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Actressin' Ain't Always Bad

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (33)



angelina-jolie-mother-01-af.jpg

Actressin!

It’s only natural, really. Charlize Theron was originally tapped to play the lead in The Tourist, a thriller about “an American tourist who, on behalf of Interpol, goes undercover to entrap a former lover who’s a suspected global criminal.” The film has gone through a ridiculous number of staffing changes — Tom Cruise was originally slated to play the male lead, and has since been replaced by Sam Worthington (a vast upgrade). Director Bharat Nalluri has left, and is yet to be replaced. Now, news comes down that Theron has stepped down, and been replaced by fellow actressin’ queen Angelina Jolie.

Look, I actually like Angelina Jolie as an actress, and I can tolerate Theron as well. But I can’t think of two actors more guilty of actressin’ (that is to say, the art of absolutely trying to hard in your roles) than those two. It’s hard to explain — the best I can come up with is this:

At no time, during any of either of their films, did I ever believe I was watching anything other than Angelina or Charlize acting as someone else. Certainly, they’re both excellent actors in their own way, but I can never buy them as characters in and of themselves. Not like, say, Meryl Streep, or Kate Winslet, or Matt Damon or any number of other great actors who, despite being household names, I still believe whenever I see them on the screen. I forget that they’re actors, and I buy into the characters. That doesn’t happen with Jolie or Theron. It’s always just them, trying desperately to pretend to be someone else.

I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. Am I making any sense at all?

Regardless, that makes the replacement perfect in my mind.









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Comments

Yikes.

That picture is... not flattering.

Posted by: vikky at October 13, 2009 9:51 AM

trying too hard...

Posted by: Ted at October 13, 2009 10:10 AM

Where's my vial of blood? WHERE'S MY GODDAMNED VIAL OF BLOOD!!!!

That's what I hear when I look at that anyway.

Posted by: mrcreosote at October 13, 2009 10:11 AM

Wasn't it Sam Rockwell in Moon?

Posted by: Dan at October 13, 2009 10:12 AM

the only exception i can think of for angelina is 'girl, interrupted'...then again, that's probably b/c she was still something of an unknown then.

Posted by: gem at October 13, 2009 10:16 AM

Actressin' or not, she's still sexy as hell, and of all the big names right now, I think I only find Kate Winslet sexier.

Posted by: George at October 13, 2009 10:24 AM

Yikes.

That picture is... not flattering.

Posted by: vikky at October 13, 2009 9:51 AM
---
I don't see many of her that are these days. She looks like a skull with lips. But then, I never did get all the Jolie love. They should, however, just go ahead and cast her and Megan Fox as mother/daughter in a movie and be done with it. And I don't mean because that would make a great movie, but that while they're actressin' together there's a chance that ... well, let's just say there's a reason Biden and Obama never fly on the same plane. Two birds/one stone and all that.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 13, 2009 10:27 AM

I watch a film with Angelina in it and it just seems to be:

POUT!SCREAM!CRY!SHOOT GUN!POUT!SCREAM!CRY!SHOOT GUN!

It's all fireworks and no depth. Kind of like Michael Bay...

Posted by: missh at October 13, 2009 10:27 AM

Crazy eyes! Ex-girlfriends looking through me after breakuppery! Andrei Chikatilo! Shark Week! Thousand yard stare!

*shudder*

Crazy bitches are crazy, man.

Posted by: Kballs at October 13, 2009 10:28 AM

Bitch needs a cheeseburger.

Posted by: admin at October 13, 2009 10:31 AM

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 13, 2009 10:27 AM

Bucdaddy, that's bullshit. Megan Fox isn't fit to rub vagina's with Jolie, much less star in a movie with her.

Posted by: George at October 13, 2009 10:41 AM

Thousand yard stare!

Posted by: Kballs at October 13, 2009 10:28 AM
---
I've noticed that in photos of them together Brad often has that look. You start looking, you'll notice it too.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 13, 2009 10:42 AM

Once AGAIN, she makes Aniston look like a pathetic scag.

GO ANGIE!!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 13, 2009 10:58 AM

You obviously have not seen Monster then. Not the best movie ever made, but if you've ever seen footage of Aileen Wournous then you would know that Charlize nailed that role.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at October 13, 2009 11:08 AM

Same for North Country, Thereon was amazing in it.

I don't see these two as being in the same category. Theron is less guilty of actressin', in my eyes.

