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The Prince of Persia Is Lilly-White

And Shirtless! / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 11, 2009 | Comments (71)

These photos are a couple of days old now (compliments of HuffPo), so you may have already had the immense pleasure of seeing The Jake’s dreamy eyes. These are snapshots from the set of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, wherein Jake Gyllenhaal plays the freakin’ Prince of Persia. I can’t decide if it’s more absurd that he’s playing an action star or a Persian. Here’s my theory: The Prince of Persia has Vitiligo, the skin disease that whitened Michael Jackson. (Fun Fact: I, too, have Vitiligo (seriously), but I’m so fair-skinned that it’s almost completely undetectable.) In effect, what I’m saying is: They should change the name to The Prince of Wisconsin.

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For the curious, the movie comes out in May 2010. It’ll be directed by Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Donnie Brasco) and produced by Michael Bay. Bond girl Gemma Arterton will play the love interest. It’s based on the video game, which follows an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world.


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Comments

............*drools*....
.......

.........


Wait
What?
Where you talking?
Gyllenhaal is a prince now?
Is that like Grace Kelly or what then?
What?

Posted by: nadine at March 11, 2009 10:54 AM

I am completely willing to overlook said pasty whiteness if only for the fact that Jake looks pretty damn hunky. Oh don't get me wrong, the movie is going to suck, but at least Gyllenhaal serves as decent eye candy.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 11, 2009 10:55 AM

His hair is gross and his face carpet is rather threadbare (also: ridiculous. Doesn't give him any less of a babyface).

I'll take everything from the neck down, though. Yummers.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at March 11, 2009 10:57 AM

I'm sorry, but I started laughing so hysterically at his hair that I had no time to appreciate his chest. Hee hee hee. Why am I envisioning John Travolta right now??

Posted by: Julie at March 11, 2009 11:00 AM

I started laughing so hysterically at his hair

The eyebrows and facial expression are also preventing me from doing anything but laughing.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2009 11:02 AM

Seriously. He's all Beastmasterlicious, sans an angry Rip Torn.

Posted by: Julie at March 11, 2009 11:05 AM

I've reviewed it in advanced:

Yep, it also sucks.

Posted by: George at March 11, 2009 11:08 AM

You know if Ahmajinedad looked like this, we'd probably be more receptive to his message of "death to Israel and America"

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 11, 2009 11:11 AM

I'm sorry, but it looks like a neanderthal head was pasted on a Chippendale dancer's body.

Posted by: BWeaves (from a different IP address) at March 11, 2009 11:13 AM

Oh God! The position of the lamps made me think he had flaming jiz!

Posted by: BWeaves (from a different IP address) at March 11, 2009 11:16 AM

That's a shame, because the game was pretty fucking badass. Who doesn't love to run as fast as they can along walls, leaping from pillars and such. And when you fucking up and jump off the pillar the wrong way (which is incredibly often for me), you just rewind time. Sweet.

Plus, there's this.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2009 11:16 AM

Dammit, grammar.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2009 11:17 AM

While his body is nice, I can't get past the blah of the face. He does nothing for me.

Posted by: Cindy at March 11, 2009 11:18 AM

This will also have Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina in it, both of whom would motivate me more to see this than the Geico caveman up there.

Posted by: branded at March 11, 2009 11:26 AM

He's not hairy enough! Couldn't they have sprung for a bottle of spray tan and one or two million curly black chest or arm hairs?

Posted by: Kolby at March 11, 2009 11:27 AM

How many shitty movies has Ben Kingsley been in recently?

Answer: Holy craps.

Posted by: twig at March 11, 2009 11:28 AM

Twelve year old Persian boys have more facial hair than he does. I think Persians and Persian culture should be very offended by this slight to their follicular abundance.

Posted by: Girl With Curious Hair at March 11, 2009 11:32 AM

He looks like he's auditioning for a Rambo reboot. He's got Sly's blank stare and greasy hair down. Now he just needs Sly's body waxer and he'll be good to go.

Posted by: ed newman at March 11, 2009 11:36 AM

Screw you haters...there isn't a hole on my body I wouldn't let that man violate with whatever appendage was most handy.

Mmmmmmm....chest hair....

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 11, 2009 11:41 AM

How many shitty movies has Ben Kingsley been in recently?
Answer: Holy craps.

Exactly. He provided a good sense of scale to how ill-fitting Gigglehaal seems for this one.

Like using a dollar bill in a photo, or standing Jennifer Love Hewitt back to back with a thimble.

Posted by: branded at March 11, 2009 11:41 AM

I don't know when it happened, but my Jake love has completely fizzled out.

I need a new famous person to obsess over. Any takers?

