are cute!!!

Posted by: BWeaves at November 12, 2008 5:45 PM

Can I ask a favor? Can we establish somewhere on this site a page of links for those who don't speak Pajiba? I referred a friend here and she got thoroughly confused as to the Murdertank, Godtopus, Rainbow Killer etc....

Maybe just a page that links to the comments where this crap originated. A Pajiba primer of sorts.....

Posted by: meh at November 12, 2008 5:47 PM

Oh crap, I didn't mean to type "crap"...it's not crap it's all goodness.....

Posted by: meh at November 12, 2008 5:50 PM

So now what am I not going to win for top comment?

Posted by: Jay at November 12, 2008 6:11 PM

Hee!

Posted by: Julie at November 12, 2008 6:14 PM

...Maybe just a page that links to the comments where this crap originated. A Pajiba primer of sorts.....

Posted by: meh at November 12, 2008 5:47 PM

-------------------------------------------

That's not how we roll esse, it's part of our culture, our struggle...you either get it or you don't, maybe some don't got the heart, the CORAZON, to be a Pajiban carnal.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 6:16 PM

OR, or Mr Slim, some of us have jobs and lives and whatnot and can't keep up with the exploding innercircle vernacular... which pains some of us. Deeply. ...

or whatever.

Hell, I don't understand half of what I read on this site, but I just figure, one day I'll either get or it or I won't. But I will never be part of that inner circle and will therefore spend the rest of my days scratching my head and muttering to myself.

Posted by: Stella at November 12, 2008 6:28 PM

Thanks, BWeaves! Although my inner Tyra is scolding me for not having a neck. I'm still trying the master the art of self-portraiture via built in laptop cameras.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 12, 2008 6:31 PM

"...thoroughly confused as to the Murdertank, Godtopus, Rainbow Killer etc..."

There's a goddam comment diversion right there Rowles! A Pajibanary! I, for instance, can't remember where the hell the whole Taco Dip thing came up... I believe Julie had something to do with it, but I'm not sure the context in which it was first used. Obviously, most folk know what the hell Taco Dip is, but how did it come to fill swimming pools fulla Scabble Tiles? And what, pray tell, is a Pookie? Fuckin' accourterments, anyhow...

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 6:45 PM

*flashes Pajiban gang sign*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 6:49 PM

Oh, CRAP!!!!!! This is sooooo unfair! I've been so close to winning one, and now you want me to buy one, and it's my last chance EVER??? What about PajiCon? What are we supposed to wear? The ladies and I had already decided we'd wear heels, a Pajiba t-shirt and vaseline to our great meeting. What are we supposed to wear now? Vaseline and high heels? That's so fucking sexist.

Posted by: Sofía at November 12, 2008 6:59 PM

Oooh, I better order a Godtopus shirt for my sister for Christmas right the hell now, then.

Posted by: Sarina at November 12, 2008 7:12 PM

YEAH! and the guys, we are gonna wear our Road Warrior get-ups, assless leather chaps, bandoliers, hockey masks ...right?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 7:15 PM

Rowles I think it is time for us to end our feud, I can no longer fight you, what little time I have left must be used to complete my work. Please, let us both end this battle as men of good will.

Posted by: Pookie at November 12, 2008 7:37 PM

WU TANG FOREVER!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 7:45 PM

Awww man noooo! why! whyyyy!

Sofia: which ladies, exactly? I don't remember agreeing to this!

Posted by: figgy at November 12, 2008 7:45 PM

Pajiba are you fucking kidding me? T-Shirts, fucking T-Shirts, which one of your interns from the Wharton School of Bidness suggested that bright idea?

Posted by: Pookie at November 12, 2008 7:47 PM

Sofia, I think you might have just won. If not, I'll share my t-shirt with you.

Posted by: Cindy at November 12, 2008 7:48 PM

Man, I was really hoping to wait for my next paycheck before I bought one. Now you've forced my hand, Rowles. If I default on my next mortgage payment because of this, thus pushing the country over the brink into anarchic rebellion, you can blame yourself. Good luck sleeping at night, you Godtopus damned baby killer.

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 12, 2008 8:19 PM

fuuuuuuuck. now I have to buy both!

you said "currently". does that mean there are going to be further t-shirts available? because i'm naught if not a t-shirt whore.

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 12, 2008 8:31 PM

Oh, Pookie we know you totally own one for each day of the week.

Girly style. Small.

Posted by: figgy at November 12, 2008 8:41 PM

Um...which one did I win cause then I'll get the other. No I won't. I'll by five of each!

Wait! If I know Rowles (and I don't...at all) he's Trademarking this shit and going to make a mint of the blood, sweat and liquor laden tears of the Eloquents! I bet he's got a fucking screenplay already! Rise up Eloquents! Damn the man and get your mother-fucking movie check!

