John Barrowman Is Set to Host the Summer's Biggest Television Sh*tshow
But this is a new low. John Barrowman -- charming, quick-witted, dashing John Barrowman -- will be hosting a reality competition. A singing reality competition. And not just any signing reality competition, one in which C-list celebrities dress up as iconic musicians. Here's the logline for "Sing Your Face Off': "Each episode will feature the complete physical transformation -- including the icon's walk, talk, mannerisms and more -- as the celebrities compete in front of judges and a studio audience. In addition to being tasked with a physical transformation, participating talent also will have to actually perform music from their assigned icon each week."
And who will sit at the judge's table? Debbie Gibson, whose biggest contribution to pop culture in the last 20 years was a bad SyFy movie -- and Darrell Hammond. But wait! It gets worse! The "celebrities" assigned to compete by dressing up as other celebrities are Sebastian Bach (yeah, the guy from Skid Row and, um, "Gilmore Girls"), Jon Lovitz, Lisa Rinna (whose husband is killing it on "Mad Men"), basketball player Landry Fields, and teenage Disney Channel actress-singer China Anne McClain
Oh, Captain Jack. Please use your vortex manipulator and travel to an era where you are appropriately appreciated.