Posted by: Carrie at March 11, 2009 11:45 AM

Carrie, I'd suggest that you could fawn over me, but I'm really only big in parts of Eastern Europe right now, and plus, I already have AnnaVB and Jeremy living in the bushes outside my bedroom window. So....

Can I suggest that HOT piece of ass Kris Allen from this season of American Idol?

Seriously, I would drink his bathwater.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 11, 2009 11:56 AM

When it comes to Hollywood’s perception of history, as the saying goes “If it aint white, it aint right.” Gyllenhaal’s portrayal of a Persian is just a continuation of Hollywood’s goal to white out the history of the world, and it all started with that bloated white pig Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra.

Posted by: Pookie at March 11, 2009 12:03 PM

I still can't get past:

"will be directed by mike newell and produced by michael bay"


shouldn't that cause some sort of a wormhole or something?

Posted by: dan at March 11, 2009 12:12 PM

Couldn't be Wisconsin--he's not holding a can of Miller.

However, the whole thing IS drenched in cheese! ZING!

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 11, 2009 12:14 PM

This is reminiscent, much lower quality of writing aside, of Anthony Hopkins playing Othello. What drunk monkey had that dumbass idea?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 11, 2009 12:15 PM

Can I just state for the record that not all of us with dead gay fathers are so on the ball about photos of celebrities' abs?

Posted by: Bucko at March 11, 2009 12:15 PM

The guy who played the titular The Rocker from Rock n Rolla is also in this. He looks at least slightly more ethnic than Gyllenhaal, but still kind of hot in a lanky, strung out kind of way. Not that I'd kick Jake out of bed for eating crackers.

Fun fact; Gyllenhaal is half Ashkenazi Jew and half Swedish Royalty. It says so on imdb, so it must be true.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 11, 2009 12:19 PM

Aren't Persians usually fair-skinned? Features might be a separate issue, but I was under the impression that Persians were known for their fair skin, and that was part of why the Nazi Germans fixated on "Aryan" races (a word very closely related to "Iranian," and basically separating certain Indo-European races from the "unclean" Jews and brown people).

Posted by: Eep at March 11, 2009 12:45 PM

didn't the Prince of Persia wear a shirt? a snazzy armor/vest thing? am i thinking of a different game series? no matter. if Jake is going to be shirtless i will be there. if the movie sucks then i'll have the theater to myself. even better.

how do i join The Pink Hulk fan club?

Posted by: pq at March 11, 2009 12:59 PM

plus, I already have AnnaVB and Jeremy living in the bushes outside my bedroom window.

It's true. That tiny clapping sound you may have just heard was me and AVB high-fiving each other outside your window.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 11, 2009 12:59 PM

Cleopatara was mostly the product of several generations of Macedonian brother-sister inbreeding, so I could believe her being pasty (or a hemophiliac). But Gyllenhaal as a Persian? Doesn't Iran have it's own film industry? Couldn't Newell have gotten an Iranian actor to be in this movie? Or at least an Iranian-American actor?

Posted by: Inaras at March 11, 2009 1:03 PM

half Ashkenazi Jew and half Swedish Royalty

Oh who isn't these days?

Posted by: stipe42 at March 11, 2009 1:04 PM

Oded Fehr does seem like he would have been an obvious choice.

Posted by: Eep at March 11, 2009 1:09 PM

Wait, what?

WHAT?

WHAT THE BLOODY INHUMANE FUCK IS THIS?

I want to cry. What the fuck was wrong with casting Naveen Andrews, or Oded Fehr, or whatever Mohinder Suresh's name is in real life, or ANY OTHER spectacularly fine Middle-Eastern actor, huh?

NO, WE HAVE GODDAMN JAKE GYLLENHAAL.

That wet sound you just heard is me slitting my wrists out of sheer frustration at another white dude grabbing a role that opened up opportunities for someone OTHER than Donnie Darko. And don't mind the grunting, I'll be dead in a minute.

Posted by: Jaci at March 11, 2009 1:11 PM

Correct on that one Pook. Like Paul Mooney said on Chappelle's show: "The Last Samurai, starring Tom Cruise. That's like The Last Nig*** on the Face of the Earth, starring Tom Hanks".

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at March 11, 2009 1:23 PM

That first picture is the "Jack Twist trying to impress Ennis" pose. T_T

Why yes, I will see Jake as Jack for the rest of his/my life, why d'you ask?

Posted by: Linda at March 11, 2009 1:24 PM

Jake is a good-looking guy. A good-looking guy who simply must keep his hair short.

Posted by: samantha t at March 11, 2009 1:26 PM

Cruise plays an American in The Last Samurai.

