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Styx and The Stones May Break My Bones but ‘More than Words’ Will Never Hurt Me

Killing Yourself for a Movie / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 17, 2008 | Comments (24)


I’ve got a fairly love/hate relationship with Chuck Klosterman, much as I did with the Sports Guy before he started repeating himself. I love the works of Klosterman — who was once thought to be the voice of Gen X — but I hate the guy for doing it before I could. I mean, come on: There’s nothing in any of his books that most of us haven’t already thought before, he was just the first guy to put them in print. That’s probably what makes him such an easy read — sometimes, it’s like talking to yourself, except for the Billy Joel part. Billy Joel blows, though I will grant that, as far as guilty pleasures go, Joel at least makes for some interesting copy.

To the point: Now that Klosterman’s star has faded (partly because bloggers have replaced his voice), Hollywood has decided to option one of his books for a movie. If I were going to choose one, I’d probably pick Fargo Rock City, just for an excuse to revisit glam metal, but Hollywood has chosen, instead, a book that’s a little more unwieldy in terms of translating it to the big-screen: Killing Yourself to Live. The book is about an “epic” road trip that Klosterman took to visit the death sites of a lot of famous musicians — it’s a great book, mind you. But most of the good stuff revolves around his idle thoughts, his digressions, and his thoughts on his past relationships. It’s kind of like High Fidelity without a plot. It makes for a great book, but whenever Hollywood tries to translate this to the big screen, they usually end up giving up before getting it off the ground (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius) or ruining the book with a terrible fucking movie, e.g., Running with Scissors. Fortunately, David Sedaris has so far been saved from the cinematic treatment (though, there was even an attempt at that). Nice wordplay, humorous anecdotes, cool turns of phrase, and pop-culture ramblings often make decent books, but rarely do well as a feature film.

Klosterman’s idea is to turn it into a comedic road trip movie heavily based on rock n’ roll, but I’m guessing this will never make it out of the script stage. It’s a win-win for Klosterman — he gets the option money, but he’ll never have his words bastardized by a Hollywood hack.









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Comments

How about they finally get around to making a movie about how Courtney killed Kurt,

with a shotgun.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 17, 2008 11:17 AM

i cried from happiness at a styx concert.

true story.

Posted by: celery at November 17, 2008 11:22 AM

I read this book! Sorry, I'm just really excited about letting people know that fact. It's not exactly something that would be easy to translate to movie, unless there was practically unrelentless narration.

Posted by: Cait at November 17, 2008 11:27 AM

Now the Black Sabbath song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Posted by: James at November 17, 2008 11:28 AM

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is still one of my favorite books, particularly for the tidbits about John Cusack and Coldplay.

Does Klosterman still contribute to Spin? I used to buy copies regularly until they started putting Fall Out Fucking Boy, Panic! At the Unnecessary Punctuation, and Beyonce Narcissist Fierce on the cover.

Posted by: Renee at November 17, 2008 11:36 AM

he was just the first guy to put them in print.

I myself was accused of having ripped off his rant against Lloyd Dobler when a friend read "Sex...". "No, that's been the truth for years!"

He's been writing for Esquire lately, Renee. "Chuck Klosterman's America". It's usually in there each month.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 11:46 AM

he was just the first guy to put them in print.

I myself was accused of having ripped off his rant against Lloyd Dobler when a friend read "Sex...". "No, that's been the truth for years!"

He's been writing for Esquire lately, Renee. "Chuck Klosterman's America". It's usually in there each month.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 11:47 AM

Is there a debate thread going on somewhere? As usual, the comments post almost instantly (which you can see if you open up the front page in a different window) even while the page is still churning. Last comment I made I shut off the page where I'd input and it kept it to one. If you let it keep going it's repeating.

Help, Dustin!

(and is some jackass gonna say "My FIREFOX is working just fine!" now?) (Yeah, I'm callin you out, hypothetical misguidedly-elitist person!)