Posted by: Kate at October 13, 2009 11:13 AM

*hi-fives Slim*

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 13, 2009 11:29 AM

an American tourist who, on behalf of Interpol, goes undercover to entrap a former lover who’s a suspected global criminal.

I think I've seen this before, several times, on 24.

Posted by: ed newman at October 13, 2009 11:29 AM

I totally forgot it was Charlize Theron when she had that small part in Arrested Development. But I'll agree with you on Angelina Jolie. I also don't hate her, but I don't really seek out movies where she's not playing a badass. She just plays a badass very well, and everything else, less well.

Posted by: Wednesday at October 13, 2009 11:39 AM

Bucdaddy, that's bullshit. Megan Fox isn't fit to rub vagina's with Jolie, much less star in a movie with her.

Posted by: George at October 13, 2009 10:41 AM

Maybe, but there's only one way to be sure.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 13, 2009 11:44 AM

I have a fondness for Ms.Jolie. I don't know why she's never topped Girl, Interrupted, but I think she's a reasonably reliable actress. And while it's hard to divorce her from her characters on screen, I have the same problem with Johnny Depp and he's certainly a big favorite around these parts.

Also, us skinny girls take exception to hearing "bitch needs a cheeseburger" applied to skinny actresses. I eat cheeseburgers, you can still see my rib bones, so I'm more inclined to give these women the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at October 13, 2009 11:57 AM

I thought Jolie was terrific in A Mighty Heart and yes, I bought into the character. Seems to me better material sometimes brings out the actor's real skills over, say, Wanted.

Posted by: Judith at October 13, 2009 11:57 AM

That picture is... not flattering.

You people are nucking futs. I understand that you expect more because it's Angelina Jolie. Or that you are going to take any oportunity to nit pick because it's Angelina Jolie. But the woman in that picture is very attractive if for no other reason then the smile looks genuine.

Posted by: EricD at October 13, 2009 12:41 PM

Posted by: mandasarah at October 13, 2009 12:52 PM

Eric, I say the smile looks genuine, but the eyes do indeed look like the black, evil shark stare of death. SHE WILL ACT. YOU WILL LOVE HER.

Posted by: vikky at October 13, 2009 1:48 PM

You know the author Orson Scott Card? He wrote Ender's Game. And he (for the most part) haaaaaates Meryl Streep. It actually pretty amusing.

I'm sure it is but OSC is a douche, has always been a douche. Good writer though.

Posted by: ed newman at October 13, 2009 2:21 PM

an American tourist who, on behalf of Interpol, goes undercover to entrap a former lover who’s a suspected global criminal.

I think I've seen this before, several times, on 24.

Posted by: ed newman at October 13, 2009 11:29 AM


Oh, ed, how right you are!!! Now, if we could just get Jack/Chloe involved....

Posted by: dammitjanet at October 13, 2009 3:35 PM

"but the eyes do indeed look like the black, evil shark stare of death"

vikky, I have no idea what you are talking about. I am staring into the eyes of that picture right now and I'm ... it's..

much better then Cats. I'd see it again and again.

Posted by: EricD at October 13, 2009 4:52 PM

I was just saying this to myself last night when I saw that Changeling was on. Jolie's features are so ridiculously striking that I just can't believe her onscreen as anyone else.

And am I the only person on the planet who doesn't think Megan Fox looks anything like Angelina Jolie?

I think she looks lovely, anyway, thin or not.

Posted by: Benny at October 13, 2009 6:50 PM

Theron will always have my respect as an actress for being Rita in Arrested Development.

"I want to have lie down kisses!"

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 13, 2009 7:09 PM

I like her. She's crazy as fuck, but I like her.

I have a problem with the word bitch, though. Too angry.

Try cunt.

It's cuter.

Posted by: Peter G at October 13, 2009 7:13 PM

I believed Charlize as MR F.

Posted by: Will at October 13, 2009 7:20 PM

lets see your MUG Vicky?

Posted by: pasadenamike at October 13, 2009 10:06 PM

I'm sure it is but OSC is a douche, has always been a douche. Good writer though.

Oh, no, yeah. He's incredibly talented, but he's a total douche. And a total nutball. And his political beliefs make me want to slap the crap out of him. But The Worthing Saga is one of the best books I've ever read.

Posted by: mandasarah at October 13, 2009 11:28 PM


















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