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Pajiba Presents: A Whole Lot of Nothing

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (41)



mad-max.jpg

It’s another one of those mornings where there’s quite a bit of meaningless news, none of which warrants belonging in a round-up, much less a post of its own. But I’m a creature of habit. I like routine and scheduling. And I have an 11:00 EST trade-news spot to fill, so you get to be the beneficiary of all these sub par developments.

The first item, and by far the most interesting, is really just a casting rumor involving a fantastic actor half of you aren’t even familiar with: Jeremy Renner, the impressive star of The Hurt Locker and the now cancelled “The Unusuals.” According to Renner himself, he’s fighting for a part in George Miller’s new Mad Max movie, a film that may not even happen. And if it does happen, Renner will be one of hundreds of men competing for a chance to replace Mel Gibson. But this is different: Jeremy Renner actually expressed interest to a local newspaper in Modesto, California. And, so far as I know, no other actor has spoken to the Modesto Bee about their interest in Max Max. I think that makes him the frontrunner, folks!

In other news barely fit to print, Michael Moore has revealed that his upcoming Capitalism: A Love Story will probably be his last documentary, at least for a while. Moore has decided to turn his attention to feature films. “I have been working on two screenplays over the last couple of years. One’s a comedy, one’s a mystery, and I really want to do this,” said Moore. Great idea, Michael, because your first feature film, Canadian Bacon, was so bad that it killed John Candy. Please don’t cast John Goodman.

The real reason, I suspect, that Moore is turning his attention away from documentaries? Because he doesn’t have a Republican administration to beat up on right now. All but one of Moore’s documentaries was released during a GOP administration, and the doc he released during the Clinton years, The Big One, was his least successful movie except for, well, Canadian Bacon.

What else? Lee Unkrich, the director of Toy Story 3, revealed on Twitter that Tom Hanks’ character, Woody, actually has a last name. It’s Pride.

See, I told you it was a slow news day.

Believe it or not, though, that’s more interesting than this: Wayne Brady is lined up to host a new version of “Let’s Make a Deal,” for CBS. The game show will fill the slot vacated by the cancellation of “Guiding Light.”

Finally, I leave you with three new movie posters , for The Surrogates, Priest, and The Informant, in that order. (Click on the hyperlinks if you want to know more about the movies)

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priest-poster.jpg


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Comments

Mad Max without MadHatter Gibson is not even worth considering. As for Moore's previous foray into comedy, your slam just goes to show how out of touch you are with what "funny" is supposed to be.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 3, 2009 11:05 AM

I am not sure about Jeremy Renner. I hear he's great in The Hurt Locker (I haven't seen it), but I thought he was pretty bad (bland, boring, etc.) in 28 Weeks Later (then, again, save that beginning scene, that entire movie pretty much sucked) and I saw him playing Jeffrey Dahmer in Dahmer on free cable one night. I stayed up way too late watching it and it was really boring. I do not have positive associates with Mr. Renner.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 3, 2009 11:06 AM

Wait a minute...that's not Bruce Willis....

Posted by: figgy at August 3, 2009 11:08 AM

Who is the actor on the Priest poster? I would have sworn Peter Weller but he's looking a bit craggier than that, these days.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at August 3, 2009 11:10 AM

RE: The Surrogates. Wasn't that scene already done in a Star Trek Next Generation movie when Alice Crige (as the Borg queen) lowers her head and spine into a body?

Posted by: BWeaves at August 3, 2009 11:11 AM

Is that RoboCop in "Priest"?

Posted by: TylerDFC at August 3, 2009 11:12 AM

Yeah the poster for Surrogates is kind of disconcerting. You see the robot girl and then Bruce Willis at the bottom and your eyes jump back up to see if maybe Bruce Willis is somewhere in the poster and you missed him.

Posted by: Alice at August 3, 2009 11:12 AM

Figgy: You just haven't seen Bruce Willis with a wig on.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 3, 2009 11:17 AM

Slim, I've got your back on this one. Maybe it's a Michigan thing but I thought Canadian Bacon was great.
BORN IN THE USA we were BORN IN THE USA. We were BORN IN THE USA we were BORN IN THE USAAA.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 3, 2009 11:19 AM

Also re: the Surrogates poster, that woman is clearly meant to invoke Angelina Jolie, and yet I'm pretty sure she's not actually IN the movie.

So, uh, WTF?

