free counter with statistics Judge Dredd Remake | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

Dredd460x276.jpg
In the Future, One Man is the Law

Death! Court’s Adjourned / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | December 22, 2008 | Comments (62)

Word all around the interwebs is that DNA Films — the studio behind Sunshine and 28 Days Later — has officially greenlit a remake of Judge Dredd, the Sylvester Stallone dystopian future flick that wasn’t Demolition Man (the major difference between the two was the out-of-place Taco Bell product placements in Demolition Man because, obviously, Taco Bell is the food of the future —as we all know, evolution will be reversed in 2012, the year that an earthquake merges the cities of San Francisco, San Diego, and Los Angeles). I don’t remember much about Judge Dredd, though I’m fairly certain that Sylvester Stallone played a judge, spoke in monosyllables, and shot his mother, played by Estelle Getty. The rest is kind of a blur of mumbletard. (Fun Fact: Dredd’s director, Danny Cannon, who had a very contentious relationship with Stallone during filming, said he’d never do a film with an A-list actor again. That motherfucker followed through, too — he directs episodes of “CSI” for a living now).

So, yeah: They’re going to remake Judge Dredd, a movie that was basically a different version of Minority Report: Set in the future, judges have the power to arrest, try, and punish/execute criminals on the spot. Dredd, naturally, is framed for a murder, is sentenced to life in prison, and escapes so he can find the real murderer (it’s also apparently an alternate version of The Fugitive). Word is that they’re likely to scratch the film’s storyline and go back to the comic-book source material. And this time, they’d probably be wise to keep the judge’s helmet on the entire film, because apparently the Dreddies weren’t a fan of Stallone removing his, which is why Dredd failed, according to Stallone. Because it had nothing to do with the fact that it was one helluva shitty film. And the Eagles loss last night had absolutely nothing to do with Donovan McNabb’s belief that his star receiver was the ground. Granted, the ground had better hands than his receivers.


← Yes Man Number One at the Box Office | Night at the Museum 2 Trailer →



Comments

"Stallone played a judge, spoke in monosyllables, and shot his mother, played by Estelle Getty. The rest is kind of a blur of mumbletard."

Estelle Getty played Stallone, spoke in mumbletard, and shot a monosyllable, played by a judge. The rest is kind of a mother of a blur.

Now that's a movie!

(I miss Estelle Getty!)

Posted by: Pants at December 22, 2008 10:12 AM

'nother remake... what a surprise.

Well, the old one had Diane Lane, so it wasn't all bad.

I hope the ground got MVP for the Eagles. I thought it did quite well for them ('Skins fan. Not that that's anything to be be gloating about, really. I'll shut up now...)

Posted by: Rykker at December 22, 2008 10:13 AM

Yes, Judge Dredd was a bad movie; but it was so bad it was funny. Some College buddies of mine threw it into their action movie marathon right before Graduation in '06. (Stallone, Norris, and Schwarzenegger were all represented.)

I still remember how for days after we kept shouting (with exaggerated accents) "I'M NOT ABOVE THE LAW, I AM THE LAW!" I miss college.

Posted by: Mike R. at December 22, 2008 10:16 AM

Before we know it there will be a petition for a Titanic remake. Because we all need a different take on a story we all know the end of. Like in most remakes.

Huh, people really are stupid, aren't they?

Posted by: Sofía at December 22, 2008 10:16 AM

Before we know it there will be a petition for a Titanic remake.

Bah! You cannot remake perfection! That is, unless you cast Celine Dion in the lead. That would be glorious.

Posted by: admin at December 22, 2008 10:19 AM

I must work "mumbletard" into three conversations today, which will be hard, because I plan to be home by myself all day ...

Anyway, "helluva shitty" films that maybe had a germ of a good idea are the ones that SHOULD be remade. Maybe they can get "Dredd" all the way up to merely "damn shitty."

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 22, 2008 10:20 AM

"Demolition Man" at least had the decency to make fun of itself.

"Dredd" was excerable. Not quite LXG excerable but maybe I only think so because I'm not as fond of the source material for JD.

Posted by: twig at December 22, 2008 10:24 AM

For a period of time at least they were remaking good movies. Now they are switcing to the tepid at best, why? Are they that far out of ideas?

