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Jake Gyllenhaal to Sleep with Bear on National Television

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (10)



pajibagyllenhaalvswild.jpg

By which, of course, I mean, the actor will be appearing on the July 11, 2011 season premiere of Discovery’s “Man Vs. Wild” televisual programme (9pm/8pm Central). Thus, he will mostly likely be sleeping in the company of the show’s host, Bear Grylls. What? What did you think the headline was referring to? Get your minds off of the Brokeback Mountain, people. That’s so 2006.

About his decision to take part in the show, Jake Gyllenhaal simply says that for him, “[I]t’s all about discovery.” Indeed, the wilderness is an alluring venture, and that mentality is why series like this and “Survivor Man” continue to exist. I’ve always liked Gyllenhaal, he is one of those few actors who has been worth paying attention for most of his career (probably not since City Slickers, but definitely since October Sky). I respect his talent, and he’s given us some memorable performances in the past — especially recently, in such heady fair as Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. But, while we all know about the bike rides with Lance Armstrong, Donnie Darko just isn’t the first person to come to mind when I think about nature and survival skills.

Then again, neither is “Man Vs. Wild” or Bear Grylls, who on occasion has been known to fake the amount of danger he is in. Yes, he physically does the things he does (his stunts are captured on video for posterity, after all), but… I mean, c’mon. Even if you discount his detractors,dude brings a cameraman with him everywhere. Everywhere. That cameraman has to do everything that Bear does, while holding and not dropping expensive cameras, keeping everything in frame, and not falling to his death. Okay, he probably doesn’t eat the bugs — because the La Quinta Inn they’re staying at down the road serves a continental breakfast every morning, and those waffles don’t waffle iron themselves. I’m not saying I could do it, I’m just saying that Bear Grylls doesn’t really do it, either.

Nevertheless, Gyllenhaal’s episode centers on the pair’s two-day excursion to Iceland, which Discovery describes with no hint of irony as both “unpredictable” and “the worst conditions known to man.” Their announcement even alludes to Gyllenhaal possibly eating some relatively unappetizing meals, so that might be worth tuning in for. (Raw Crymostygius thingvallensis, anybody?) For his part, Grylls rather obviously states, “The wild is always very revealing - not only physically but mentally.” On Gyllenhaal he’s a bit more colorful: “You’ve got to smile when it’s driving horizontal hail and be able to face your fears and just get on and do it - and on both of those accounts, Jake came up strong.”

Well, OK. Good for Jake! But I still find it sad that there’s no time for cameraman love.

Rob Payne writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, co-hosts the internet radio show/podcast We’re Not Fanboys, and you can find him on Twitter @RobOfWar. Yes, he is very well aware that Bear Grylls could take him in a fight, fair or not, but will always prefer “Survivor Man” for nature reality TV series.









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Comments

Yeah, I especially like in these kinds of shows when it's monsooning or bullets of hail are falling and the star is in some makeshift shelter talking about how it's pretty cramped but better then being out in the elements while the frickin' camera man is OUT IN THE ELEMENTS filming this little speech.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 22, 2011 11:14 AM

I wouldn't worry - Bear usually finds a way to get naked.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 22, 2011 11:19 AM

Grylls was on the Graham Norton show recently with Cameron Diaz and Kathy Griffin, and he was so incredibly BORING! For someone who's done 'dangerous' things he cannot tell an interesting story to save his life. Dull dull dull. So dull I cannot for the life of me remember what he said about Gyllenhaal on the programme, though he did mention it. He also filtered wine through his sock. And everyone drank it.

Posted by: Carrie at June 22, 2011 11:20 AM

This is the best news I’ve heard all day. I hope these two numb-nuts wind up dead somewhere in the woods torn to shreds, these fucking guys and their need to fuck with wild animals. Ask that motherfucker that got his ass killed fucking around with those stingrays if he thought it was a good idea to fuck with them.

Posted by: Pookie at June 22, 2011 12:43 PM

Everywhere. That cameraman has to do everything that Bear does, while holding and not dropping expensive cameras, keeping everything in frame, and not falling to his death.
Yeah....except for the fact that he camera man can use all kinds of gear he wants to since you know he is not the one on camera

Posted by: Minto at June 22, 2011 12:47 PM

Having done survival camping and having spent a not inconsiderable amount of my life out in the wilds of Canada, I would like to tell Bear Grylls to eat a dick.

Les Stroud at least has respect and a reverence for nature that comes through in his show. Bear Grylls is a prat and I truly hope he is mauled to death by a rampant moose.

Preferably while in a Discovery Channel board meeting somewhere in Los Angeles.

Posted by: Wintermute at June 22, 2011 1:53 PM

For the longest time I thought Jake was Maggie and Maggie was Jake.

Posted by: googergieger at June 22, 2011 3:28 PM

Bear Grylls deserves absolutely none of his fame and respect. He's such a phony asshat! Not only does his cameraman have to be able to do everything he does, but he is always surrounded by people who can rescue him should anything go wrong.

Les Stroud, on the other hand, is his own cameraman, which means that not only does he have to do incredibly dangerous and difficult things by himself, he often has to do them twice, because he has to retrieve his camera! Les does only what he needs to in order to survive, and to teach viewers survival tips, and goes out of his way to avoid taking crazy risks, which is why Bear's program is so much more popular. Survivorman is an amazing show, and the things that Les was willing to put himself through to inform his viewers were truly impressive.

Posted by: mcSquish at June 22, 2011 3:30 PM

So do the Survivorman fans watch Les Stroud Beyond Survival?

Posted by: Uda at June 22, 2011 11:22 PM

I don't get all the Bear Grylls hate. Sure he might be a bit phony or not as awesome as Les Stroud or whatever, but does that really warrant so much vitriol. At least the show is still somewhat interesting and better viewing than so much of the crap out there.

Posted by: Sean at June 25, 2011 2:32 PM