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Knight and Day Trailer #2

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (18)

Knight+and+Day+movie.jpg

Much shame spread through Pajiba when the first Knight and Day trailer aired, because despite containing Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz in an action-rom-com, most of your overlords were kind of entranced by how … not bad it looked. It seemed to have the full-on action of a Mission:Impossible Cruise combined with the residual charm and wildness that made us forgive him in Tropic Thunder. And Cameron Diaz seemed to kind of meld into that likable blonde thing that replicated Christina Applegate in Anchorman. Could it be a resurgence?

But then the marketing demons decided that they hadn’t lured enough men into to complete Scientology’s insidious sperm count decimation plot, and so they tried to redo the trailer with a little less of the charm and a little more of the vroom-vroom-bang-bang. A little less mugging, a little more blasting, and they thought they’ve got it. But they tipped their hand!

I was duped, but now I can see behind the curtain at what a shameless poor-man’s True Lies clone this is. Gone is the M:I, and back is the Charlie’s Angels Redux. The charm was what was winning me over, but now that I see the bad eurotrash knockoff motorcylical stunts, the cheesy pushme-pullyou kama sutra gunplay, the bad “I’m nervous with a gun one scene, and cocking double handguns in the next”, I’m free. The Wicked Witch’s spell is lifted, she’s done got flushed, and we’re free!

Well, at least I am. Dustin’s still colored impressed. That motherfucker’s been drinking the Kool-Aid with both hands on the glass, and we’re gonna have to wash him free or the Thetans will win. High IQ, easily susceptible, low self-esteem because his site’s losing out to lesser ones? Diaz and Cruise still have their buggy-eyed hooks in him. Someone get TK a twelve-pack and a “Freaks and Geeks” DVD set stat.











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Comments

Is it just me or do Cruise and Diaz look too plasticky? This looks more like a preview for "Mannequin 3: The Highbrow Screwjob".

Posted by: Kballs at March 31, 2010 10:36 AM

For kicks I played it with Explosions in the Sky. It works.

Posted by: ilikepie at March 31, 2010 10:43 AM

If they weren't, like, old it might work.

Posted by: superasente at March 31, 2010 10:58 AM

Hm. I find that the caterpillar (or is it a sharktepillar?) hanging out on Blucas's face is what sets me free.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at March 31, 2010 11:08 AM

There's almost, almost a "Cruise in Collateral" type feel to the character, which would not be bad.

It may be the Ahnuld hangover from yesterday, but I was more reminded of True Lies, which coincidentally also had an almost 50-year-old actor costarring with an almost 40-year-old actress.

Posted by: branded at March 31, 2010 11:12 AM

And I almost thought about using a thesarus for the word almost.

Posted by: branded at March 31, 2010 11:14 AM

Heehee, she's taller than he is.

And, you know, since he's supposed to play this crazycakes character, it kinda works. Because Tom Cruise is super-nutso.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 31, 2010 11:34 AM

Heehee, she's taller than he is.

I hope that was imbued with deep irony, because I know garden gnomes taller than Cruise.

True story, all sets for Cruise movies since 1991 are 3/5 scale, built by the descendants of the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. MGM kept them hidden on the backlot for breeding purposes for 50 years, but lost them to the Thetans in a small stakes poker game in 1989.

Posted by: ZombieScientist at March 31, 2010 12:20 PM

I can't talk about this movie. Too much shame.

Posted by: Smokin at March 31, 2010 12:33 PM

I am still trying to figure out how Riley from Buffy ended up in this movie rockin' a molester 'stache.

Posted by: JenVegas at March 31, 2010 12:47 PM

I wonder how many balance problems Cameron Diaz had when she had to walk on normal ground again and not in trenches.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 31, 2010 12:58 PM

Looks fun to me. Tropic Thunder definitely helped me to forgive him for being a giant (mini?) crazy douche.
On screen, anyway. I'm not saying I wanna hang out with the crazy bastard.
Someone help me out here...did I see a badass Ricky from My So Called Life for a split second? Or was that my imagination?

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at March 31, 2010 1:10 PM

@JenVegas: Seriously. That thing is nasty.

Three pieces of hate for this trailer:

1) Fucking Muse. They are my favorite band in the world, but they keep lending their music to POS movies like this and Twilight. Cut it the fuck out Muse; doing shit like this will never gain you the American audience that has eluded you for years. Unless of course weepy teens and blow-em-up rednecks are your new target audience.

2) The part where Cameron Diaz jumps out and a bunch of (presumably) trained killers/mercenaries unload clip after clip of ammo at her without hitting her even once? Yeah, that shit bugs in ANY movie, and in this one particularly. Partly because even I, Cap'n Stumble von Klutz, could hit her with that many bullets.

3) The "oh shit a car is flying toward us I better bend my body in such a way as to narrowly avoid being hit by it!" move is super lame. No one could calculate and move that quickly.

Posted by: JustBill at March 31, 2010 2:20 PM

Muse, Sarsgaard and Pamplona, I am ASHAMED of you. Riley, I'm not fucking surprised, you donut.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 31, 2010 3:03 PM

AvB,

Further proof that we are the same person. I was equivocal on every other thing in the trailer, but Riley's mustache kicked it over the fence. W. T. F.?!?!!!???!

Posted by: MM at March 31, 2010 3:09 PM

I was trying to stay with it, but the bull fighter part lost me.

Posted by: Blinky at March 31, 2010 3:33 PM

I'm pretty sure I'll actually hate it. But right now I don't. Why? Because it's something I can actually see with my more romcom-oriented friends, and still be entertained. Also, if I set my expectations low enough, I might actually enjoy myself.

Oh yeah, and by setting expectations low, I mean drinking enough. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. My point still stands.

Posted by: kalexal at March 31, 2010 6:00 PM

I'm with Dustin; I'm still in.

Posted by: Eep at March 31, 2010 9:27 PM