I am guessing that Stallone was such a force back then, he put a remake clause in the movie contract. This was done to extract cash from the public when he was dead and buried or dying from steriod overload.

Posted by: richmac at December 22, 2008 10:29 AM

I will whip "mumbletard" out inappropriately at the drop of a hat. That has to be the most divine word in all of creation, next to "beardsplitter."

Sofia, the year is 1997. I am standing outside a theater, in line to see Alien: Resurrection, a much smaller line than the more recently released boat romance. I say, loudly, "I've seen it. The boat sinks, the boy dies."

Having not seen it, (but figuring it out fairly quickly) that little lie got me into the best fistfight I have been in to date.

It was with women. I bled through most of my movie, making Ryder's performance bearable.

Posted by: Dagon at December 22, 2008 10:31 AM

nice stool softener add, good thing it has sound for those of us with real jobs.

Posted by: not amused at December 22, 2008 10:37 AM

I, for one, am glad they are remaking crappy movies. Unlike the classics, they didn't get them right the first time. If everyone just left well enough alone we never would have gotten Buffy the TV series. Sure, it's a lonely example, but it's something.

Posted by: Ed Newman at December 22, 2008 10:39 AM

Dagon, I probably would've joined in the fight if I had heard you say that. I was young, stupid, and completely in love with Leo. I still have a signed photo of him. Mmmm young, hot Leo...

Posted by: Sabrina at December 22, 2008 10:43 AM

So the problem was the QB, not the coach who called a 4/1 pass/run ratio (5/1 depending on how one counts scrambles) on a cold, windy night in which the team was only down by seven? Or the eight dropped passes, including at least two sure TDs? Interesting analysis.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at December 22, 2008 10:45 AM

a remake of Judge Dredd, the Sylvester Stallone dystopian future flick that wasn't Demolition Man (the major difference between the two was...

that Demolition Man is actually a pretty decent movie and entertaining to watch, whereas Judge Dredd was a horrible piece of shit.

I think it's fine they are re-making this movie. It can't be any worse than the first one. Better they try to improve on crap than try to re-make really good movies. For the most part, for the latter, the only place you really have to go is down.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at December 22, 2008 10:45 AM

What would Scott Ian say about this though?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ-wFhhv7cs

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 10:53 AM

I met Estelle Getty once at an affair for seniors at which she was supposed to be the celebrity. Most of the seniors were so far gone they didn't know who she was. I think she might have had early Alzheimer's at the time because she wasn't at alll funny or gracious and seemed to think everyone should be bowing before her. The whole thing felt very awkward.

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 22, 2008 10:59 AM

I never understood the fascination for DiCaprio. Never thought he was cute, either.

And that's why I'm Sofía and you're not.

Go, Cher!

Posted by: Sofía at December 22, 2008 11:05 AM

Dustin, why must you mention the Eagles? Are you trying to get stabbed?

:goes back to knitting voodoo likeness of L.J. Smith:

Posted by: Julie at December 22, 2008 11:15 AM

If that's the criteria, then I am Sofia too!

We should start a club.

(admittedly, I thought he was kinda cute all sweaty and dirty in The Beach)

Posted by: Dagon at December 22, 2008 11:15 AM

a Titanic remake with Zack Efron and Miley Cyrus as the leads and instead of Celine Dion the Jonas Brothers, fittingly dressed as paper boys.

Disney executives are salivating

Posted by: goldend at December 22, 2008 11:26 AM

DiCaprio cute? He looks like a pussy cat. Girly and cat-like.

Any other boy trends you never felt a part of?

Posted by: Sofía at December 22, 2008 11:41 AM

a Titanic remake with Zack Efron and Miley Cyrus as the leads and instead of Celine Dion the Jonas Brothers, fittingly dressed as paper boys.

Holy shit. I would make like Slim Pickens and ride that iceberg in myself to make sure the job was done.

"Now let's get this thing on the hump. We got some flyin' to do."

Posted by: branded at December 22, 2008 11:46 AM

Sofía, name almost any popular tv show on CW, and that's a boy trend I am not a part of.

Also, as an aside, does anyone know when Dr Who comes on Scifi? The stupid website does not say anything useful - and I won't have BBC America until the new year.

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 11:57 AM

I meant to add... "cuz D. Tennant IS a boy trend I could be a part of. Oh yes I could.

