free counter with statistics Ken Burns Criticizes Sarah Palin | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Ken Burns Hates Sarah Palin!

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Trade News | September 23, 2008 | Comments (62)

Who doesn’t love Ken Burns? Actually, I don’t. I mean: I respect the guy, and — in theory — I love his documentaries. Or, rather, I would if I ever watched them. But, I’m a goddamn plebe, and Ken Burns tends to make my eye balls float like a pregnant lady searching for a bathroom. I actually own his entire Baseball documentary (all 10 discs), but I haven’t been able to get past the 1920s. I appreciate the drama he brings to zooming in on still photography, but I need a healthy amount of b-roll material to keep me involved. What can I say? I like my documentaries rife with agitprop.

Still, that doesn’t change my opinion of Burns as a historian — he’s awesome for making history appealing to the masses, if by “masses” you mean geriatrics bored with National Geographic reruns. And, since Ken Burns makes television documentaries, he’s Pajiba subject material, and since he’s also a historian, he’s uniquely qualified to talk about politics, which is the excuse I’m using to run this quote from Burns at a panel discussion at Fordham University:

“(McCain) selected someone who is so supremely unqualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency and he has turned the selection process into a high school popularity contest and an ‘American Idol’ competition,” Burns said. He said that McCain made a “cynical” pick in what he said was the most important decision of his presidential candidacy.

Who knew Burns even knew what “American Idol” was? I’ve long agreed with the statement, though I’ve always thought Palin was a Sanjaya Malakar “vote for the worst” candidate, because wouldn’t it be fun to elect a crazy creationist who thinks that a girl who is raped by her father shouldn’t be allowed an abortion to be next-in-line for the most powerful position in the country! Hey! But she can see Russia from Alaska. But, then again, Tyler Thigpen can see the endzone from his own 20 yard-line, but that doesn’t make him qualified to be a quarterback.


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Comments

I can't think of Ken Burns without remembering the mockumentary that Colbert did before Burns appeared on his show. Absolute brilliance!

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2008 2:12 PM

I would pay any amount of money to have David McCullough narrate my answering machine message.

Posted by: Oh Henry at September 23, 2008 2:24 PM

Meh. The Vice-Presidency is just like working at a fishmarket, except you don't have to clean and gut dead fish all day.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 23, 2008 2:28 PM

Meh. The Vice-Presidency is just like working at a fishmarket, except you don't have to clean and gut dead fish all day.


Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 23, 2008 2:28 PM

Optimus, my lad, you amuse me far more often than not -- but what the hell are you talking about?

If by "working at a fishmarket" you mean that you would become CEO of Gorton's if the decrepit old head fishmonger kicks the bucket then maybe I could come around to your point of view...

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 23, 2008 2:37 PM

At first glance I said to myself, "Do we really care what the all time winning Jeopardy guy thinks about Sarah Palin?"

Posted by: jab at September 23, 2008 2:42 PM

Does anybody else have the MoveOn.org ad above the comments section? The one with the free sticker? I just noticed that Biden looks like an old Val Kilmer.

Posted by: Dave at September 23, 2008 2:45 PM

Optimus:

Have you heard of Dick Cheney? No you don't have to gut fish all day, you send young people to gut others and be gutted like fish in the interests of lining the pockets of your corporate interests. The last 8 years have shown us just how powerful and dangerous the VP position is when it's in the wrong hands.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2008 3:02 PM

Quayle with tits.

Posted by: Diablo at September 23, 2008 3:09 PM

Diablo, no. He's much prettier than Palin.

Posted by: WMD Cessna Palin at September 23, 2008 3:17 PM

Too bad both sides have people unqualified for the job they seek. Biden said last night that FDR was on TV in 1929, although radio had just came on the scene in 1921. That ignores the fact that FDR was not the President, it was Hoover. Obama goes after Graham for his 1999 legislation that supposed to have led to our current situation, Rubin the Sec Tres for Clinton said it had no effect for today's issues.
McCain panders to everyone and Palin can see Russia and therefore is a foreign policy expert; the bottome line is, they are all idiots.

I am just tired of the ire pointed at one person, because if Palin would have made the mistakes Biden has made, she would be humping a moose instead of shooting it.

Posted by: richmac at September 23, 2008 3:26 PM

Is that Heidi Klum holding a big fish?

Posted by: AM at September 23, 2008 3:26 PM

So, Biden makes a few verbal gaffes and Obama and Rubin disagree on the effects of some legislation and that's your evidence for picking on Palin? I don't suppose you're a big fan of deductive reasoning?

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2008 4:01 PM

Hey, what's with the right-wing anti-Obama ad in the upper right hand corner?

