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JCVD Cordially Not Invited to Bloodsport Remake

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trade News | October 9, 2012 | Comments ()


jcvd_excited.jpg

There are so many inexplicable things to dissect about this latest turn of events in the saga of putting a remake of Bloodsport onto film.

First, the fact that there is going to be a remake of Bloodsport is all kinds of confusing. Because some disposable executive thinks that years of special effects can improve on Jean Claude Van Damme doing the splits on a set of chairs and fighting while blind?

If it hadn't been for all the screaming, he could have been Natalie Portman's stunt double in Black Swan.

Second, the write of the remake is Robert Mark Kamen, who also wrote Taken 2. This is equally astonishing, because I had it on good authority that there was no writer for Taken 2. And of course, I find the the presence of a writer on the staff of a Bloodsport remake equally astonishing. My impression was that the original film was entirely an impromptu performance by the pecs of various actors.

Finally, here's what Kamen had to say, explaining his rejection of JCVD's dreams:

This film resembles the original in title only. It has nothing to do with any Kumite contest. It has nothing to do with Frank Dux. If the title was not the same, you would not associate the two films. To use JCVD would make no sense because the association would be lost as the story has nothing to do with the first one. If anything it would be a distraction.

No splits. This is a character driven, politically motivated film. It has nothing to do with splits or muscles or grudge matches and as I said, if the title were not attached to the rights, you would not associate one film with the other.

If the two films have nothing in common except for the title, then why are you using the title? It's not like the name "Bloodsport" has some massive brand name appeal that will drag millions into the box office just by association. "Character driven" and "politically motivated"? Just say "gritty" already, you know that's what you want to say.

Don't get down on life, Jean Bear, this gives an excuse to post the greatest dance scene ever filmed:

Now that should be remade.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • I BEG to differ- or quibble or refine: That dance scene should be remade ONLY if Paul Rudd agrees to be in it. And maybe Chris Meloni, wearing the costume from that sumemr american movie he did a while back the name of which escapes me. No matter! Rudd and Meloni- with JCVD cameo- its the only way.

  • $27019454

    Please see the movie "JCVD" and then tell me Jean Claude Van Damme is not awesome.

  • Carlito

    "It has nothing to do with any Kumite contest. It has nothing to do with Frank Dux... This is a character driven, politically motivated film."

    I'm imagining Mr. Chong Li Goes to Washington, and, frankly, I like it.

  • lowercase_ryan

    No Kumite = No Bloodsport. Why is this so confusing?

  • NoPantsMcLane

    Ok USA!
    Not really, this idea sounds like some ol' bullshit.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    SPLITS ACROSS THE MOTHERFUCKING DANCE FLOOR!

  • John W

    "This film resembles the original in title only. It has nothing to do
    with any Kumite contest. It has nothing to do with Frank Dux. If the
    title was not the same, you would not associate the two films. To use
    JCVD would make no sense because the association would be lost as the
    story has nothing to do with the first one. If anything it would be a
    distraction."

    Yeah using JVCD, that's the part that make no sense......

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    When I see a movie titled "Bloodsport" I expect precisely two things: 1) Blood and 2) Sport. Why would someone take a JCVD movie and give it the Christopher Nolan Treatment? What sort of "character" can one expect from a movie titled Blood sport other than what JCVD hath already given? What's Kamen going to do next - make a Vin Diesel movie that deals with human trafficking? This post raises far more questions than it answers, and not in a good way.

  • This makes me inexplicably angry. I'm no huge fan of JCVD (apart from in JCVD, where he was awesome), but compared to that fucking hack Kamen he's an auteur genius.
    Also, fuck stunt double, JCVD in Bloodsport should've been the main role in Black Swan, because fuck Portman's overperformance.
    Angry Tuesdays are angry.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    Honestly, how can you NOT be a huge fan of JCVD? I'm hard pressed to think a time to think of a a well oiled man who rocks completely feminine tank* tops and does splits that are the envy of 11 year old lady-gymnasts, all before giving a blind beat down. You need to recognize, son. But yeah, it IS angry Tuesday. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    *oh wait, it wasn't that hard after all. http://preview.tinyurl.com/8zj...

  • Bert_McGurt

    I think when they say "writer" in this case, what they really mean is "scrawled 'Bloodsport remake' in red crayon on construction paper".

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