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 11:59 AM

Stella:

Doctor Who usually airs on SciFi on Friday nights, but if you can't wait for the Beeb, I recommend you Netflix the DVDs because SciFi cuts 5-10 minutes out of every episode and while they claim it's just filler, that they cut, it's not, it's frequently quite relevant to the plot.

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 22, 2008 12:00 PM

because SciFi cuts 5-10 minutes out of every episode

D :

BLASPHEMY.

Posted by: twig at December 22, 2008 12:04 PM

And David Tennant is a 37-year old classically trained actor. Hardly a "boy trend".

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 22, 2008 12:04 PM

An agent-provocateur is what you are Rowles. I get a kick out of watching you ride in on your high horse and riling up the pajiba crowd and start blasting Tyler Perry for his movies, but yet you turn a blind eye towards the remaking of Judge Dredd which was an absolute shit bomb that was dropped on movie goers. Where's our outrage at the makers of Judge Dredd? Your man-crush on Stallone is sad.

Posted by: Pookie at December 22, 2008 12:12 PM

And the Eagles loss last night had absolutely nothing to do with Donovan McNabb's belief that his star receiver was the ground. Granted, the ground had better hands than his receivers.

Rowles! Did your Eagles amnesty expire at midnight? Don't make me put on 18 layers of winter gear and come up there. And I'm gonna need a DeSean Jackson doll too, Servo.

By the way, the Beeb is halfway through S4 of Doctor Who (I hate it when people spell it "Dr." but I'm picky that way) but they cut too. And the next person to call Tennant a "boy trend" is going to get cut.

Sorry, Nicole. My amnesty expired as soon as I lost $15 because your damn Iggles couldn't cover. They couldn't even freakin' win. If DeSean Jackson were Octopussy in The Spirit, all 8 hands would be made of stone. -- DR

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 12:12 PM

SciFi cuts 5-10 minutes out of every episode

The dvd's cut down all the "Confidential"s to make them fit on one disc too. Torrents are the only way to get it all.

Sci-Fi started running the fourth season four or five weeks after BBC started. No idea how they'll run the specials, and I didn't see any scheduled airing for "The Next Doctor" yet at the BBC America site. Of course one could be watching "The Next Doctor" by about 5:00 EST on Thursday, but I'm not making dvd's for everyone dammit!

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:15 PM

I hate it when people spell it "Dr." but I'm picky that way

Yes, I was yelling at BWeaves about that on Friday. My peeves are hair-trigger I tell you!

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:19 PM

Fucking ignorant American cunts!

yes, that means all of you! The new Dredd movie will not be a remake of the shitty Stallone dreck, it will be based on the excellent, satrical source material that the Sly flick missed by a country mile, the Judge Dredd comic strip


You can get all high and mighty about what a fucktard Knowles is, but at least he knows the origins of the movies he writes about

Grud damn it, you Drokk heads!

Posted by: cockroach at December 22, 2008 12:40 PM

I know, Dustin, I know. There's not one good damn reason he dropped that pass in the end zone. Dammit, I specifically ordered a win for my birthday. Thanks a lot, GOD.

Of course one could be watching "The Next Doctor" by about 5:00 EST on Thursday, but I'm not making dvd's for everyone dammit!

*bats extremely pretty eyes in Jay's direction*

P.S. - Let them remake Dredd, but if anyone messes with Over the Top there will be consequences, friends.

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 12:44 PM

Word is that they're likely to scratch the film's storyline and go back to the comic-book source material.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:44 PM

I'll meet you halfway across the sky, Nicole. Or.....something.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:49 PM

Oh, "Doctor Who." I settled the Sci-Fi delay/dilemma the old-fashioned way: one ticket on British Airways, leaving Atlanta tomorrow. It's not a very good long-term solution, but it's a better investment than... most actual investments, lately.

Posted by: Rachel W. at December 22, 2008 1:07 PM

Thank you for putting that abominable song in my head, Jay. Now you owe me. *glares*

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 1:44 PM

You brought it up!

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 1:52 PM

loved the out-of-nowhere McNabb reference. Go Bears!

