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Justin Long Gay Marries Mike White

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (29)

youreacliche.jpg

It’s a fairly common joke now that, part of the reason we should allow gays to marry is so that they can suffer the same marital pitfalls as the rest of us. Well, Justin Long (the Mac Guy) and Mike White (the creepy dude from Chuck and Buck) decided to turn that joke into a video, with amusing results.

It certainly drives home the point, too. Come on: Let’s anchor the gays. Trap them in the institution. Fact: A married gay man is 20 percent less likely to convert your child into the homosexual lifestyle.










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Comments

I want that surfboard.

Posted by: Lexie at June 7, 2010 8:37 PM

Fact: A married gay man is 20 percent less likely to convert your child into the homosexual lifestyle.

wtf? Tell me that was a joke.

Posted by: EricD at June 7, 2010 8:59 PM

Aw shit. Don't force me to like Justin Long. He had points for Galaxy Quest, then there was a bunch of mediocre stuff, then that Die Hard fiasco...I was all set up to hate on him, you bastards.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at June 7, 2010 9:02 PM

@EricD that's a play on all the complete horseshit statistics that the prop 8 supporters ran in TV/radio ads.

Because we need a world with less love in it, we just have too much now. Think of the children!

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at June 7, 2010 9:04 PM

I'm sure it was, EricD but maybe we can get esme to clarify it, she's very persuasive.

Posted by: snapnhiss at June 7, 2010 9:09 PM

Oh. oh, shit. I think I just found Justin Long completely adorable and irresistible. HELP.

Posted by: AnnieKar at June 7, 2010 9:29 PM

Married gay men are also 32% more likely to try and gay up your heterosexual husband.

Posted by: admin at June 7, 2010 9:36 PM

Justin has two internet news stories today, this video and the fact that he loves going down on girls:
http://www.celebitchy.com/103914/drew_barrymores_boyfriend_justin_long_loves_performing_oral_sex/

Posted by: Mebe at June 7, 2010 9:41 PM

I have been a Justin Long fan since the days of Ed... he was a stammering teenager not sure what was going on... much like I wish I could have been....

Posted by: El L Cool J at June 7, 2010 9:45 PM

Married gay men are also 32% more likely to try and gay up your heterosexual husband.

Posted by: admin at June 7, 2010 9:36 PM

More likely then who? Gay men who aren't married? Women? Puppies? Cause I have been gayed up by a puppy or two in my lifetime.

Posted by: EricD at June 7, 2010 10:25 PM

That was actually very good and kinda sad. I always imagined the gays as being happy.

Posted by: adam at June 7, 2010 11:40 PM

I need some stats on how likely a Lesbian is to try to gay up a married woman.
I'm not married, just into doing some research.

Posted by: frank (aka frank_247 aka the lone Scotsman) at June 7, 2010 11:53 PM

60% of the time, it works every time.

Posted by: figgy at June 8, 2010 12:38 AM

Well I routinely try to gay up married women but I doubt that I alone provide a comprehensive enough analysis on which to base a percentage of the prototypical norm for lesbians.

As for legalizing gay marriage, I have routinely argued with homophobic family members that it is the most conservative issue the gay community could fight for. It is asking to buy into the American dream of the 50's. Plus think of all the extra money divorce lawyers could be making.

Posted by: Morgan Lefai at June 8, 2010 1:42 AM

Those darn GAYS! Always with the marriage and shit. Can't you just be satisfied with being hipper, snazzier, cuter, and all around more FABULOUS than the rest of us?

Actually, I think all marriage should be banned. I hear it is the leading cause of divorce, and we really need less divorce, what with our morals and family values and all. I mean, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 8, 2010 1:55 AM

Plus think of all the extra money divorce lawyers could be making.

Well, and on a slightly more positive note, many have pointed out how more money would get spent on catering, wedding venues, flowers, invitation printing, that type of thing.

Save the economy! Let the gays marry!

Posted by: MM at June 8, 2010 2:26 AM

MM, I am pretty sure all those industries are already predominantly gay owned and operated. So, it might just be trading dollars.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 8, 2010 4:07 AM

Is it just me, or why do I think that "the gays" sounds much more homophobic then just saying "gays" or "gay men and women"?

And yeah, I agree with EricD:

Fact: A married gay man is 20 percent less likely to convert your child into the homosexual lifestyle.

That doesn´t really sound tongue-in-cheek enough...

Posted by: Zean-Chris at June 8, 2010 7:53 AM

Clearly, people can't be trusted unless the sarcasm font is utilized.

Posted by: Phaeolus at June 8, 2010 8:39 AM

I know it's fake and all, but that clip made me sad. And it's not even 9 am. Dammit, Dustin.

Posted by: stardust at June 8, 2010 8:52 AM

Just showed this to my 92yr old grandmother and it only served to strengthen her seemingly long-held belief that "the gays" is a purely American phenomenon.
Yup, that's right. No gays here in Central Europe, not counting the imported kind we tolerate for their tourist dollars...
Next week on "Omi in da Haus": How sitting on public toilet seats causes AIDS and why every word should have at least one Umlaut...

Posted by: cinekat at June 8, 2010 9:52 AM

Frob, thank you for putting Galaxy Quest in my head this early. That will make me smile all day! Oh Alan Rickman, how I love thee.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at June 8, 2010 10:06 AM

snapnhiss, you're making me blush. Meet non-procrastinating me, she's much more apathetic and concise.

Posted by: esme at June 8, 2010 11:12 AM

Even knowing that THIS is how it would turn out, I'd still marry Justin Long.

Posted by: Drake at June 8, 2010 11:27 AM

Next week on "Omi in da Haus": How sitting on public toilet seats causes AIDS and why every word should have at least one Umlaut...

cinekat, as someone who worked as a nanny in Austria and had to deal with quite possibly the most batshit crazy Omi of all Central Europe, this totally made my day :)

Posted by: RedRightAnkle at June 8, 2010 1:36 PM

Is it just me, or why do I think that "the gays" sounds much more homophobic then just saying "gays" or "gay men and women"?

Yes, and that's why it's funny. I can't say that I've ever heard an actual modern homophobe use "the gays"; I've only seen it used by anti-homophobic folks as a joke on the bigots. (Source: I'm one of the gays, therefore I know everything.)

I confess I have loved Justin Long since his brief appearance in Zack & Miri as... yes... a gay.

Posted by: jules at June 8, 2010 5:59 PM

I thought Justin Long was great in Glen and Gary Suck Ross's Meaty Cock and Drop Their Hairy Nuts in His Eager Mouth.

Posted by: Franzibald at June 10, 2010 12:56 AM

Why the fuck even is there a post/blog about this cocksucker fag vs pc guy?
kike rat asshole deckless shemale motherfucker.
because of that ugly shit, I didn't enjoy the Die Hard movie.
the most annoying itchy butt you can ever find.
eat shit n die!!!
she's ugly, fuck ever her name is, Justin! Timber-dick up his ass or Long-cock lover.

by the way, is it just me or Leno(TS) is extra gay-ed up this year?

Posted by: joe at July 30, 2010 4:19 AM

Mike Whte= and Amazing Race contestant/bisexual son of gay pastor/Cesar Millan client...

Posted by: Jerry at September 9, 2010 5:11 PM