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July 6, 2007 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | July 6, 2007 |

I can think of quite a few HBO series I’d like to see adapted for the big screen: “Deadwood,” “Carnivale,” “The Wire.” But, believe it or not, “Sex and the City” doesn’t quite make the cut. I don’t share the fascination with and devotion for the show that many people have shown, including one of my former roommates, a polite young man who would come home from work and pour himself a glass of wine before slipping into a green silk kimono and popping in a disc of Carrie Bradshaw’s adventures (and that guy has since then (a) gotten married to (b) a girl). But I have seen enough of the show to know that the few moments of genuine conflict that arose were squandered by creator Darren Star’s equating of empowerment with the financial wherewithal to buy shoes and really ugly tops that somehow became fashionable simply by virtue of their unfashionability. (Not to mention an unbearable voice-over that followed a patter that was beyond simplistic, usually something along the lines of, “While I was doing something uptown, my friend was downtown doing something so similar-sounding yet different that the juxtaposition of the two would make for an ironic transition.”) The show is likeable, and light, and completely over and done, and I think we as a nation are ready to move on, which is probably why it was announced this week that New Line Cinema and HBO are partnering on a big-screen version of the show, with all four female leads — Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon — set to reprise their roles, with series exec producer Michael Patrick King coming aboard to write and direct. There’s no word yet on whether any of the male actors from the series have signed on or will sign on for supporting roles in the film, but unless Ian McShane strolls in and pistol-whips Kim Cattrall for being “ornery,” I’ll give the film a pass. But I’m sure my former roommate will be there, cabernet in hand. Godspeed.

Speaking of aging blondes: Cameron Diaz has been tapped to star in The Box, a horror flick from Richard Kelly, best known for helming the mind-bendingly awesome Donnie Darko. Sure, Diaz only has one good dramatic role under her belt — Being John Malkovich, not Gangs of New York — but I’ve got faith that Kelly can make a horror movie work. It doesn’t hurt that Kelly is adapting the script from Richard Matheson’s short story “Button, Button,” about a woman given a mysterious box (uh oh) by a mysterious stranger (come on), and it’s covered with mysterious buttons (seriously), and she’s warned not to push them or mysterious things will happen (yeah). The whole thing sounds like a decent set-up for some PG-13 scares: Diaz pushes a button, Drew Barrymore falls over and dies, repeat. Who wouldn’t watch that?

Finally this morning, something for the inner Matthew Broderick in all of us (the one from WarGames, not, well, everything else): The trailer for the upcoming documentary The King of Kong, about a pair of guys facing off over the world record for who can play the best game of old-school arcade Donkey Kong. These men, I hasten to point out, are fully grown, and while one looks pretty clean and respectable, the other one is rocking the kind of mullet that says “I either know nothing of social conventions or I simply refuse to care.” You’ll recognize him when he shows up. Director Seth Gordon has said in interviews that he’s been careful not to edit the film into unintentional humor, and that the personal lives of these men are presented with tact and grace; while this is probably true, the trailer skews decidedly toward mockery. The film’s done well at festivals, and has already been co-opted for adaptation as a feature, but I’ve got a feeling nothing can beat the sight of the actual guys pumping quarters into slots like their weird little lives depend on it. Take a gander:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.

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