You know, kind of like Daniel-Day Lewis wasn't portraying a Mohican in "Last of the Mohicans"...

So what's more racist, having white people portray people of darker-skinned races, or thinking that the racial portrayal is accurate as long as the person has brown skin? Oded Fehr is Jewish. Nobody screamed when he portrayed an Egyptian in The Mummy, and nobody is complaining here about suggestions (mine included) that he play a Persian.

Posted by: Eep at March 11, 2009 1:51 PM

How about John Wayne as Genghis Khan Pooks? Or Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Posted by: ed newman at March 11, 2009 1:52 PM

We should set up a fund to save Dustin from Vitiligo. Won't you help?

Posted by: Lucas at March 11, 2009 1:53 PM

Is there some sort of optical illusion happening on Jake's pants in the first picture? Is it supposed to be making me feel funny down there or should I be seeing a boat?

Posted by: jM at March 11, 2009 1:56 PM

"I never realized Arabia was so Russian."

See: MST3K's "The Magic Voyage of Sinbad" (a redubbed, retitled Russian movie, but still...someone made the decision to call it "Sinbad")

See also: The Castle of Fu Manchu, starring Christoper Lee.

As Fu Manchu

"Bad actors, bad decisions. Let me, Crow T. Robot, pull back the curtain and reveal the lie on which your life is based"

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2009 2:01 PM

Holy Godtopus, that's hot.

Coincidentally enough, I just started playing the game, and it kicks all kinds of ass. And to tell you the truth, the Prince in the game doesn't look much darker than Gyllenghal does in these photos. In fact, it seems to be a pretty decent bit of casting, except for the fact that Jake up there doesn't really look like he could run along walls and repeatedly stab things in the face like you do in the game. But I'll give him (and the movie) the benefit of the doubt.

Snath, that's hilarious. I hate running out of sand. Makes for a lot of "noooooo!" on my part.

Posted by: figgy at March 11, 2009 2:03 PM

Oded Fehr is Jewish? I wonder if it was a mindfuck for him to play Faris al-Farik.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2009 2:10 PM

I think the best is Joel Grey as Chun in Remo Williams.

Posted by: Eep at March 11, 2009 2:11 PM

Oded Fehr is Jewish? I wonder if it was a mindfuck for him to play Faris al-Farik.

Yup, born in Tel Aviv, served in the Israeli Navy.

Posted by: Eep at March 11, 2009 2:13 PM

He's all kinds of badass. I'm wearing a Resident Evil: Extinction shirt right now, and I even happened to catch that movie on TV this weekend. He's one of the only reasons I watch those movies. Well, him and Mila.

And zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2009 2:24 PM

I dated a Persian (Iranian) for a bit. Whiter than Jake, but at least 4 times harrier. Dang, Jake looks smokin'!

Posted by: MissNev at March 11, 2009 2:29 PM

@Carrie
James McAvoy.

Posted by: Kelly at March 11, 2009 2:38 PM

Nobody screamed when he portrayed an Egyptian in The Mummy, and nobody is complaining here about suggestions (mine included) that he play a Persian.

And nobody seemed to notice that Naveen Andrews and Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder) are Indian, not Middle Eastern.

Posted by: SaBrina at March 11, 2009 2:42 PM

Hollywood why you gotta rape my vidya games huh?

Posted by: Trollin' at March 11, 2009 2:50 PM

Oooh Kelly James McAvoy is a good one! That slow mo running/shooting scene in Wanted was hot.

Posted by: Carrie at March 11, 2009 3:34 PM

Has there ever been an Asian Fu Manchu? Or an Asian Charlie Chan?

Posted by: frumpiefox at March 11, 2009 4:16 PM

Is it just me or does he look like he's playing Atreyu in a (the) remake of Neverending Story?

Posted by: puppetDoug at March 11, 2009 4:31 PM

I'm with Sabrina and Eep. You're tryin' to be all racially sensitive, Jaci, but you named two men from India and one from Israel as more appropriate to play a Persian.

My college roommate was from Iran, and she was paler than Jake. Had almost as much facial hair, much to her dismay,* but she was beautiful.

*Lots of waxing and bleaching.

Posted by: CatBallou at March 11, 2009 4:58 PM

To paraphrase Achilles from Troy: Was there no one else? Was there no one else?

Good lord he looks as Persian as I do and I'm not referring to complexion. I'm talking facial features here.

And yes the Prince did have some snazzy armour.

Dammit. Another movie I'm gonna avoid or I'm gonna be distracted throughout the damn thing just because my mind won't be able to wrap around the idea of him as a Persian Prince.

Fuck suspension of disbelief.