Posted by: Jordan at December 22, 2008 1:56 PM

For shits sake, I got all excited when I first heard about this remake, I was running around the office yelling "Murder Death Kill, Murder Death Kill". Then I remembered what movie that was from, and images of Dredd creaped into my brain, so I sat down and wept for a while. If you had to remake a Stallone movie, why in the name of all that's good wouldn't you pick Tango and Cash?

Posted by: Xtreme at December 22, 2008 2:12 PM

Xtreme
Fer fucks sake, it's not a remake of Stalone's jacktarded movie, Dustin is just being his comic ignorant self as normal, but as the movie is based on a British comic series, not nearly as many pajibians have called him on it, because they don't know better (which is understandable, to be fair; DC did a shitty job selling 2000AD* graphic novels when they had the distribution license)


*the comic Judge Dredd comes from

Posted by: cockroach at December 22, 2008 2:22 PM

^20000AD, even

Posted by: cockroach at December 22, 2008 2:24 PM

So would "reboot" make you happy? "Unrelated second attempt at the character"? Just a diction disagreement then? I did quote Dustin above in case you'd missed it. Lots of people have heard of 2000 AD. Why, even me and Anthrax! And Stallone has two "L"s.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 2:47 PM

Boys, men, I thought we used those terms indiscriminately. So many men these days act like boys, why not call it as you see it?

And while I normally like my Doctors to look a little weathered, a la Christopher Eccleston, the very young looking Mr Tennant has certainly wormed his way into my heart.

We just started Season 4 this weekend - I must say that I am very disappointed that Martha Jones only lasted one season, as she is without a doubt my favorite companion. And before anyone jumps down my throat about all the classic Doctor Who episodes, let me just say I have never, nor will I ever, watch classic Dr Who. I cannot get past the absolutely shitty special effects. I'm sorry, but that shit just irks me.
Mostly thought, I cannot fathom what the Doctor saw in Rose Tyler that he didn't see in Martha. It annoys Mr Stella to no end that he mooned after Rose for so long.
And I know this is premature, and I've already said to Mr Stella that we will probably come around to liking her, but I really am not very happy with the choice of the new companion. She annoyed the ever loving piss out of me in The Runaway Bride.
I only hope they brought her on to avoid having yet another companion fall in love with him.

*squee* Netflix just emailed Season 4:disc 2 is in the mail for tomorrow! O, happiness!

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 3:10 PM

I only hope they brought her on to avoid having yet another companion fall in love with him.

Well, a lot of fans didn't want to see that again either, it seemed.

You're in for a treat!

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 3:28 PM

Yea, I can see how that gets tiresome quickly.

I just can't wait for the Alex Kingston episodes - I caught those on SciFi on a complete fluke, before I had any idea of who or what Doctor Who was, and I was so impressed with that story.

So far, my favorite episodes had to be, Human Nature (and the follow on Family of Blood), Blink, the Girl in the Fireplace, and the library one - so it's a bit like an early Christmas, I know I'm going to like what I see, I just can't wait to open the present!

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 3:34 PM

Alex Kingston episodes, Blink, the Girl in the Fireplace


All written by Moffat! (he did The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances too) And he's the new showrunner when the next full season starts in 2010.

Also, I'll say once again that I can't even say how much I love Professor River Song.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 3:47 PM

Jay, I completely forgot about Empty Child - that episode FREAKED me out.... I remember coming to bed after watching it and not being able to go to sleep because the image of those people's faces transforming was so ...AH! freaky!!!

lol, i do love how Moffat writes. The, er, revelation at the end of Last of the Time Lords had me and Mr Stella jumping on the couch yelling Oh my god! at the tv. lol. good times. It just seemed like Season 3 ended on such a strong note, continuing the mythology of the Doctor, while linking and explaining past events... all in all, a great season.

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 3:56 PM

The Stallone flick was just a terrible adaptation of a good British comic book series. The new movie will probably suck as well, because Americans can't adapt anything British quite well, plus comic book movies aren't very good.

Posted by: mark at December 22, 2008 3:56 PM

Also, Philly fans really need to stop moaning and stop slagging off McNabb. He's one of the best QBs in the league. Look at the statistics. You idiots are going to drive him out of town, and you'll get nothing but a shitty QB in his place. You people can never be happy. Philadelphia has decent teams in every major sports league, and won the MLB world championship a few months ago, yet can't stop moaning when their teams lose.

