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Whozawhatnow?

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

gs_james_marsden_081013_m.jpg

First off: The title sucks.

Sorry, didn’t mean to start off negative there, but seriously, I Hop? Really?

Anyhoo, I Hop is the newest film being produced by Illumination Entertainment and Universal. The story is about am indolent young man who inadvertently injures the Easter Bunny, and takes him in to help him out. Hijinks ensue. Apparently, James Marsden will play the lead, and Russell Brand (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) will play the Easter Bunny. It will be a live action/CG mix. It’s being directed by Tim Hill, who is most recently responsible for Alvin and the Chimpmunks.

I … what?

Your reaction is likely similar to mine upon reading this. It’s like some demented form of Word Jumble. I mean, Bitch-Cyclops aside, Marsden can be pretty decent, and Brand was actually quite funny in Marshall, even if he’s an insufferable prick in real life. But you lost me at Tim Hill. I just can’t respect a man who would willingly take that job, not that he’s seeking respect, having also directed Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties and Max Keebles’ Big Move. There are seven-year-olds who would piss on Tim Hill if he was on fire, just so they could light him on fire again. And they would sing in a chipmunk voice while they danced on his charred remains.

And Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny? Kids are going to start sleeping with a tooth under one pillow, and a pistol under the other.

Jesus, Hollywood. Your suck sauce is extra thick today, assholes.









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Comments

Russell Brand: The only Easter Bunny in the world who fertilizes eggs instead of giving them out.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at January 26, 2010 11:34 AM

Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny? Instead of yummy chocolate filling, this year the Easter eggs will be filled with crack and Katy Perry twat leavings.

Hoppy Jeebus CruciFICTION/Re-Appearance Day!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at January 26, 2010 11:48 AM

Kids are going to start sleeping with a tooth under one pillow, and a pistol under the other.

See, this news/trailer was so terrible, it has shorted out TK's brain. At least where I come from, it's the tooth fairy who deals with the teeth under the pillow, not the Easter Bunny.

Oh, and speaking of the Easter Bunny, all references to him, must include this clip.

I will be forever indebted to PissBoy for sharing that with us.

Posted by: tamatha at January 26, 2010 12:02 PM

What?

First Santa, then the Tooth Fairy and now the Easter Bunny?

Where the fuck is the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special? I want a full version rather then a short film!

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 26, 2010 12:02 PM

IHOP pancakes are overpriced and overrated, so I won't be seeing this.

Posted by: , at January 26, 2010 12:15 PM

Man, what if they did to the Easter Bunny what "Bad Santa" did to Kris Kringle?

"Bad Bunny"

//stands back, admires work, quits for the rest of the day

Posted by: , at January 26, 2010 12:16 PM

But Y'all must admit..

It is not a remake! Sequal! Rape-a-80-serie.

Posted by: Magiel at January 26, 2010 12:45 PM

Oh, James Marsden, how the mighty have fallen.

2000 Marsden: "Holy Hell!! I'm in a movie with Hugh Jackman!"

2003 Marsden: "I get to be in the sequel too!"

2006 Marsden: "Ok, one last one and then I'm set for life."

2008 Marsden: "So...from Amy Adams to Katherine Heigel...it's OK because I finally get the girl in the end. You still got it, Marsden!"

late 2008 Marsden: "It's a good thing no one saw Sex Drive so no one knows I was in that."

2010 Marsden: "Easter Bunny? Russel Brand who? I guess I like pancakes. Does it pay?"

Posted by: dfizzle at January 26, 2010 12:50 PM

IHOP pancakes are overpriced and overrated, so I won't be seeing this.

Posted by: , at January 26, 2010 12:15 PM

Um, excuse me, YOU ARE CRAZYPANTS. IHOP PANCAKES ARE AMAZINARY. For shame, sir, casting aspersions on the fabulosity of these pancakes, which are so ridonkulous that I can only use made-up words to describe them. Nom, sir, NOM NOM NOM!

But I won't be seeing this either, as it sounds like your brain on drugs, and I've seen that already. And Russell Brand is really fucking irritating.

Posted by: Katers at January 26, 2010 1:32 PM

Ok, he was tits in Sex Drive. Double D Tits.
And Katers made me crack up with that "Nom, Sir." bit. Hehe.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 26, 2010 4:34 PM

The Tooth-fairy is a Professional Wrestler.
The Easter Bunny is a British Man-Whore.
Santa Clause is a Southern Drunkard.

Wow. So long childhood.

Posted by: superasente at January 26, 2010 6:20 PM

Hollywood is going cold turkey on pork. Tinseltown is even importing sleaze from the United Kingdom.
Russell Brand does Brand Hollywood no favours. He is famous in the United Kingdom for his bizarre and anti social behaviour. He harrassed and abused an old gentleman. There was public outcry in the media at the time. He advocates promiscuity and perversion. What attracts women to this "Rudolph Valintino" of the silverscreen? Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes Zoster, Vaginal Thrush, Bartolin Cyst, Scabies, or are they addicted to penicillin. He is a shameless swagger with no substance to his character. Hollywood and his future leading ladies are welcome to him. We will know where they have been. For that matter, so will their grandfathers.
He will end up in a Hollywood trash bin with the latest edition of his "My Booky Wook" stuck deep up his pile infected asshole. So much for wholesome family entertainment. America, let him entertain your children.

Chaim Paddaman

Posted by: Chaim Paddaman at September 7, 2010 3:01 PM