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Come On, Josh. Turn that Machine Gun Around

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (11)

jonahhexposter2_51448.jpg

After a preview for a preview of the trailer for Jonah Hex debuted yesterday, the movie poster rolls out today (ahead of the full-length trailer due later this week). We here are playing our role as free fucking publicists for the studios by showing you a movie poster for a movie I have little interest in seeing (OK. That’s not true. Despite reports of a disastrous production, I can’t help it. Josh Brolin is magnetic).

My favorite part of the movie poster? That Megan Fox’s name is not on it.


jonahhexposter2_51448 (1).jpg


Synposis: The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.









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Comments

Is it my imagination, or is Megan Fox aiming to shoot off the only thing that gets her movie roles? I wouldn't object, but as a bullet would make short work of her nipple, the trajectory would carry it into the shoulder of the erstwhile hero. We can hope it would stop there (it's a minuscule caliber, I suspect) but if it didn't, it would clip his jaw, too. Looks like it would miss the brain pan (unless her stick-like arm can't handle the tiny recoil), but he might actually prefer that to carrying her through an entire movie.

Also, why are her undergarments reminiscent of mummy bandages? I suppose that might explain the dead, dead eyes.

There, I've wasted more time on analyzing the poster than I will on the movie itself.

Posted by: Reba at April 27, 2010 9:30 PM

Wow, so not really looking forward to this movie.

I actually had a dream about Megan Fox last night. No not THAT kind of dream *sigh* Oh the things she could do with those clubbed thumbs.

But no... A group of us were at some party and she made this lame joke about Will Smith, which from memory wasn’t funny. Then we started saying things like “That joke was your magnum opus, Megan”, or “That right there, was your ‘Good Will Hunting’, your ‘Dead Poets Society’, etc”...

Even my sub-concious isn't a fan.

Posted by: Sagerian at April 27, 2010 9:34 PM

all movie posters look like harry potter movies now.

Posted by: adam at April 27, 2010 10:01 PM

I like how the first stills were trying to assure geeks that Jonah would be this super-scarred badass, while the first stab at mainstream recognition is to make Jonah as purdy as possible, thus rendering the tagline pointless.

Posted by: William Goss at April 27, 2010 10:23 PM

@adam That's teal and orange for you... Apparently the only complimentary colours in existance.

Posted by: Sagerian at April 27, 2010 10:26 PM

You know... she actually was really good in Jennifer's Body. Seriously!

Posted by: Anonymous at April 27, 2010 10:39 PM

Saw a test screening over the weekend, it was God awful.

Posted by: Drew Morton at April 27, 2010 11:51 PM

Her name is on the poster.

And I will see this movie. The poster immediately reminded me of Van Helsing, so why wouldn't I?

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at April 28, 2010 12:44 AM

...anybody else distracted by the guy with his back to the camera?

Posted by: chiefly at April 28, 2010 3:27 AM

My favorite part of the movie poster? That Megan Fox’s name is not on it.

My least favorite part of the movie poster? The fact that she's still on it.

Posted by: Jelinas at April 28, 2010 3:56 AM

Look at that six-barreled thing Jonah Hex is holding and try to imagine his hand in a more awkward position. I don't believe one exists. He looks like he's actually riding a little PeeWee motorbike and they Photoshopped a gun into his hand.

Posted by: James at April 29, 2010 2:51 AM