Posted by: admin at November 12, 2008 8:50 PM

Pffft! Whatevs, Jibalords, I don't need a stinking shirt! I heard they was made outta the supple leathers of baby dolphins! MEAT IS MURDER! Anyhooow, I'm having the Godtopus Flesh Cheetoed* into my inner thigh later tonight. And by "having" I mean "doing it myself once the liquor kicks in and I can find the vegetable peeler that's NOT rusty". Godspeed, little Octodoodle, Godspeed...

*Flesh Cheeto Pronunciation: chē-toh • Function:
noun • Definition: drunk people who think tattoos are too tame, decide to carve intricate designs into their flesh using... uh, vegetable peelers and wood-carving tools and dremels and stuff... The removal of skin results in the creation of Flesh Cheetos, thin fragments of skin that are created by removing uh... JUST GO WITH ME HERE! Flesh Cheetos... um, can be breaded and pan-fried using a combination of... uh... (hurk)... um, olive oil and... (HURK)... oof. Gimme a minute here...

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 9:16 PM

.... Ugh. anyone here know how to get Spaghetti-O vomit out of a nineteenth-century rug?

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 9:20 PM

It's a Persian rug, if that makes any difference...

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 9:21 PM

By the way, meh & Stella - that definition was for you. If nobody ponies up a remedy for my rug problems, you two owe me a new one.

It really tied the room together...

Posted by: Skitz at November 12, 2008 9:25 PM

JUST GO WITH ME HERE! Flesh Cheetos... um, can be breaded and pan-fried using a combination of... uh... (hurk)... um, olive oil and...."

Olive oil, AND AND?...come on keep it together! I'm trying to write down a recipe here...what's the estimated cooking time, any marinade action?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 9:25 PM

Well then.....I should be getting my shirt soon, hopefully....Dandy!!!!!

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 12, 2008 9:39 PM

Don't forget to baste the flesh first. It really brings out the flavor...I mean design. A turkey baster works well here, as does a bottle of chloroform to the face of the victim...uh...I mean cook.

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 12, 2008 9:39 PM

The sudden unavailability of Godtopus and MurderTank shirts is creating chaos on our dear Pajiba. This used to be a site where we talked about vaginas and breasts all the time, and now the Eloquents are bringing up the (small) dick talk.

It's only a matter of time before we see "The Last One To Die Turn Off The Lights" ads on the sidebar.

Posted by: Sofía at November 12, 2008 9:47 PM

How was I unaware of this Pajiba facebook page before?

I live under a rock, that's how.

Genny, you are cute as a button, girl.

Posted by: tt_marie at November 12, 2008 10:24 PM

Well, no one ever told me what an American Apparel unisex large actually means on actual human males, and I asked several times, so the purchase was always gonna be a risk without further information.

Posted by: Jay at November 12, 2008 10:30 PM

and now the Eloquents are bringing up the (small) dick talk.

Wait...huh?

Posted by: Jay at November 12, 2008 10:34 PM

.... Ugh. anyone here know how to get Spaghetti-O vomit out of a nineteenth-century rug? The same way you get jizz out of hair: urine, peanut butter and a strong tongue.

Posted by: stipe42 at November 12, 2008 10:40 PM

Skitz I'm calling bullshit on you flesh cheeto recipe. There is no way you peeled off strips of skin and fried them in olive oil.

The smoking point of olive oil is far too low to get that crispy, pork rhind texture. You have to use grape seed or canola oil.

Come on man.

Posted by: admin at November 12, 2008 11:02 PM

Olive oil, AND AND?...come on keep it together! I'm trying to write down a recipe here...what's the estimated cooking time, any marinade action?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 9:25 PM
--------------------------------------------------

Olive oil, garlic, red pepper flakes and one habanero - finely chopped. Marinate overnight, cook over high heat with a little butter just long enough to keep them rare.

For well-done, see admin's comment on grape seed or canola oil.

Posted by: ncnn at November 13, 2008 12:22 AM

After reading this thread, Fucking Crazy Bastards was the only thing that came to mind. Geez I love this place.

Posted by: richmac at November 13, 2008 12:43 AM

Vagouterments?

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 13, 2008 1:56 AM

I just bought mine and I can't wait to get it!

btw, those AA sizes are kinda small right? I mean, I'm a pretty normal sized asian girl, and i still wound up getting an XL... im really worried about shrinkage.

Posted by: dene chen at November 13, 2008 1:57 AM

dene chen - I was thinking about getting a girly xl until I read your comment. No fucking way am I wrestling my 40DDs into an AA girly shirt that size.

Posted by: hoorah at November 13, 2008 4:05 AM

I wonder how much the orders will increase due to this post. I also wonder what that will mean for delivery times, especially since I'm in Germany...
who knows, maybe I'll get it in time for a christmas present to myself

*crosses fingers*

Posted by: tris at November 13, 2008 7:52 AM

I've purchased AA clothing online before from other sites, and they tend to run small, or "athletic fit" and the cool kids are calling it. If you don't want a tight shirt, by a size larger.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 10:02 AM

I am so fucking sick of my retarded grammar lately. I am better than this!

