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Yes! But NOOOOO! But YEEESSSS! But AW NOOOO! YEEEESSS!

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)



justin_tdddimberlake.jpg

I’m just gonna go ahead and set the old Pajiba Membership Card right here on the old ledge, just in case some of you want to take the scissors to it after my next few statements. Because depending on where you stand comically, the following news is going to simultaneously bring you joy and bug the fucking shit out of you.

Justin Timberlake is a fucking great actor, especially when asked to play comedically. Chug a motherfucking liter of Haterade and choke on the baby bitch at the bottom of the bottle, because this is a truer statement than you may ever read. Maybe the damn Disney club knows what they’re doing occasionally?

Anyway, thanks to our talented and handsome friends over at The Playlist ) (you should read them, they’re good, dammit), we’ve got the news that Timberlake is joining the cast of Bad Teacher, which sounds retarded at first, and then you read the power behind the project. And it’s a fucking googleplex lottery as to whether this will blast off or fail.

The script is from Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (“The Office,” Year One, Ghostbusters 3) and it’s gonna be directed by Jake Kasdan (Zero Effect, Orange County, Walk Hard). Go ahead a take a moment to trace back over those mini-CVs I tossed up there. I’ll be over here, scratching my fucking noggin. Cripes, it’s like looking at a Final Four bracket. Sure there’s some obviously quality picks in there, but there’s some hard core shit as well.

Surely, a quick gander at the cast will help us tip the tables as to whether it will rise or fail? Joining Timberlake will be starring with Cameron Diaz and her supporting cast of Jason Segel, Molly Shannon, John Michael Higgins, Eric Stonestreet (“Modern Family’s” Cameron), and Lucy Punch.

Yeah, fuck it. This is like a goddamn coin toss. Again, for most of the marquee talent, I’ve either loved or loathed them — with the notable exception of John Michael Higgins, who I love with a Colbert-like fervor as well you should (he’s a MIIIIIIIINDTAKER!)

If I were a betting man, I’m going to say this is gonna be a monster fucking hit. The premise is unusual, but in stuff like this, it doesn’t even matter. Also, the release date is out in 2012, so the world could come crashing down before I get to be proven wrong. But I think this motley combo is gonna destroy, and I’m gonna actually put it on Cameron Diaz’s performance getting that ego boost shot in the arm from her kind reception in the forthcoming Knight and Day. I think this could be good.

So come with those scissors if you dare, bitches.









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Comments

Snip. Snip snip snip.
Ok, the only bit I got left is "Yeah, fuck it."

Posted by: rajah rabbit at March 3, 2010 9:47 AM

"So come with those scissors if you dare, bitches."

Starts janking on the chainsaw cord.

Posted by: Magiel at March 3, 2010 9:58 AM

I agree, actually. I'm even getting close to letting myself be excited about this one.

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at March 3, 2010 10:05 AM

Prisco also loves my husband, a-Mistah-JUSTINTIMBALAAAAKE?? I feel justified in my love for him now. I mean Justified. No need for scissors, dear Prisco. That was a fantastically written bit of trade news, delivered with as much pent-up enthusiasm as I feel.

And he's going to be playing opposite his ex-girlfriend? What a pro.

I had no interest in the film before, but you can bet I'm interested now. Thanks, Prisco. Don't tell JT, but I secretly love you. My husband, JT, must never know about our forbidden love.

And I just re-read what I wrote and realized that maybe what I need is one REAL boyfriend.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 3, 2010 10:06 AM

Does this Bad Teacher thing have a story? Did I miss that somewhere?

Cast-wise, I'd probably see it, to be honest. I think the Prisco is dead on about Timberlake. He has great timing. Jason Segel is my love, Molly Shannon has been and can be hilarious when she's not totally over the top, or playing Molly Shannon Playing A Character. I've only seen Stonestreet in Modern Family, but based on that, I enjoy him very much. And John Michael Higgins, like Jane Lynch, should be in everything ever. Diaz... well, she *can* be good in comedies, it's just that her hype got in her way for a while there. Maybe now that it's died down (like, A LOT), she'll start acting again.

Yeah, I'll probably wind up seeing it. Wait, what was the story again? I missed it. Is there a story? Is it a bad story? Well, how bad could it be, really?

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at March 3, 2010 10:12 AM

And don't tell her husband, JT, but I secretly love Jelinas. Apparently, though, her husband, JT, must never know of our forbidden love.

