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Kirk Cameron Is Going to Save Christmas From You Dirty, Dirty Heathens

By Vivian Kane | Trade News | August 27, 2014 | Comments ()

By Vivian Kane | Trade News | August 27, 2014 |


kcam-xmas.jpg


ALERT! Breaking news from Kirk Cameron: You’re doing Christmas wrong. We’re all probably used to the Fox News xenophobes who see the phrase “Happy Holidays” as being essentially everything that is wrong with America today. But did you know that there are also Christians who put TOO MUCH Christianity in Christmas? Yes, according to Kirk Cameron, we’re all either too Jesusy or not Jesusy enough with our celebrations. Never fear, though. He’s going to SAVE us.

Oh, I see. He’s not going to save Christmas FOR us. He’s saving it FROM us. FOR himself.

Well, EFFFFFF THAT.

My family and I celebrate Christmas early, usually on the Sunday before the actual day. We’ve been doing this for years, because after a few divorces and remarriages and boyfriends’ families and any other number of conflicting obligations, we just wanted a day when we could all be together. We started calling it Festivus as a joke, but that’s now actually what the day is. We burn grievances because my mom won’t let us air them, and there are usually feats of something (last year it was dancing). Not being a particularly religious family for the most part, this has always suited us just fine.

But you know what, Kirk Cameron? If we DID celebrate on December 25th, and we decided to call it “Christmas” because that’s a holiday that’s widely celebrated in America and restaurants and stores are closed that day anyway and because we all know we’ll have it off from school or work so I won’t have to make the 6 hour drive home that same night, then we’re gonna do it however we damn well please. And if the way I choose to spend time with my loved ones in our own private home makes you feel in any way threatened or marginalized, then I recommend you look inward, because that is sure as sh*t where this problem lies, not on my Festivus pole or Christmas tree.

Yes we have both. Because America.

Via Deadline.


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