I'm for freedom of speech and all, but just not for right wing anti-Obama crazies.

Just sayin'

Posted by: eastvillagenyc at September 23, 2008 4:37 PM

Eastvillagenyc:

Confort yourself with the thought that the anti-Obama people are completely wasting their money by placing that ad here. Embrace the fact that Pajiba gets a little cash out of it and we get to fart in its general direction. I hope we get more of them. There's nothing better than watching them peeing in the wind with their money.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2008 4:41 PM

Dude, they're Google ads. They rotate based on the words in the site pages. That fucking terrifying Bella Sara horsey only happened after all the Twilight bullshit started, because there was so much mention of the name Bella. I guess Donna and I are to blame for that particular side dish of bullshit. Every time anyone mentions anything about Dane Cook, that goddamn ringtone ad shows up, and every time we talk about Tom Crazypants Cruise there are ads for Scientology. That's just how Google ads work.

Posted by: Sarina at September 23, 2008 4:43 PM

I don't understand the use of 'cynical'. Palin is an insulting choice.

This is a serious election with serious problems: economy, Iraq, Putin, North Korea, Pakistan, global warming, China's rise to economic power while remaining communist/socialist. She's grossly un-qualified and it MATTERS. It matters b/c McCain is a 5 TIME cancer survivor with residual torture-related injuries (not including his temper and mental capacities). Last week in an El Pais interview John McCain confused Pres. Zapatero of Spain with Latin America and Zapatistas. Presidential years are very stressful and limping into the White House is not a good thing.

It's not sexist, it's practical and it's called vetting. Biden, Obama and McCain have all been vetted on the campaign trail(s). Now that Palin has entered the national spotlight we have every right to poke around her PUBLIC record. The woman has a dubious educational record, thin political record, frightening fiscal record, and, so far, limited intellectual curiosity or capacity.

Posted by: Amanda47 at September 23, 2008 4:53 PM

Oh yeah?! Well SCREW YOU Mister Ken Burns! Ooh, I made a PBS thing about Basketball and Motown music! Ooh, I'm sooo great! Sarah Palin is as AMERICAN as it gets, buddy! She's a beautiful woman who never did ANYTHING to you. Did she? I didn't think so. Not only is she... well, she's got a beautiful-looking family, a great sense of humor, and she's an average get-to-know-ya gal who could just as well be living right next door to you! She's not some hoity-toity corporate bigwig who's all "politics this" and "legismalative that" - she's a regular gal who's got a chance at turning this country around through faith and good old-fashioned family values! She's got a leper baby that she loves and even though she knew it was going to be a leper baby, she made danged sure to love the dickens out of it, didn't she? So in conclusion, Mr. Bad Haircut and Stupid Face Hair, leave the politics to the people who picked her to lead this fabulous country! Have a happy Toby Keith and a pleasant Badonkadonk to you, you commurnists lover!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 23, 2008 5:47 PM

Oh, dear. I'm going to hell several weeks sooner than I otherwise would have for laughing my ass off at "leper baby", aren't I? I'm pretty sure those are the rules... every laugh at the expense of disabled children costs you a month. It's buried somewhere in the fine print.

Posted by: Sarina at September 23, 2008 5:52 PM

I don't get the significance of Palin being able to see Russia from her house. Unless it's symbolism or silly bullshit like that.

Posted by: Lucas at September 23, 2008 6:25 PM

Sarina, methinks that if that's how google ads work, then they're not the geniuses they proclaim to be.

But, just for the record, I'm all for right-wing crazies spending money on worthless ads.

Posted by: eastvillagenyc at September 23, 2008 6:26 PM

Don't sweat it, Sarina. Technically speaking, leprosy is a disease and it wouldn't be disabling to an infant -- so you're off the hook there.

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 23, 2008 6:53 PM

No, I meant the actual baby. 'Cuz that's disabled, and so I'll go to hell a month sooner 'cuz I laughed at a joke about it.

Posted by: Sarina at September 23, 2008 7:02 PM

"Cynical" is choosing an old, rich, insider establishment white guy for your veep because you don't have the stuff to run the country yourself. At least, that's what they told me when Bush picked Cheney.

Still asking what makes Palin any less qualified foreign policy-wise to run a country than Gov. Clinton, Gov. Reagan or Gov. Carter. Or to be more precise, what made them any more qualified than she is? Not hearing any answers.

The rest of your issues with her ... well, you kinda got me there.

Bob Barr '08

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 23, 2008 7:51 PM

I've been rewind-viewing the The West Wing season 1 the last couple weeks. First thought: all the PBS trustees just had conniption funding fits. If they don't fear losing donations, they know they're going to once again get sharked upon by the religious GOP filth in Congress.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at September 23, 2008 8:05 PM

Boo hoo,
the Democratic party didn't nominate a woman for v.p. so they can't use both the race card and feminist card against the entire voting population....get a life jerks!

