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Keep Nailing Me

No, Seriously, That’s What She Said / Daniel Carlson

Trade News | September 23, 2008 | Comments (21)

I don’t know who the first person was to make the joke about what a porn film would be like if you took the sex out, or just riffed on the dialogue in general, but it’s something everyone does or knows how to do: You make a couple puns about pizza delivery boys or pool maintenance men or, just to be different, overworked copy editors; you make the bow-chicka-bow-wow noise; you remember you’re not in college; you move on.

Writer-director James Gunn (Slither) is taking the premise even further, announcing via his Twitter and MySpace accounts that his new project will be called PG Porn, which will basically be re-enactments of pornos using Hollywood actors, porn stars, and actual skin-flick dialogue but no actual sex. As Gunn writes (capitalizations all his own), “JAMES GUNN’S PG-PORN is the only porn where, when the delivery boy comes over to deliver some pizza, people actual get what they’re expecting — some delicious pizza!”

Initial pairings include Nathan “Tightpants” Fillion and some porn star; Michael “I Was in Urban Legend Before ‘Smallville,’ Dick” Rosenbaum and some porn star; James “My Actual Name” Gunn and some porn star; and James’ brother Sean “‘Gilmore Girls’ Was Never Like This” Gunn along with some porn star. The debut episode, “Nailing Your Wife,” hits Spike.com on October 8. Here’s a video (SFW, of course) explaining the rest:


James Gunn & Aria Giovanni Introduce PG Porn from pg porn on Vimeo.


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Comments

Oh man, Aria is one of my favori-I mean, it's sad that woman is degraded like that, whatever her name is.

Posted by: Lane Honda at September 23, 2008 10:22 AM

I don't know. This sounds like it could be a funny 5 minute skit on SNL, once.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 23, 2008 10:23 AM

I'd want to watch this why?

I've already seen this, actually. I was at a buddy's house and we decided to rent a movie. Through a miscommunication at the video store, we ended up with a porn that had been edited down to probably a hard PG-13. It still had all the wretchedly inane dialog, but for the sex, all the relevant body parts were cropped just outside the frame (lots of heads bobbing, no actual pricks). It goes without saying, no money shots either.

It was just ... frustrating. As "PG Porn" will be, once the gimmick wears off. In about seven seconds.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 23, 2008 10:29 AM

*cough* *cough* *ahem* BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG.

Posted by: Lurkus Anonymous at September 23, 2008 10:31 AM

Man, I'm surprised by the lack of enthusiasm in the comments. I figured the mere whiff of Fillion would necessitate towels being distributed up in here.

Posted by: firedmyass at September 23, 2008 10:38 AM

I hope the Fillion-having one is first so I can watch it once and move on. Because if it's got Fillion, I have to watch it. Damn you, Fillion.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 23, 2008 10:39 AM

I think it's still a little early on the west coast for the full on masturbatory party that usually happens around these parts when anything Fillion related is mentioned.

Posted by: Lurkus Anonymous at September 23, 2008 10:44 AM

This isn't going to be featured on the CBS primetime fall rotation...we're talking about Spike.com. Bitching about this is like complaining about attention given a Funny or Die sketch.

Sean Gunn would probably be more entertaining in this type of role that Fillion anyways.

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 10:44 AM

I'm glad Fillion's vid will be the first one up, because like ole Knife Pile, I am compelled to watch anything he does,* and this idea does sound a bit lame for a whole series.

However, I wouldn't underestimate Gunn. He gave us Slither. He's a funny motherfucker.

*Cred: I watched White Noise 2. I paid to watch it. In both money and time. That Nathan is some kinda fine.

Posted by: Jerce at September 23, 2008 10:58 AM

That's a porn star in the picture with Fillion? When I first saw the picture I thought to myself, "Wow, Fran Drescher is looking kind of rough..."

Posted by: peachfish at September 23, 2008 11:25 AM

Heh, funny you say that, peachfish. I thought it was that girl from that Project Greenlight movie. Feast? Was that what it was called?

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 23, 2008 11:40 AM

it's captain tight pants, kirk, lex luthor and pg porn, I couldn't be happier if it was real porn, ok lie, then I would die of "privates explosion", the disease of the new millennium.

Posted by: rio at September 23, 2008 1:01 PM

Back off, Lane Honda. Aria's mine.

Posted by: Dave at September 23, 2008 1:06 PM

So, the Hammer is his penis?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 23, 2008 2:38 PM

IT would only be funny if they got to the part where they take off all their clothes and then decide to talk instead of have sex. And then even that would get old and you'd eventually go jerk off somewhere...(hopefully in your home and not outside!)...

Posted by: ph at September 23, 2008 9:03 PM

He fixes the cable?

I don't know who the first person was to make the joke about what a porn film would be like if you took the sex out

Was it "Bachelor Party"?

Posted by: Jay at September 23, 2008 9:08 PM

Would I go gay for Nate Fillion?

That depends. Would he sing to me?

...If not, still a yes.

Posted by: Audiosuede at September 24, 2008 1:46 AM

absolutely genius. i can't wait to watch

Posted by: lovely jones at September 24, 2008 5:39 PM

damn it give me slither 2 you promised it after the credits!

Posted by: Diece at September 25, 2008 6:17 PM

There's a picture somewhere of what looks sadly and disturbingly like the Captain's "sex face." Much as I love the man, and will, yes, watch anything he's in (including "White Noise 2", for feck's sake) thank God for paper bags and gimp masks.

Posted by: Elspeff at October 1, 2008 3:21 PM

the show is live at www.pgporn.tv

Posted by: mike d at October 8, 2008 9:48 PM





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