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 11, 2009 6:11 PM

Julie, I did the exact same thing. Saw Gyllenhaal's hair and started laughing hysterically, too, but followed by a serious "What the hell happened to his hair?"

Posted by: KP at March 11, 2009 6:12 PM

Eep, there are Persian Jews. Also known as Sephardic Jews. My roommate was one. Well, I suppose she still is. She's just not my roommate anymore.

Posted by: Blonde Savant at March 11, 2009 6:33 PM

whitewashing motherfuckers.

Posted by: Elpon at March 11, 2009 6:47 PM

Mike Newell? Four Weddings and a Funeral and Mona Lisa Smile Mike Newell? He's directing a Prince of Persia adaptation? Well, that's VERY weird. I won't see it, but I wonder what odd direction that's going to take the video game adaptation genre. Not a great deal forward, I'll bet.

By the way, first comment under the new posting system! Whoa, instant preview! Nifty! Great job, Pajiba webmaster.

Posted by: vic at March 11, 2009 6:48 PM

I stared at the picture a bit more (not for THAT reason!) and figured out my problem. It's the eyes! They don't look fierce enough. Sorry he looks like someone my gran (were she still alive, Goad rest her cantankerous soul) would walk up to and just pinch on the cheeks.

I could just see her saying "Oh oh.Granny nice child!"

Nope not a Persian killing machine. Just a cute fluffy bunny.

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 11, 2009 7:39 PM

.... white as hell. Looks like a screenshot from Pirates the porn.

Posted by: Mick J at March 11, 2009 10:14 PM

You know, kind of like Daniel-Day Lewis wasn't portraying a Mohican in "Last of the Mohicans

I think he was portraying a white guy who was adopted by Mohicans.

And CatBallou, I'm not trying to be all racially sensitive, I'm only suggesting (violently) that they cast a Middle-Eastern man in the role of a Middle-Eastern character. If I remember right from high school history classes, there were a buttload of nomadic Persian tribes who probably didn't stop at the present-day Iranian border. And also, I could be wrong on this, so go ahead and correct me if I am, but the Persians had a giant-ass empire that emcompassed parts of modern-day India, Israel, and Iran back when this film is set.

It's really not that ridiculous of a concept. There are plenty of Native-American roles filled by other tribes. In The New World they cast a South-American Indian as Pocahontas, and in Last of the Mohicans Uncas was played by an Inuit actor. To suggest they do the same for a movie set in the Middle-East isn't really 'racially sensitive' as much as 'more freaking accurate than a white dude.'

Posted by: Jaci at March 11, 2009 10:35 PM

pq,

All applications for admission to The Pink Hulk fan club can be sent to:

Jeremy Feist
Sergeant at Arms
The Pink Hulk Fan Club
c/o the Azaleas In Front of My Bedroom Window
Birmingham, AL 35216

Thanks for you inquiry!

TPH

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 11, 2009 11:56 PM

Sorry, guys, but Persian and Arab are not the same thing. There's a significant portion of Persians who consider themselves "Aryan," and therefore white. http://www.iranchamber.com/people/articles/aryan_people_origins.php

So this isn't really like Gyllennhlalalalala doing blackface at all. Persian people consider Iran the cradle of Indo-European culture. Mike Newell gets a pass from me for that.

Now, Jake's hair? THAT's offensive.

Posted by: Tammy at March 12, 2009 9:31 AM

Are you sure Prince of Persia need be ethnic? Persia in 6th century was not arabic! Thre people with blue eyes lived there, really.

Posted by: Leni at March 12, 2009 9:37 AM

a lot of people on here arn't pleased with Jake appearence so the solution, send him to my house. you won't see him for a couple of months i guarantee it ;)

Posted by: Amy at March 12, 2009 11:09 AM

He might not look Persian, and the movie may suck, but I would still do him.

Posted by: Brie at March 12, 2009 3:19 PM

I still say he looks too damn wussy to be the Prince of Persia. Muscles aside, he just doesn't LOOK TOUGH! Yeah in the story line the Prince wanted to prove himself but uh uh.

They might as well just slap in the Rock and say "Here! Go stab some stuff!"

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 12, 2009 6:12 PM

Hey, as someone who has been to Iran and as someone who knows several Iranians here in the US, in these pics Jake looks a lot like many, MANY, Iranians. Even the eyes fit with the Iranian look. REMEMBER, they are not Arabs and generally do not have the darker pigmentation seen among many, but not even ALL Arabs. The concept of the movie is FAR more questionable than his appearance. But, hey, who is going to moan and groan about seeing him half-naked (or more?) for a couple of hours? GO JAKE!

Posted by: Robert at May 8, 2009 1:57 PM