Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Penn in Three Stooges

So Committed to Role in Three Stooges, Jim Carrey Decides to Eat Wife

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (41)

Because I have absolutely no choice but to report it, as it’s as big a casting story as you’re likely to hear this month: It’s been confirmed that Sean Penn, as reported over a month ago by FilmDrunk, will play Larry in the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie. Not only that, but Jim Carrey has also been signed on to play Curly, a role in which he’ll gain 40 pounds to fit the part. As for Moe, apparently Benicio Del Toro is in the running to take on that role.

Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn, and Jim Carrey. In the same movie. A comedy, no less.

Dollars to donuts, Jim Carrey goes all method, and either Del Toro or Penn beats the living crap out of him before the shoot is over. Can you imagine? Sean Penn is already the most humorless bastard on the face of the Earth, and Del Toro often looks as though he’s searching for an excuse to kill the son of a bitch who botches an eye gouge scene.

That’s going to be a fun set to work on. They should get Christian Bale to play Shemp, and then take bets on who hands out the first neck choke.

As previously reported, The Three Stooges won’t be a biopic - it’ll be an episodic series of Three Stooges shenanigans. The Farrellys will be working from of their own devising.

I’m still convinced this is all an elaborate hoax, and that somehow Joaquin Phoenix is involved.

Follow @pajiba

← Medicine for Melancholy Review | The Game Trailer →

Comments

Ahhh, you're a lifesaver, Dustin! A story that can't upset me. I feel better already.

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 6:51 PM

Huh?

Posted by: rayliota at March 25, 2009 6:55 PM

what was that? ron howard is directing lacey chabert in a lana turner biopic?

i wasn't paying attention.

Posted by: gp at March 25, 2009 6:57 PM

Sean Penn might not be humorless any longer since he's supposedly boinking Natalie Portman. What were you recently saying about her age, Dustin?

Posted by: Cindy at March 25, 2009 7:06 PM

i'm sorry, that just does not compute. please say again in real words.

Posted by: lizzieborden at March 25, 2009 7:07 PM

....what?

No.

Posted by: figgy at March 25, 2009 7:29 PM

HAHAHA! April Fools!

*checks calendar*

Oh, fuck me.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 7:41 PM

Great googl(e)y moogly it people.

Posted by: Cindy at March 25, 2009 7:45 PM

I'm not sure why, but this entire post has tickled me hilarious. I'm not sure if it's Dustin's incredulity or everyone else's, but I'm giggly.

Posted by: Sean at March 25, 2009 7:53 PM

Nobody has yet explained to me exactly why this movie is being made. Seriously, what's the point?

Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 8:01 PM

It's a bit like when I saw 12" George Burns dolls in Toys R Us. "Who is this made for?"

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 8:05 PM

Wait, Jim Carey is still alive? What day is it? Wednesday? Oh right, carry on then, nothing to see here.

Posted by: the_wakeful at March 25, 2009 8:27 PM

Jay, I dunno what's funnier to me: you're incredibly apt comparison, or the fact that you were in a Toys 'R' Us.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 8:32 PM

^your

I need to stop posting while watching We.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 8:32 PM

while watching We.

And I'm the one needing mocking.

One day you're gonna have to face the deep, dark truthful mirror.

Besides, it was eleven years ago! I think I was in there to either get the Power-FX X-Wing or the boxed set of Final Fantasy VII figures. But then that doesn't even matter and I haven't been there in a while just because there hasn't been much good stuff to buy. I did want someone to get me that Tumbler w/Batpod for my housewarming party, but no dice! I'll have to get it on my own. That thing's great!

"What's the point of being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes?"

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 8:48 PM

Eleven years ago I was ten.

There is nothing wrong with watching We. It's like a trashier Lifetime.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 8:52 PM

This is a terrible idea, not one of these men specializes as a comedic actor, (Carrey's better as a dramatic one for those of you who question me) and the Farley's used to be funny before it became obvious that they were crooked, now they're embarrassing. This is an awful idea.

I feel sorry for Carrey.

Posted by: George at March 25, 2009 8:54 PM

"....and it's gonna tell you things that I still love you too much to say"

And like you didn't already know I've got a sonic screwdriver that can write in invisible ink.

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 8:54 PM

*vomits*

This information makes me feel like I did after I did after I saw the Indiana Jones 4: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull(fuck).

My dad stated that Jim Carrey would burn in the 7th circle of Hell for eternity many years ago for raping his childhood Christmas memories with the live-action raping of The Grinch. I defended Jim at the time, because I was still coasting from the glory days of The Mask.