I can't wait to see the look on Philly fans in the next 6 years when their team gets consistently slaughtered by Tony Romo and Eli Manning because their only weapon will be Brian Westbook.

Posted by: mark at December 22, 2008 4:04 PM

markThe new movie will probably suck as well, because Americans can't adapt anything British quite well, plus comic book movies aren't very good.

It's being done by a British company, so there's hope. Calling Judge Dredd British isn't quite right, seeing he is an American character, and was created by a Spaniard and an American (albeit an American who's spent most of his life in the UK)

jay I apologise for my first comment, it was stupid a bullheaded, but I just read the article lamblasting the idea of the movie, reasoning that it must probably be crap because the first one was, and nobody pointing out it was a comic before it was a movie (it didn't notice your comment scrolling down) which got my ire up more than it should have, because Judge Dredd is one of my favourite comic book characters. I was being deliberately trollish in a bid to get attention, but I am no Pookie, so that failed idiotically...

I have no way to apologise for misspelling Stallone, that was just pure stupidity.

Posted by: cockroach at December 22, 2008 4:14 PM

how the hell did I screw up the bold tags like that?

Posted by: cockroach at December 22, 2008 4:22 PM

Dammit Jay, we need a place to put you Whovians for people like me that have no idea what you're talking about all the time. Never seen one episode of Doctor Who in my life. It just seems so daunting to try to jump in now.

Posted by: Snath at December 22, 2008 4:40 PM

Stella, I would recommend watching Tom Baker's "Genesis of the Daleks" (I don't suppose it's a big spoiler to say that something'll happen with the Daleks by the end of the fourth series, they always come back). It does look like it was made in 1975 but it resonates a whole lot in this year's story arc. Plus Tom Baker is so much fun he can get one over the crappy look when the stories are good (some of which are Douglas Adams' scripts). "City of Death" with Julian Glover's a hoot. If "Last of the Time Lords" had you jumping around you'll probably outright orgasm in this year's climax since Russell T. gives the audience so much love it'll rot your teeth (some would say he went overboard with fanwank, those people are sad people).

We have no home, Snath. Hunted, despised, living like an animal!

Watch Christoper Eccleston's first episode or two, you'll probably love it or not. If you do, catching up with the rest won't seem like work at all.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 5:03 PM

Snath, I'm the sort of person who is always WAY behind the cool kids. But I usually see the light... after it's dimmed to a soft afterglow of fan love. I was late to the party for Buffy, Firefly, BSG, and Doctor Who... but you know what? It doesn't matter. These shows are good enought to LAST.

Get thee to Netflix pronto, mein freund! Rent Season 1 and sit back and enjoy the genius that is the crew at Doctor Who.

I even like watching the extra, behind the scenes bits - it really hit home how brilliant these guys are... you see a scene in the show, then they take you behind the scenes, and you realize that these actors are having to go through these fantastically poignant emotions, on cue, often with seven grips standing within 2 feet of them.

Yes, I know it's called acting. It's just so rare to see it done so well.

Posted by: Stella at December 22, 2008 5:57 PM

Jay, are you my mummy?

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 6:24 PM

harsh.

Okay then, you wanna play rough?

"Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?"

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 7:10 PM

OUCH. That was not cool.

"Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, Every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives."

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 7:35 PM

Yeah, like Donna's line has no effect on me.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 8:10 PM

Sofia, I never got into the Pittstain thing, nor the Cruise thing, or really any of the pretty guys. I like my boys thin and gangly and strange, like McGregor, and Alexis Denisof. Seth Green and Zacary Quinto are my current heartthrobs right now. (As a note, I met and hugged Quinto at this most recent comic-con. The man is made of muscle and dork. He has an ass you can bounce your Green Lantern trade paperback off of.)

Posted by: Dagon at December 23, 2008 3:38 AM

I"I like my boys thin gangly and strange"
*Checks Breath, Slicks Back Hair*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 23, 2008 4:11 AM

Do you really think that this will be a remake? Are you insane? I am sure that they will have a completely different story line so they can destroy it with Mickey Rourke as the lead. Well at least this time around it will be more gory and the judges will actually "execute" criminals being that DNA films is touching this. If this one isn't good, I will burn my Dredd comic collection.

Posted by: Sir Bloodbath at December 23, 2008 10:44 PM