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Writers Hired For Candyland Movie: Prepare For Suffering

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (17)

candyland.jpg

It’s really happening. A Candyland movie is really happening. The folks at Universal are opening a gate into the future. And that future is hell. Their names are Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger. They wrote both Kung-Fu Panda movies. I will repeat: they’re writing a movie based on the Candyland board game created by Hasbro.
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I’ll see you in hell.

(via THR)









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Comments

I'm going to cry.
Why!!!!!

Posted by: madclawmannn at March 28, 2011 10:37 PM

I just hope that when I have kids, this sort of utter shit won't be coming out anymore.

And if they try to nag me into taking them, I swear to god I will lock the house and make them watch Hayao Miyazaki.

Posted by: thimble at March 28, 2011 10:43 PM

dude you are wrong for condemning a movie you haven't even seen yet

Posted by: greg at March 28, 2011 10:46 PM

Dude, Glen Berger is also responsible for co-writing the shitty script for the Broadway musical catastrophe "Spider-Man- Turn off the Dark", so I think it's safe to say even kids will hate this movie.

Posted by: jon cortez at March 28, 2011 10:52 PM

they’re writing a movie based on the Candyland board game created by Hasbro.

I’ll see you in hell.

The cardboard game box. You opened it. We came.

Posted by: branded at March 28, 2011 10:52 PM

Wait, not the same one. Sorry for defaming this Glen Berger. He also wrote for "King of the Hill" so, maybe it will be good... But, COME ON... A CANDYLAND MOVIE?!?

Posted by: jon cortez at March 28, 2011 10:56 PM

I'm excited for the implied anal jokes about the molasses swamp.

Posted by: GROOO? at March 28, 2011 11:00 PM

These Candyland fuckers better turn into goddamn robots.

Posted by: duckandcover at March 28, 2011 11:40 PM

Three Musketeers trailer:

Airships and Milla Jovovich as Milady DeWinter - we. are. THERE, BITCHES.

They're just kidding with this Candyland garbage, right?

Posted by: Meander at March 29, 2011 12:48 AM

You don't have to see the movie. Other parents will to kill two hours with their kids. It's just another cheapass money grab. I applaud such things, because they help stimulate the economy and make untalented people very rich.

Posted by: Shane at March 29, 2011 1:43 AM

They've made movies based on board games, theme park rides and websites.

At this point, who can say it's going to be any better or worse? If it's this generation's Jumanji, then so be it.

Posted by: Fredo at March 29, 2011 2:28 AM

Those pricks. I used to gaze at my Candyland game board for hours just letting my child's brain bust a nut over all the colors and delicious candies all centralized in one space. I wanted to BE Queen Frostine. Truly, nothing is sacred to these people.

Posted by: Dingles at March 29, 2011 3:00 AM

It'll be like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on acid. Which reminds me . . . can someone get me some acid for opening night? I want to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on acid on acid. Let that sink in, fuckers.

Posted by: Kballs at March 29, 2011 7:58 AM

dude you are wrong for condemning a movie you haven't even seen yet

Posted by: greg at March 28, 2011 10:46 PM

Are you new here?

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 29, 2011 8:54 AM

Eh, you're plan isn't that complex, Kballs. But it does sound like a good one.

Also, , Jumanji was at least a book first.

Personally, I hope they go the grim'n'gritty revisionist route and make the entire movie about junkies and their circuitous, dicey pursuit of candy.

Posted by: RobP at March 29, 2011 10:56 AM

Also, "candy" means crack.

Also, also, I must be on it, because I totally messed up Fredo's name. My bad!

Posted by: RobP at March 29, 2011 10:57 AM

in the immortal words of Darth Vader at the end of Episode three: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Posted by: Lord-ninja at March 29, 2011 12:33 PM