Now, it's my most treasured childhood memories being raped and looted. I say now, that Jim Carrey will burn for eternity in the 7th circle of Hell for making this movie.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at March 25, 2009 9:06 PM

I have one of those too, Jay. And I Time Lord Pocket watch.

Fantastic.

Posted by: dsbs at March 25, 2009 9:07 PM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 9:10 PM

I want to have the job where I can come up with completely pointless ideas for movie remakes. Like, a live action version of Huckleberry Hound starring Kevin Costner and Paris Hilton. Or Metropolis made with an all-talking-dog cast.

Do you have to be mentally deficient, or just do a lot of drugs?

Posted by: Wednesday at March 25, 2009 9:46 PM

the Farley's used to be funny before it became obvious that they were crooked, now they're embarrassing.

"The Farrelly Brothers will start shooting this when they finish the soon-to-be epic masterpiece Walter the Farting Dog with the Jonas Brothers."

Yeah, pretty much.

Posted by: Jay at March 25, 2009 10:17 PM

I can't imagine Del Toro or Penn in a Farrelly brothers movie.

Posted by: Eep at March 25, 2009 10:43 PM

I know I'm going to get a "pick two" for this but ... they couldn't find somebody Curly's size who could play Curly? Not a single XXXXXL actor could pull this off, they have to pack 40 pounds on Jim Carrey?

I don't get the point. It's like when they take a gorgeous actress and ugly her up or fat her up for a role. There aren't any homely, fat actresses who could use the paycheck?

Anyway, Larry was always kinda gay, prancing and mincing and batting eyelashes and getting slapped around for it (he's the woman of the family, with Moe the father and Curly the baby), so Penn should know by now how to play that part.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 25, 2009 11:06 PM

For once I can say, who cares!? Huzzah The Stooges: Squinty, Surly and Choad.

Posted by: admin at March 25, 2009 11:45 PM

is penn playing another retard?

Posted by: pasadenamike at March 25, 2009 11:47 PM

I usually like you, admin, but them's fightin' (eye-gougin', forehead-slappin', hair-pullin') words.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 26, 2009 12:01 AM

bucdaddy you would kick my ass. My Stoogejitzu is non-existant. I have no idea what the appropriate blocking counters would be.

Posted by: admin at March 26, 2009 12:41 AM

Holy shit! I looked it up, and Walter the Farting Dog is a real movie! And it really stars The Jonas Brothers!

Why are we allowing this to happen?!

Posted by: George at March 26, 2009 1:08 AM

Jay!!! stop being so saucy-hot with all the elvis costello, would ya? I mean it! It's distracting.

Posted by: replica at March 26, 2009 2:06 AM

Jay, I desperately want a 12" George Burns doll now. Does he come with a little cigar?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 26, 2009 2:23 AM

He completes the set along with the 12" Jack Benny, the 12" Bob Hope and the 36" Milton Berle.

Posted by: MrCresosote at March 26, 2009 6:12 AM

This is actually listed (as 'rumored') on IMDB, but of the above actors it only mentions Sean Penn as Larry Fine. Johnny Depp is listed as playing Moe.

This oughta be a craptastic bomb of epic proportions, regardless of who is casted.

Posted by: Rykker at March 26, 2009 8:11 AM

Not that I dislike the Stooges, but I think any attempt to bring them to the big screen, with anyone other than the originals, will fail miserably.

Posted by: Rykker at March 26, 2009 8:14 AM

So you're advocating Zombie Stooges-the movie? Nyuk nyuk nyuk nom nom nom.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at March 26, 2009 9:12 AM

WhyIOughta...

Posted by: Rykker at March 26, 2009 9:53 AM

"Jay, I desperately want a 12" George Burns doll now. Does he come with a little cigar?"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 26, 2009 2:23 AM

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHA!
Yeah! Um, I have a dirty mind and so do you.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 26, 2009 10:39 AM

If Del Toro tells me to laugh, I will. That's one scary muhfugga. I mean, he brings the sexy, but still.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at March 26, 2009 12:39 PM

I remember getting the Shemp-vibe from Del Toro when he was the dogboy in Big Top PeeWee.

But Moe? No.

And they couldn't have picked three unfunnier guys to play 3 of the most entertaining gents in cinema history.

Woo Woo Woo and a poke in the eye to the fools who greenlit this fuckery.

On the other hand, look at all the money the Farrelly's are helping me keep in my pocket! YAY!

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 26, 2009 1:31 PM

He completes the set along with the 12" Jack Benny, the 12" Bob Hope and the 36" Milton Berle.

Ha! The legend lives on in toy form!

Posted by: ed newman at March 26, 2009 2:09 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

So Committed to Role in Three Stooges, Jim Carrey Decides to Eat Wife

Comments