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at March 3, 2010 10:14 AM

If it's not rated R, it'll be a suckfest. I do agree with you though, Prisco, Justin is a funny motherfucker.

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2010 10:20 AM

I love John Michal Higgins. "I shall have..... A BIIIIIRTHDAY CAKE!"

Posted by: Mikey Likes It at March 3, 2010 10:34 AM

To be honest, I left the story description out, because I don't quite understand the premise myself. Diaz is playing a schoolteacher who's out to golddig one of the other teachers. Segel's a gym teacher. Timberlake's playing another teacher who won the lottery (?) or has a huge settlement of some sort. Higgins is the principal.

And yes, this best be R or else forget it. But Stupnitsky and Eisenberg have yet to do an R rated comedy, so....

Posted by: Prisco at March 3, 2010 10:57 AM

Jelinas,
my only real thoughts on this were: Cameron Diaz, didn't they date? Didn't she not deal with it well? So that could be interesting.

Posted by: Jen K at March 3, 2010 11:06 AM

Considering the fact that they're clearly stunt-casting this jam (the tabloids are squealing with giddy anticipation and premature ejaculation), this movie will probably blow.

And not in the good long and hard way either. In the, "You're not even trying to work for this crisp 20 dollar bill!" kind of way.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 3, 2010 11:19 AM

Twenty Dollars! The day I pay twenty dollars for a blow job will be the day I call Thursday!

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2010 11:32 AM

Bring it on down to Omeletteviiiilllleeeee.

Posted by: Katers at March 3, 2010 11:40 AM

admin 20 American dollars! That's like, 4.5 moose knuckles, eh?

Posted by: Kayanne at March 3, 2010 11:59 AM

And don't tell her husband, JT, but I secretly love Jelinas. Apparently, though, her husband, JT, must never know of our forbidden love.
Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at March 3, 2010 10:14 AM

Wait. WHAT?! WHY YOU TWO-TIMING WHORE! I am this close to calling off our gay wedding. THIS CLOSE!

You cut me deep, AvB, too deep.

Posted by: tamatha at March 3, 2010 12:09 PM

Oh, Future Gay Wife, no! It's just a passing thing, I swear! You know how those things go: you work alongside somebody every day, you develop a little infatuation, a little crush... but it's always short-lived! You know you're the one I wanna be gay wives with, baby!

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at March 3, 2010 12:49 PM

A secret shame gone public. The kid is talented. He backs up his persona with hard work and talent. And yet kinda sneaks up on you.

Haiti telethon? Brilliant
SNL? Excellent comedic timing
SNL? Comes with a good band and good music
Live concert on HBO at MSG? Rocked the house
Presenting? Classic, understated

AND:
Punk'd? Best IRS themed punk'd ever

Posted by: Bananapanda at March 3, 2010 1:23 PM

Bows to Prisco, hands him back his Pajiba card with honors.

Yeah, I'm ashamed to admit that I agree with you. Plus: Cam from Modern Family! He's TOTALLY my favorite!

Posted by: esme at March 3, 2010 1:30 PM

Oh. OK, then. I feel better. I'm really sorry about calling you a whore. You know I don't mean it, baby. Sometimes, you just make me all crazy. Let's kiss and make up.

Posted by: tamatha at March 3, 2010 2:21 PM

I'd watch almost anything Kasdan does based on the strength of his prior work.

That said, of course, I have yet to see Walk Hard.

Posted by: Eep at March 3, 2010 6:09 PM

I feel justified in my love for him now. I mean Justified.

I saw what you did there.

Well, if we're all confessing our love for JT's acting, let me throw my hat in. He's one of the best SNL hosts they've had in years. I was even thinking of watching "The Love Guru" just to see him... but I haven't worked up the nerve yet. I'm only so masochistic.

Posted by: Meli Mel at March 3, 2010 6:17 PM

"I’m just gonna go ahead and set the old Pajiba Membership Card right here on the old ledge, just in case some of you want to take the scissors to it after my next few statements."

Awww, hon, keep your Pajiba card. As a matter of fact, hand it over and I'll punch it for you. You could get a free sandwich!

Posted by: greer at March 3, 2010 6:54 PM

I am so sad that I went to sleep after posting that comment and missed my secret lover AvM having a catfight with tamatha.

Love flows freely here at Pajiba.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 3, 2010 8:04 PM

AvM/tamatha/Jelinas/bunk

Posted by: , at March 4, 2010 12:10 AM


















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