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Newsflash: Beerfest Still Isn't Funny

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (30)

beerfest_das_boot.jpg

Hi. My name is Dustin. I don’t like Broken Lizard.

Cough on it.

Jay Chandrasekhar, the man behind the cult hits, Supertroopers, Beerfest, and Club Dread and the spectactularly unfunny Dukes of Hazzard, is set to slap together another shitty comedy wrapped around stupid gags and chicken fucker and mustache ride jokes. Undoubtedly, several of the Broken Lizard members will join the cast at some point.

The movie is called Shotgun Wedding. Stop me if you’ve heard this premise before: It concerns an avowed bachelor who suddenly calls his friends to join him on a weekend trip for his wedding.

Maybe they’ll go to Vegas! Maybe someone will lose a tooth. Maybe Mike Tyson will punch someone. And maybe someone will show his penis.

My only guarantee: That it won’t be funny, but a small collection of “cult” followers will nevertheless eat it up.

Yeah. I know, I know. I’m a pig to your Winnebago. Meow. Meow. Meow. Go sell your beer fucking to someone who cares, you stoner fucks.

Cram it.









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Comments

Dustin's gay!

Posted by: me at September 16, 2009 8:05 PM

Beerfest is the SHIT!!!

It is my life goal to be able to drink as much beer as them and not die. No really, its a goal.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at September 16, 2009 8:11 PM

Dustin's just mad because he doesn't get it. Bearfucker!

Posted by: admin at September 16, 2009 8:14 PM

I suppose this is supposed to get people like me who think that Super Troopers and Beer Fest are funny all upset.

Whatever.

Club Dread and Dukes of Hazzard sucked complete ass, I am with you 100% there.

Posted by: Eep at September 16, 2009 8:15 PM

I'm glad I'm not in marching band anymore, so I won't have to watch this movie on a bus to Michigan and listen to tromboners guffaw and repeat the same damn exchange at every gross gag:

"Awwww, dude! Is that shit for real?"

"No way dude it can't be!"

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! It's totally legit!"

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!! That is so nasty/fucked up/awesome/fucking awesome/fuckalicious! That girl, I'd do her. For real."

"Me too, brah. Me too."

"Dude, pass the Nalgene"

"Which one, dude, the one with the Jim Beam and Dr. Pepper or the vodka and Sprite?"

"Dude, the Jimmy/DP!!! Fucking awesome. Don't let Colonel* or the AIs** see this shit."

"What, dude, you think I'm stupid? Drink it up. (Some starletard's tits pop out on screen) Awwww, dude, is that shit for real?!"

(Cat hurls self out of emergency exit window, rolls to safety, walks to nearest taco stand, gets taco.)

Fin.

*- Colonel= IU band director, man of indeterminate nomenclaturial origin and terrifying size, strength, and rage. Do not provoke.
**- AIs= Associate Instructors or TAs, will shortly follow you out of the bus window and join you for a taco.

Posted by: Cat at September 16, 2009 8:22 PM

But their shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 16, 2009 8:32 PM

But their shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Yes! Dustin is just a sour puss.

Meow.

Posted by: commanderfunky at September 16, 2009 8:50 PM

supertroopers ok. everything else, pure shit.

Posted by: JLEE at September 16, 2009 9:29 PM

Beerfest sucks, I'll give you that. But Club Dread is probably the most underrated movie of all time.

Posted by: Pilot at September 16, 2009 10:23 PM

Of course they're shitty comedies, but they're funny. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a funny shitty comedy? I don't know weather they're geniuses or spectacularly retarded, but Broken Lizard works.

Also, you liked Miss March, and Sit Down, Shut Up, you're shit stinks as badly as the rest of us.

Posted by: George at September 16, 2009 10:24 PM

Never got the appeal. Actually the funniest thing Jay Chandrasekhar has done was his turn on Jackass Number 2 as the angry taxi passenger.

Posted by: Fredo at September 16, 2009 10:40 PM

HE'S GOT THE EYE OF THE JEW!

That is all.

Posted by: Bequafina at September 16, 2009 10:55 PM

Litre is French for GIMME SOME FUCKIN' COLA!!!!

Posted by: UncivilizedMike at September 16, 2009 11:13 PM

They score with the occasional gag, but Broken Lizard's true accomplishment has been to bluff people into thinking its movies must be funny because they're an honest-to-godtopus Comedy Troupe. And who doesn't like a Comedy Troupe?!