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 11:52 AM

If I'm not mistaken, the Cobain murder/suicide/overdose was part of my opening salvo at the thought of Rowles and TK becoming music critics.

Posted by: Pookie at November 17, 2008 12:12 PM

My Firefox is working just fine!

Posted by: Snath at November 17, 2008 12:54 PM

Hey, so is mine! Must be the magic elitist dust it sprinkles onto the motherboard. That shit is like cocaine for computers.

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 17, 2008 1:19 PM

Actually, now that you mention it, Pajiba is being slow as fuck. I kind of feel like a dick now.

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 17, 2008 1:34 PM

Hey now, I like the Sports Guy. He never fails to crack me up.

Posted by: Mick J at November 17, 2008 1:41 PM

BSlim, every time I read your comments I realize we're soul mates -- who like to mate.

We both love Star Wars.
We both know Courtney killed Kurt.
We both prefer Bond over Bourne.
We know that booboo titty-fuck is a term of endearment.

Oh, Slim... is this lust?

Posted by: Sofía at November 17, 2008 1:53 PM

How... How... Baby, those other girls don't mean a thing. I'm a man and I have needs! Is it so wrong to want a girl who not only can quote Joss Whedon but also will let you put your tongue wherever you want? I can change! I'll learn Spanish! Si! See?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 3:47 PM

Well godDAMN, I guess a lot's happened since breakfast, huh son?

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 4:10 PM

Is it so wrong to want a girl who not only can quote Joss Whedon but also will let you put your tongue wherever you want?

Oh my, Rhyme, are you a salad tosser?????

If you want to change, then go back to your days of cardigans, ties, and Gomez quoting.

Posted by: Sofía at November 17, 2008 4:24 PM

My Firefox continues to work just fine.

It smells like . . . victory.

Linus / Guido '1100

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 17, 2008 6:29 PM

Well, I don't think it was a browser problem after all, but.....go on with your bad self.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 7:22 PM

I don't know how comfortable I'd be buying Esquire, isn't it GQ-ish? I felt awkward the one time I bought Radar Magazine because the Kills were on the cover.

I think I may just stick to Blender, I love me some Rob Sheffield.

Posted by: Annie_Reckson at November 17, 2008 8:13 PM

It's a lot better than GQ for readability, more a slightly uppity men's magazine than a thick, silly fashion magazine. GQ is definitely embarrassing to buy.

However, I'll bet Esquire's in your local library. That's where I read it.

Now go sing at the Star Bar tonight!

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 8:22 PM

Killing Yourself to Live is honestly, one of my Mount Rushmore favorite books of all time (a top 4 where I love all the books equally). It shows insight and brilliance into music, romance, and the life of someone trying to find the meaning of life in the meaning of death. It is a wonderful piece of work that encapsulates my youth and burgeoning adulthood.

That said, this book will make for a terrible movie. The action is minimal and very little of the journey has to do with the original idea (he spends more time talking about old girlfriends than dead rockers).

I just finished reading his first and so far only novel, Downtown Owl, and I actually think that would make a wonderful indie dramedy. Why not option that? At least that has a plot.

Posted by: AudioSuede at November 18, 2008 10:32 AM

Ah! I would have definitely done Star Bar last night, but I thought I had plans with a Jewish guy and gay guy from work (we were supposed to drink cheap wine and gossip since the Jewish guy was gone for the weekend and missed out on a lot). But by the time the plans fell through I was like "Fuck it, I'll just work on a paper and watch the Daily Show."

Posted by: Annie_Reckson at November 18, 2008 10:58 AM

That Klosterman book reminds me of Vogel's book, visiting deceased presidents' graves, it sounds like a great idea actually. Dead rock star's graves are even better. I went to see Jim Morrison's grave in Paris nearly 10 years ago. The cementary he's in is quite amazing!

Posted by: ph at November 18, 2008 3:14 PM