Jackass 3D

Idiots Rule

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (39)

Oh, Jesus no.

OK, first of all, I think Jackass is stupid. And not in that ironically-stupid, so-stupid-it’s-funny-way. In that this-is-unamusing-and-I-want-the-creators-to-spontaneously-explode way. I think that the best thing Johnny Knoxville has ever done was probably his co-starring role in the Walking Tall remake, and for the record? That remake fucking sucked.

So to say that I think that I believe a third Jackass movie is a fucking terrible idea would be one of my life’s grandest understatements. And yet, here we are, staring into the abyss of a third one. Not only that, but apparently Paramount is looking to release it in 3-D.

Three-fucking-D. Yeah, because I want nothing more than to see some frat-tard’s naked ass get weasels jammed up it in 3-D.

In any event, it’s going to be directed by Jeff Tremaine again, it’s slated for release in 2010, and it confirms, once again, that there is good reason for me to hate this pestilent ball of vomitus we call a planet.

(h/t to our buddy William Goss at Cinematical for the scoop)

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Comments

Jackass 3D: Pass the Meth

Just turn it into a snuff film and off each other. Why pay to see this in the theater when fucktards all over YouTube are giving it up for free? Johnny, your shit is obsolete. Take your pager and get the fuck out of here.

Posted by: Kballs at November 20, 2009 10:38 AM

The best part of Jackass II was the old man balls and then, only for the Peaches song.

Posted by: admin at November 20, 2009 10:39 AM

Take your pager and get the fuck out of here.

Mini hijack: I once worked with a guy that was so stupid he picked up my friends pager and said "Is this a pager?" I said "No, it's a blender" His response: "really?"

Posted by: admin at November 20, 2009 10:41 AM

(h/t to our buddy William Goss at Cinematical for the scoop)
---
With friends like these ...

Posted by: , (just , cause I'm tired of typing that other shit) at November 20, 2009 10:41 AM

I think they're really onto something with the edition of 3D! When Bam Margera pulls out of Johnny's Knoxville's ass and squirts all over the camera, it will seem like we're all being bathed in glorious, wonderful jizzum. I'm so excited!

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 10:42 AM

Jackass III: This Time, There's Fuckin'

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 10:47 AM

admin: Agreed. If I ever get gay married, I'm walking down the aisle to Fuck The Pain Away.

I somehow see this movie ending badly. Not just "Oh, one of the little dipshits will break an arm or something" badly, I mean "Audience members will literally vomit their internal organs" badly.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 20, 2009 10:48 AM

Fuck Snath! What the hell is wrong with you?

Posted by: admin at November 20, 2009 10:55 AM

Gee, thanks, (jackass with the parentheses).

Posted by: William Goss at November 20, 2009 10:56 AM

I'm still hypnotized by your sparkly body, admin.

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 10:56 AM

WHOAH! WHOAH!

What's with the hate?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2009 10:57 AM

All the closet gay douchebag fratboys who claim to looooove Jackass for the funny but are really in it for the nudity and balls are going to be so very, very excited.

Posted by: figgy at November 20, 2009 10:58 AM

Exactly, figgy. I told my coworker about it and he instantly got all excited. Then I laughed at him.

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 11:00 AM

I'm very excited about this!

Jackass STILL holds up.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2009 11:05 AM

Jackass STILL holds up.

You know what else still holds up?

Lemon Party.

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 11:10 AM

If fratholes want to see ass-play in 3D, why not just hire a male prostitute? They'd get more for the money and if they insist on making it a male-bonding experience, you know like viewing Jackass 3D in the theater, they could ask the pimp about a group rate for his man-bitch. Everyone wins and Johnny Knoxville doesn't make any money.

Unless, of course, he's the pimp. Or the bitch.

Posted by: stardust at November 20, 2009 11:13 AM

I'm assuming all the 3D glasses with be aviators?

Jackass 3D: Who's Going To Be The Top?

Posted by: branded at November 20, 2009 11:13 AM

Also: Pony Penis.

The hell, TK?

Posted by: figgy at November 20, 2009 11:35 AM

I have never had more fun at the movie theatre than the time I went to see the first Jackass movie. I have also never seen a theatre have that much fun. This is great news.

My gf and I went to the second Jackass movie. There was a couple sitting next to us. As soon as the movie ended, the woman turned to the man and said "You are never doign this to me again".

Posted by: Paul D at November 20, 2009 11:54 AM

Wow! lots of homophobia going on here.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2009 11:57 AM

Um, okay a) I'm with figgy, what's with the itty bitty horse with the ginormous shlong? b) Jesus ass, this is shitballs retarded. c) Okay, I did laugh that one time when the balls obsessed guy snorted wasabi and appeared to have a brain aneurysm, but I never had a desire to have the wasabi seem to spray out of his nose at me. Honestly. d) Aren't they getting a little old for this? I think the show was on when I was in high school, and that was some time ago. Shouldn't they be over this shit by now and like driving their kids to soccer practice or something?