Posted by: opus at September 23, 2008 10:18 PM

Don't blame me, I voted for Alan Keyes.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 23, 2008 11:43 PM

What's the deal with McCain's arms, anyway?

Posted by: Rykker at September 24, 2008 2:59 AM

Rykker, They were broken and poorly reset, so he can't raise them above a certain height.

Posted by: The Wanderer at September 24, 2008 6:28 AM

I should have used my brain, and looked that up, rather than ask a stupid question.
Thanks for the answer; my apologies for being a dumbass.

Posted by: Rykker at September 24, 2008 8:53 AM

Don't worry, Sarina- we'll all be there. With cocktails.
Happy Badonkadonk to everyone!

Posted by: architeuthis at September 24, 2008 9:08 AM

Oh the irony of people complaining about the ads of "right wing crazies" on the same page that displays MoveOn ads. Anyone? Anyone? I am guessing these are the same people who obsess about Palin's lack of experience to be VP while totally ignoring Obama's lack of experience to be P. Self awareness is not exactly their strong suit. I'm no huge fan of Palin but get a grip people.

I think I am going to have to take a vacation from Pajiba until the election is over. The smug cloud emanating from this site lately is getting suffocating and has even consumed george clooney's oscar acceptance speech smug cloud. See you on Nov 5th!

Posted by: EL at September 24, 2008 10:37 AM

The point is PaddyDog, neither of them belong there. When does one usually hear the Biden name come out? Usually in presidential election years and then at the end of jokes due to his creative gaffes or copying (see 1988).

The bottome line is, if everyone wants to roast Palin for her lack of experience and views, fine, she should be. Likewise, Biden should be roasted for being an intellectual lightweight and not the type of change Obama has promised.

Posted by: richmac at September 24, 2008 2:22 PM

What Would Sarah Palin Do
(sung to the tune of "What Would Brian Boitano Do"
Link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGvUwx861uc )

What would Sarah Palin do
If she were here right now,
She'd run for VEEP
And wink at you
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

(background vocals "Hot! Gov! Cool! State!"
in lieu of "Fight! Skate! Fight! Skate!")

When Sarah Palin was in the pageant,
Vying for the crown,
Her Alaskan beauty told all in sight
Wasilla was best town.

When Sarah Palin became the gov,
Stopping wasteful pork,
She fired the chef and sold the plane
With Trig en route by stork.

So what would Sarah Palin do
If she were here today,
I'm sure she'd hunt a moose or two,
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

I want a voice to speak for me
One to replace my brilliant Hillary

And I just want Congress
To end partisan gridlock

For Chuck Heston I'll join the NRA too
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin would do.

And what would Sarah Palin do,
She'd leap o'er the Bering Strait
Shoot Putin dead while aiming true,
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

When Sarah Palin travelled through time
To the year 3010,
She debated godless aliens
Saving Christian truth again.

And when Sarah Palin rebuilt the White House,
She captured John Wilkes Booth
'Cause Sarah Palin unblinkingly reps A-mer-i-ca

So let's vote Republican,
And trounce celeb Obama
And we'll elect that old guy too,
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin'd do.

And we'll elect that old guy too,
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin'd do,
That's what Sarah Palin'd do!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 24, 2008 2:27 PM

EL: Yes, Obama is relatively inexperienced. He is not, however, a moron. Therein lies the difference.

Posted by: samantha t at September 24, 2008 8:38 PM

Even though I don't agree with her on several important issues I seriously doubt Palin is a moron. Intelligent and thoughtful people can disagree on complicated political and social issues. Although I am sure it is very self-gratifying to assume that someone who shares different political/social beliefs from you is a moron. Especially if you are eager to believe retarded rumors disseminated about the woman in the leftwing blogosphere (what a reliable source of objective information!). Okay seriously I'm gone now. As a libertarian, the selfrighteous liberal circlejerk this site has become is too much for me to stand, as Wyclef would say - "I'll be gone til November. I'll be gone til November" (although I concede Wyclef would probably agree with you on this issue). I still love your movie reviews Pajiba.

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EL, I'm with you. Outta here until after the election. It used to be fun to come here and read about dopey movies. Now, not so much.

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Palin is a moron for many reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that she's a hard-right religious ultra-conservative, moose-hunting, hockey mom who thinks being close to Russia gives you foreign relations experience.

Wait. nvm.

Well, at least she's protected from witchcraft. You know, in case she has to go to Gabon or something.

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