Posted by: MM at August 3, 2009 11:20 AM

Neodiogenes- Paul Bettany.

Posted by: Nimue at August 3, 2009 11:25 AM

Duh! That's Bruce Willis' surrogate. A faux-gothy Angelina Jolie/Cameron Diaz mishmash that decided to remove part of its torso in lieu of another tattoo. Bruce is a little weird.

Jeez people, pay attention.

Posted by: Kballs at August 3, 2009 11:27 AM

Is that Paul Bettany in the 'Priest' poster? I miss him.

Posted by: Mimi at August 3, 2009 11:29 AM

oi vey. here's the priest synopsis i found:

Based on the comic book by Min-Woo Hyung, Priest centers on a warrior priest (Bettany) who disobeys church law by teaming with a young sheriff (Gigandet) who is part vampire and a priestess to track down a band of renegade vampires who have kidnapped the priest's niece.

Posted by: gem at August 3, 2009 12:01 PM

Canadian Bacon is awesome.

Yes, this is Eep saying this, so you know the shit is true.

Posted by: Eep at August 3, 2009 12:03 PM

god dammit when did the unusuals get cancelled? i actually kind of liked that show.

Posted by: buttercup at August 3, 2009 12:08 PM

that woman is clearly meant to invoke Angelina Jolie

I thought she was supposed to be Megan Fox.

Jeremy Renner was also in the excellent Angel episode Somnambulist. He is largely what made it awesome.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 3, 2009 12:24 PM

It's nice to see the lead singer from Midnight Oil is branching out...

Posted by: Skitz at August 3, 2009 12:32 PM

That Informant poster is Damon-tastic.

Posted by: Christian H. at August 3, 2009 12:45 PM

Christian H., you couldn't be more right.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at August 3, 2009 1:05 PM

I'm kind of bummed out that the mere image of Paul Bettany's face is enough to get me excited while simultaneously lowering my expectations of a film.

Posted by: Annie UhOh at August 3, 2009 1:26 PM

Annie UhOh--you just summed up all of my response to the Priest poster.

I'm still holding out hope, though, that Bettany can make it into a good movie one of these days...

Posted by: avocadolime at August 3, 2009 1:33 PM

I'd agree thats Bettany...mostly because the eyes made me shiver while at the same time nailing me to the wall with INTENSE!!!!!!!!!

As for Renner as Mad Max...it's gonna be just me who gets excited about this, isnt it? Cos I think it could be a big stinky barrel of fun

Posted by: Nadine at August 3, 2009 1:42 PM

I thought she was supposed to be Megan Fox.

Touché.

I think the first time I saw Jeremy Renner was in S.W.A.T., which was not only a "meh" movie, but he played a douche who ended up being a bad guy, so I kinda didn't like him. But then I saw him on a episode of House and he was AWE-some. Although Mad Max DOES NOT need to be remade, I could totally see him in it.

Posted by: MM at August 3, 2009 1:46 PM

I love the quick plot synopsis from imdb for Priest:

A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Man, whoever wrote this is going to be the richest kid in the middle school D&D club when the residuals start rolling in.

Posted by: Eep at August 3, 2009 2:00 PM

That Surrogates poster looks like a Jolie/Fox hybrid to me. Then again, maybe she was designed to be a rorschach test of sexy, and we're all seeing what we want to see.

If I'm right, then friends I give you the future of the adult entertainment industry! We won't pay humans anymore, we'll just build sexy rorschach robots that do horrid things to each other and us humans can just watch as they do things us humans would never be able to do with our mere fleshling bodies. You'll start seeing pornos with women spinning in place on top of men, you'll see mach speed circle jerks, and most disconcertingly since robots can formulate complex calculations you'll start to see scenes that look like they're from an Anime (or deleted scenes from G.I. Joe). We're talking two robots running towards each other, leaping in the air and...angling each other to connect bodily.

I think I have enough ideas now for my own draft of "Transformers 3". If you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go craft our doom.

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at August 3, 2009 2:15 PM

I could have sworn that the last time I read anything on Mad Max they were planning on doing another sequel, kind of ignoring Beyond Thunderdome and that the film was going to include the son of Max.

I had heard that they were thinking of Heath Ledger after The Patriots because of how much he looked like he could be Gibson's son. Granted this won't be happening now.

I also thought they were filming this once with Gibson, or about to start, and the war broke out so they canceled filming. I.e. because they were using the deserts in the middle east and it was cheaper then trying to film it in the states.