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 10:04 AM

Does it shrink if you don't wash it, like, ever?

Posted by: JC at November 13, 2008 10:26 AM

NONONONONONONONONONONO! I'm still fat! I was waiting until I got back to my fighting weight to order one. Crap crap crap crap crap.

Fine, Rowles. You got me with the hard sell. Mr. Kolby owes me a "push present" anyway.

Posted by: Kolby at November 13, 2008 10:41 AM

I don't know if the clothes shrink or I got fatter. Both have happened in a short amount of time in the past, so I can't really say one way or the other.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 10:53 AM

I thought we were making a wiki for quick reference. A Wikijiba of sorts. The rich mythology is really what brings me back week after week. We're really like the Masons, we ought to have a handshake and shit. I'm already creating a series of clues to find the cache of erotic literature I wrote last winter. Follow the Eye of the Cephalopod!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 13, 2008 11:34 AM

hoorah, i was waiting for a size guide for the large-breasted, but i guess i will just hope for the best. actually, my 34H's will probably make the MurderTank look like a MurderSaucer no matter what, so i just have to live with that. no one ever thinks about the things us big breasted women have to suffer through.

Posted by: pq at November 13, 2008 11:41 AM

pq, I believe a motorbotin' is in order.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 11:54 AM

For those debating size issues, I'm a pretty small girl overall and I got a small which is snug on me. I went a size up from what I'd usually get, being familiar with AA's "sizing" so I'd recommend at least that, but if you're carrying a substantial rack then maybe go up two sizes.

Oh, and I did wash the shirt before I took the picture, so the picture features any shrinkage that would be happening.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 13, 2008 12:41 PM

OK. No time to get caught up on comments now. Glad I already have my shirts, 'cause otherwise I'd be all a-panic. Two things:

1) Does this mean that there will be new Pajiba shirts?! Like, I don't know, WHISKEYBABYNINJASTAR! shirts?! And/or replica's zombie Pajiba shirt?! 'Cause that would be totally awesome!

2) meh I asked about that awhile ago. I think there are a couple of issues. One, is tracking down the originating threads (and then the related ones that built on the initial concept) would be a lot of work and I don't think the Overlords have time. Perhaps some of our industrious Pajibans could get to work on it? And then send those links to Dustin to be put onto a helpful info page.

Two, BSlim isn't entirely wrong about the whole wanting to maintain community thing; however,

Three, for those of us who have times where our work/other lives get so busy we simply cannot keep up with all the going-ons here in Pajibaland, it would be nice to have a reference point to go back to to get caught up.

So, there ya go. My two (or more) cents.

Posted by: tamatha at November 13, 2008 3:45 PM

I have a substantial rack myself....I hope the shirt I get fits.

and PQ.....damn.

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 13, 2008 8:04 PM

I have a substantial rack myself....I hope the shirt I get fits.

and PQ.....damn.

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 13, 2008 8:04 PM

------------------------------------------------


yessssssssssss, continue...

"Substantial" is a VERY, subjective term, we'll be the judges of THAT.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 13, 2008 8:08 PM

Barbado, you know I'm a dude, right?

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 13, 2008 8:22 PM

To be fair, Mr. Rubble, the ambiguously named commenter is rarely male here. Hell, any commenter is rarely male here.

You can only take it on faith that that's a picture of me....but you can't prove it.

I know bucdaddy sees a silver lining, but where I work it's more like 97% female, not just 70%, and no one's running up to me screaming "A MAYYUN!" like the Kittyhawks in "Kissin' Cousins".

Although, I tend to work with your mom and grandma, so that doesn't help either.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 8:32 PM

Ha! I knew it Jay. The Librarian gig is just a front for your stud service isn't it! A stud service that specializes in geriatric trapeze sex with no safety nets!

Brilliant sir, simply brilliant.

Posted by: admin at November 13, 2008 8:48 PM

Oh, OHHHH, would that it were true.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 8:50 PM

I assumed he had seen my profile on the Facebook.

I loved that Kissin' Cousins cartoon....good callback.

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 13, 2008 8:55 PM

Cartoon? Hmmm. I'll have to look that up. I was talking about the Elvis movie where he's gotta help the Army convince the Carolina mountain folk to let them put up a radar station and he meets.........BLONDE ELVIS! Blonde Elvis instantly challenges him. "I'm the champ'in wrasslera Big Smokeh Mowntn! I'll throw ya!" Only "Change of Habit" comes close, I tell ya.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 9:04 PM

Snath, the line forms to your right.

Rubble44, it really isn't my fault, i was born like this--well, i wasn't born with these things, but the potential for them runs in my family.

Jay it is now official, you are my internet crush. i know we can never be together, but i will be your wing-woman any day of the week.

Posted by: pq at November 13, 2008 10:24 PM

Honored, Ma'am.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 10:32 PM

We've successfully received the order for Godtopus.

YAY!

Posted by: jamiepants at November 14, 2008 3:16 PM