Posted by: sansho1 at September 16, 2009 11:40 PM

Eh...you don't like Beerfest?

Rowles?

This is coming from the same PIG, that slathered the cum from the Transformers 2 writers all over his face.

FUCK. YOU.

Posted by: BabadoSlim at September 17, 2009 12:19 AM

And yes, I called you a..... PIG.


Fire up the Murdertank make sure you have enough juice on the battery for your Ipod so you can put on your ironic Journey playlist.

Posted by: BabadoSlim at September 17, 2009 12:23 AM

WOW... disregard the last posts.


I apologize Dustin, personal shit going on.


please delete...if you want.

Posted by: BabadoSlim at September 17, 2009 12:34 AM

If you haven't seen Puddle Cruiser, please don't pretend to have any understanding of BL. Also, yes, except for ST, most of their shit is questionable at best. Where the Hell is the Slammin' Salmon?

Posted by: laredo at September 17, 2009 12:39 AM

I liked Super Troopers.
I liked Beerfest.
I'm beginning to like Club Dread.
I don't see how you can count Dukes of Hazzard.

I'm sure I will enjoy Slammin Salmon, and this one you are talking about.

Broken Lizard are unique in the comedy world if you ask me, and I like them for that.

Posted by: Colin at September 17, 2009 7:32 AM

THANK YOU, Dustin.

Super Troopers ruled.
It was all downhill from there.

Also, while we're denouncing overrated comedies, Anchorman was laaaaaaame.

DEAL WITH IT.

Posted by: sugar booger at September 17, 2009 8:40 AM

Dukes of Hazzard sucked, and could have had potential so that was a tragedy. But Beerfest did have some laugh out loud moments, and where else can you see noted Oscar winner Cloris Leachman molest a sausage on screen? Nowhere, that's where! Plus, the story arcs--the dark tragedy that befell Landfill? Have you no heart???

Posted by: Bd at September 17, 2009 8:53 AM

It's said more and more celebrities have their profiles on a great millionaire dating site____W e a l t h y S o c i a l . C O M_______ . The best club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs...You should check it out!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posted by: Jessie at September 17, 2009 9:13 AM

And who doesn't like a Comedy Troupe?!

*raises hand*

I don't know what it was like where you kids went to school, but at my uni the resident "comedy" troupe was a bunch of geeks fellating themselves with stale schtick and inside jokes... forgetting the part about letting the audience in on the inside jokes.

Posted by: Eep at September 17, 2009 10:50 AM

Club Dread is severely underrated. I love that movie. Loved Supertroopers and Beerfest. Puddle Cruiser is not funny at all.

Yeah, their movies are stupid. That's kind of the idea. I just happen to find that type of stupidity funny. There is some really funny dialogue in all of their movies.

Posted by: Matt at September 17, 2009 12:04 PM

Your hate is hilarious. Obviously your humor-meter doesn't have a very wide range.

Club Dredd -was- kind of meh, but Supertroopers was -classic-. I hope they get back to the old formula with Shotgun Wedding.

Posted by: Jack at September 17, 2009 12:07 PM

Hi, my name is Edwina, and I am a sooptroopaholic.

Best movie evaaaarr. Meow.

Club Dread presents itself in my mind for two reasons: 1) "Aaah, Peeen-eh-lope" *titty squeeze*; 2) Zombie legs swimming after the escapees *SPOILER!* That is right up there with "Send more cooops"!

Whatever the hell this new movie is, I'm all for it.

Posted by: Edwina the Magnificent at September 18, 2009 12:09 AM

I love Beerfest. When the host of the games plays the trumpet to kick off the event you can't help but not laugh.

For those who haven't seen it here it is, it's right after the teams go through the entranceway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d-EcB7iG4A&feature=related

Posted by: Travis at September 18, 2009 11:06 AM

o, well it obvious then, Dustin doesnt have a penis.

Posted by: Rick at September 20, 2009 5:55 PM

worst review ever

Posted by: jake at December 1, 2009 5:39 PM

people who don't have shit going on in their own life just like to hate because thats all they can do. If you don't like silly gags and dick and fart comedy then just don't watch it...and enjoy your pathetic little life.

Go Broken Lizard!

Posted by: aaron at July 18, 2010 6:56 PM