Am I right about this? Or have I been drinking to much lately and my mind is slipping.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 3, 2009 2:36 PM

I saw him playing Jeffrey Dahmer in Dahmer on free cable one night.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 3, 2009 11:06 AM
---
Don't pay your bill or shinny up the pole?

I think I know what you mean, but just in case I got news for you: It's ALL pay cable, some you just pay more.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 3, 2009 2:49 PM

Or have I been drinking to much lately.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 3, 2009 2:36 PM
---
There's no such thing as drinking to(o) much. When you drink juuuust enough your body shuts down automatically. It's a perfect system.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 3, 2009 2:52 PM

Heath Ledger after The Patriots because of how much he looked like he could be Gibson's son. Granted this won't be happening now.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 3, 2009 2:36 PM


*somewhere inside Fox Entertainment Studios*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you don't know who you are fucking with, douchebag...

SHEILA! Get me Zombie Ledger on the phone!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 3, 2009 2:53 PM

I thought that first poster was some sort of spoof on Bruce Willis' current relationship.

Get it? Demi Moore/Emma Heming . . . same person?. . . She's his "surrogate"?
No?

Apparently I've been looking at too much Photoshop Phriday.

P.S. That's Paul Bettany? Thought it was Willem Dafoe. Wishful thinking I guess.

P.P.S. Not one comment so far about "The Informant"? Was it the Ocean's 11, 12, 13 reference at the top of the page, or is there an embargo on Matt Damon comments at Pajiba? Or both?

Posted by: MaryWoo at August 3, 2009 3:04 PM

I've seen Bruce Willis in a wig. Its name is Rumer.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at August 3, 2009 4:36 PM

I'll make a comment about The Informant: That's the one where Matt Damon is fat and has a child-toucher mustache, right?

Posted by: MM at August 3, 2009 4:41 PM

"Break Media: We know guys"

Did they not read the survey results??

Posted by: Jay at August 3, 2009 5:09 PM

MaryWoo, definitely Bettany, whom I love but whose cheekbones are no match for Dafoe's. They did a movie once which wasn't too bad. Bettany played, um, a Middle Ages pries, and Dafoe was a minstrel guy who did yoga shirtless.

I want to see chubby Damon.

Posted by: Annie UhOh at August 3, 2009 5:30 PM

Correction: The Informant is the one where Matt Damon is Ned Flanders.

Posted by: Mebe at August 5, 2009 4:58 AM

Hey now. It was Wagons Eats! that killed John Candy.

Posted by: chenry at August 5, 2009 11:55 AM

Arg.

Wagons EAST! Christ.

Posted by: chenry at August 5, 2009 11:55 AM

Jeremy Renner may well end up in the movie but not as Max - it's pretty much common industry knowledge that Aussie actor Steve Innes will be Max and the studio is trying hard (why?) to conceal that fact.
They had YouTube and Ebaums take down the news clip that said Innes had been cast and also the videos of his pretty awesome audition and screen test footage (he actually showed up in his own black Ford Interceptor coupe which was really cool and he's a lucky bastard if he really own's it)
They said it was a breach of confidentiality or something.
Why the secrecy for something already so well known?
Plus, how can Max's son have a role to play? He's dead, along with his Mom, killed off in the first film, which is what sent him "Mad" in the first place, and nothing indicates to Max ever having another relationship or adopting a kid since.

Posted by: The flog at August 15, 2009 6:14 AM

Um, isn't Mad Max set in Australia?
How can Jeremy Renner even imagine himself as Max, even if he can put on a goood accent.
He is just too young and Max in this story is supposed to be nearly 60, not early 30's.
Even Steve Innes is still too young probably and he is 40.
Also, it is said that MM4 had even started shooting in Namibia in 2002 and had to stop due to the Iraq invasion.
Is MM4 set in Namibia or is that country just standing in for Australia.
What happened to the footage already shot?
Has it been released anywhere.
What is MM4 Fury Road even about?

Posted by: Spandex at August 26, 2009 1:06 AM

I'm actually pretty sure that both Renner and Innes have appeared on screen together but not recently.
It was an episode of Stargate SG1 in 2000 or 2001, well before either gained any prominence.
Can't recall the episode-there's so many and I was not really a fan of that show.

Posted by: Simon X at September 4, 2009 10:57 PM