Posted by: Katers at November 20, 2009 12:04 PM

That, my friends, is a Miniature Horse. They were created by the devil. Imagine an ankle biting Chihuahua, then make it into a knee high horse. Evil little trolls. And that particular mini seems to be dwarfed, which is an undesirable genetic trait. It shouldn't look like a wiener dog with stumpy legs. I mean, there are standards even for Miniature Horses.
*Note to self: Make sure to go and kick the mini's at the stable today, just for having the audacity to live*

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 20, 2009 12:20 PM

It's not homophobia, BSlim. Hell, I'm actually bi.

I just think, like a lot of people here, that Jackass is made by and for closeted douchebags that are too scared to admit they might want to smoke a pole once in a while. So instead, they see what kind of things they can fit up each others' asses that aren't a hard cock.

The violence and degradation is just a grown-up copy of a schoolyard crush (poke 'em cuz you like 'em).

Only it's for douchebags.

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 12:38 PM

the only thing i don't like about that header pic is i'm not in it!

Posted by: gp at November 20, 2009 12:44 PM

I thought you were, gp. Isn't that you, hanging underneath that horse there?

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 12:48 PM

True that, Snath (who just got even hotter with all the bi talk, yowza!).

I think that if they just face the camera, come out and say it, then pitch smoldering looks at each other and do their damndest to hot it up until one of them breaks and then it turns into an orgy and...

actually, I still don't think I'd be too interested. I could always just go watch Velvet Goldmine again and call it the best choice ever.

Also, I think I better step off these married men before I get a talking to.

Posted by: replica at November 20, 2009 1:42 PM

I saw a male Shetland pony once. Damn, those things are hung. But that picture up there is a daschund with a mane.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 20, 2009 1:57 PM

She said, "Hey. You've got weasels on your face."

Posted by: Lucas at November 20, 2009 2:20 PM

How much can you watch someone eat another man's shit? I mean I'm part German and that's supposed to be hard wired into my system, but I can't get into it.

When they just do the stunts and fall down or beat the shit out of Phil, it tickles the primitive part of my brain, but when bodily fluids get involved, I need to check out, else I may boot.

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 20, 2009 4:49 PM

It's 4:48am on a Saturday morning, and I'm still up since Friday night, and this post has made my day. Long live the awesomeness of Jackass!

Posted by: MikeG at November 21, 2009 4:50 AM

Um, okay a) I'm with figgy, what's with the itty bitty horse with the ginormous shlong?

That's Wee Man, Katers.

Posted by: The Wanderer at November 21, 2009 8:33 AM

Lucas, you can't have that! That snorkels been just like a snorkel to me!

Posted by: Gabs at November 21, 2009 12:46 PM

Jackass is all we should need to constantly remind ourselves that Spike Jonze is not infallible.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 22, 2009 7:55 PM

I don't appreciate the generalizations you are all making about people that enjoy jackass. Nobody loathes the frat-boy culture more than myself but there is something about jackass that makes me happy. I appreciate the absurdity of it all.

I can understand your hatred for all other cinematic abominations but this is so harmless why do you care? Its not like people are pretending its a good movie, in fact, nobody gives these movies any credit at all. So why get so angry?

Posted by: nick at November 22, 2009 8:24 PM

Exactly! I don't came to Pajiba expecting people to be scathing or bitchy!

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 22, 2009 10:58 PM

Jesus Christ, am I the only one here who got into brutal beat the shit out of each other with kendo swords until we both collapsed in laughter fights with my best friend when I was a kid. Come on guys. I still have a George W. Bush standee that I hide in the dark in my parents’ house when I visit, because I don’t have access to a live alligator, and people screaming when they enter rooms is fucking funny. Also, I second B-slim on the “oh their skin is touching, they must be queer” stuff. Disappointing.

Posted by: Piato at November 23, 2009 1:42 PM

All this talk of another jackass movie really makes me want to tuck into an egg in a bap. Maybe with a cresent of kettle chips, served in a sombero, whilst listening to Lisa loeb.

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Posted by: wholesale fashion dresses at January 5, 2011 9:41 PM

I have never had more fun at the movie theatre than the time I went to see the first Jackass movie. I have also never seen a theatre have that much fun. This is great news.
My gf and I went to the second Jackass movie. There was a couple sitting next to us. As soon as the movie ended, the woman turned to the man and said "You are never doign this to me again".

Posted by: bleach cosplay at March 4, 2011 12:48 AM

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