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December 22, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 22, 2008 |

Word all around the interwebs is that DNA Films — the studio behind Sunshine and 28 Days Later — has officially greenlit a remake of Judge Dredd, the Sylvester Stallone dystopian future flick that wasn’t Demolition Man (the major difference between the two was the out-of-place Taco Bell product placements in Demolition Man because, obviously, Taco Bell is the food of the future —as we all know, evolution will be reversed in 2012, the year that an earthquake merges the cities of San Francisco, San Diego, and Los Angeles). I don’t remember much about Judge Dredd, though I’m fairly certain that Sylvester Stallone played a judge, spoke in monosyllables, and shot his mother, played by Estelle Getty. The rest is kind of a blur of mumbletard. (Fun Fact: Dredd’s director, Danny Cannon, who had a very contentious relationship with Stallone during filming, said he’d never do a film with an A-list actor again. That motherfucker followed through, too — he directs episodes of “CSI” for a living now).

So, yeah: They’re going to remake Judge Dredd, a movie that was basically a different version of Minority Report: Set in the future, judges have the power to arrest, try, and punish/execute criminals on the spot. Dredd, naturally, is framed for a murder, is sentenced to life in prison, and escapes so he can find the real murderer (it’s also apparently an alternate version of The Fugitive). Word is that they’re likely to scratch the film’s storyline and go back to the comic-book source material. And this time, they’d probably be wise to keep the judge’s helmet on the entire film, because apparently the Dreddies weren’t a fan of Stallone removing his, which is why Dredd failed, according to Stallone. Because it had nothing to do with the fact that it was one helluva shitty film. And the Eagles loss last night had absolutely nothing to do with Donovan McNabb’s belief that his star receiver was the ground. Granted, the ground had better hands than his receivers.

Death! Court's Adjourned / Dustin Rowles

Industry | December 22, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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